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Reply #30: i started researching Narcissisist Personality Disorder b/c of my last [View All]

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nashville_brook Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-20-05 12:53 PM
Response to Reply #19
30. i started researching Narcissisist Personality Disorder b/c of my last
boss/business partner. i WAS in marketing communications and as such, i was a narcissist's wet dream -- a high-dollar creative able to polish a turd to numinous sheen. my last three employers were notorious narcissists. i made them look damn good which to a narcissist is even better than the money i was able to bring down for them.

i've been abused by these farkers for years, and this last boss offered me an executive position in a financial services marketing firm she was forming. we had been laid off in a merger, and i figured, why not, lets give this a shot.

she bascially used me as her personal best friend, dog, gopher, governess, slave -- you name it. because it was the first woman i had worked with i had the sudden flash of insight that she was treating me like all those girls in high school i so successfully avoided. they have you on their quick-dial and phone every 10 minutes ostensibly "to be you friend" and ask advice about everything from personal matters to hair color. it's control. they don't want you to have YOUR life. they will sabotage all your other relationships b/c they can't stand the fact that you don't BELONG to them completely.

one nite, after this business associate had been calling and freaking out at me all day, i woke up having a panic attack which turned into a migraine that lasted for 3 days. as soon as the headache lifted i wrote a letter of resignation and decided to work for myself and pursue my writing career (at least for a few months while i have severance and unemployment).

what caused most of my discomfort was i actually stepped into the slave role and became the task-master to those under me. she demanded it. i simply cannot work that way. i'm a facilitator. i have to work with WHOLE people. when i realized this, my decision was easy. but it's taken me a decade to get here.

There's a great book that came out in the 80s, The Chalice and the Blade by Riane Eisler. In it she outlines TWO possible alternatives for human social interaction -- Partnership and Dominance. really good stuff if anyone is interested in deeper reading into the dynamics.
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