Reply #18: A little empathy would go a long way, Skinner.

[Chovexani]

I've been a member of this site for years. March of 2001, in fact, though that was under a screen name I lost the password too. I logged on as a nineteen-year-old queer woman of color who had her first ever presidential vote stolen and was mad as hell and wanted to do something about it. I've defended this site, and the mods, and you, for years against disgruntled whackjobs and Freeper trolls and any and all comers. This community means that damn much to me. I have learned so much about politics and about the world from here. I have grown tremendously as a person and I have DU to thank for a great deal of that. I have made many dear friends here and rejoiced in their triumphs and mourned in sorrow at their loss (Khephra, Andy, a list far too damn long). I've moved three times, cried on virtual shoulders, and knocked back virtual drinks. Laughed and cried. Protested in the street side by side with DUers. Done it all. On September 11th, when my city was on fire and I had no idea where my family was and and it felt like the god damned apocalypse was happening all around me I logged onto DU. DU was my news and my solace. When my aunt was killed by a drunk driver last March the first thing I did was log onto DU for comfort. No other site has lifted me up in the bad times the way DU has (sometimes even literally, when I passed out during the RNC protest and fellow DUers made sure the media vultures didn't stick cameras in my face as EMS rolled me away). The people here have been a second family to me.

I stuck it out over the so-called "bitch wars", despite agreeing with those who left, because I felt that staying was more important, this community was too important to give up on. Even when I was a broke ass college student and couldn't support you financially I always tried to support you in spirit. But the writing was on the wall even back then.

With all due respect, Skinner, the core values of this site have been dead for a long time. People can no longer speak truth to power here anymore. You can pretend otherwise, but come on, we're all adults here. We're just whistling in the graveyard now. I think you'll find that people have and will "move on to other things". Or didn't the fundraiser results show you that? The Internets are a vast series of tubes, bro, and people will only put up with things for so long. No amount of please baby please posts will change that. This is starting to sound like an O'Jays song. When this many people are upset about something, behavior needs to get examined. Instead you are figuratively plugging your fingers in your ears and singing la la la can't hear you. Well, I am taking your advice. I'm moving on. I am tired of people's concerns being silenced in the name of upholding privilege. I'm tired of it. Everyday I have to pronoun dance at work because I live in a right to work state and have no anti-discrimination policy at my work. I fight for marriage equality even though marrying the woman I love more than life itself would mean losing my entire family. I fight and I fight and I fight every goddamn minute of every goddamn day. That is something you will never understand. That is something even our most beloved and sincere of heterosexual allies will never understand.

Sophia said it best in the movie version of The Color Purple: "All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain't safe in a family of men, but I ain't never thought I'd have to fight in my own house!"

I'm not fighting anymore, Skinner. You win.