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Reply #20: God is very very busy [View All]

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thinkingwoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-17-06 06:26 PM
Response to Original message
20. God is very very busy
Edited on Fri Mar-17-06 07:00 PM by thinkingwoman
He has a lot of important prayers to answer like:

1. making sure the right team wins each basketball, football, soccer, baseball, hockey game, etc.

2. making sure that the people who pray hard enough and correctly are spared by the tornado, flood, fire, hurricane, earthquake, blizzard, etc., and that their evil neighbors are purged from the planet.

3. blessing all those meetings, and congressional assemblies praying for his guidance as they do the work they were elected/hired to do all by themselves but obviously can't manage without His assistance.

He also has a lot of important daily business of his own to tend to like:

1. adding and removing names from the Book of Life whenever somebody makes a large donation to a church or whacks off in their bathroom.

2. chasing after that wily Devil fellow who manages to elude He who knows all and sees all.

3. argue with His son/Himself about whether or not He really thinks it is such a good idea to come down here a second time given the reception He got the first time around.

4. finish that blasted self-regenerating honey-do list that Mrs. God keeps nagging Him about.

so sayeth the thinkingwoman on this 17th day of March, 2006

edited to add sig

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  -What does God do all day? funflower  Mar-17-06 02:27 AM   #0 
  - What's a 'Day' in God-world  Spinzonner   Mar-17-06 02:39 AM   #1 
  - God or me-Not Sure  Goat or Panic   Mar-17-06 02:45 AM   #2 
  - Welcome to DU, Goat! Now you can put us on your schedule.  funflower   Mar-17-06 02:50 AM   #3 
  - Micromanage sporting events, deciding who wins.  Dragon Turtle   Mar-17-06 02:53 AM   #4 
  - Plays Yahtzee  realisticphish   Mar-17-06 02:58 AM   #5 
  - What does God do all day long? Well? Why of course He talks  TaleWgnDg   Mar-17-06 03:05 AM   #6 
  - he savors . . . n/t  OneBlueSky   Mar-17-06 03:12 AM   #7 
  - He guides the thoughts and actions of his followers......  ClintonTyree   Mar-17-06 03:15 AM   #8 
  - One cannot do...  LiberalVoice   Mar-17-06 03:23 AM   #9 
  - I thought he owned the Yankees...  BeyondThePale   Mar-17-06 05:44 AM   #10 
  - bad karma . . . very bad . . .  TaleWgnDg   Mar-17-06 03:39 PM   #16 
  - You're right! You've won! You get whatever's behind Curtain #3!  funflower   Mar-17-06 03:59 PM   #17 
  - Assuming such a being exists, probably laughing at all of us in the  no_hypocrisy   Mar-17-06 06:20 AM   #11 
  - It's "worse" than you think  genie_weenie   Mar-17-06 08:15 AM   #12 
  - Fucks Mrs. God  InaneAnanity   Mar-17-06 12:47 PM   #13 
  - So God is a lesbian?  TNDemo   Mar-17-06 01:29 PM   #14 
  - Thereby creating a lot of little God babies?  funflower   Mar-17-06 04:01 PM   #18 
  - ;)  FM Arouet666   Mar-18-06 12:57 AM   #25 
  - Ignore The Sick, Starving, Suffering, Dying, And Abused?  arwalden   Mar-17-06 01:35 PM   #15 
  - in my less pious moments, I imagine he sits staring at the wall  nemo137   Mar-17-06 05:18 PM   #19 
  - God is very very busy  thinkingwoman   Mar-17-06 06:26 PM   #20 
  - Ha! Can I frame that?  funflower   Mar-17-06 06:53 PM   #21 
     - Be my guest  thinkingwoman   Mar-17-06 07:02 PM   #22 
  - God is the ultimate multitasker  Zebedeo   Mar-17-06 07:45 PM   #23 
  - Masturbate?  FM Arouet666   Mar-18-06 12:53 AM   #24 
  - Anyone who claims to know what unproven gods do with their time...  Zhade   Mar-19-06 02:58 PM   #26 
  - He whips up tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and/or tsunamis  BuffyTheFundieSlayer   Mar-20-06 12:32 AM   #27 
  - self-delete  varkam   Mar-20-06 07:17 AM   #28 
  - He watches you while you're in the shower...  varkam   Mar-20-06 07:18 AM   #29 
  - He reviews the universes source code  Ready4Change   Mar-21-06 11:23 PM   #30 

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