Reply #98: Agree to disagree

[michiganlady]

I'm fully aware of what arrearages are for .. and I did not say that the non-custodial parent should be able to decide to replace support payments. I am saying that the arrangement is unfair.

If the childs needs are being met, and the non-custodial parent has the child at least 50% of the time then the non-custodial parents expenses are not going to be different than the custodial parents. If one parent is paying for health insurance, the non-custodial parent should have to pay half of that cost, but again, most people do not pay for their own insurance.

The non-custodial parent that has their child 50% of the time and keeps their child clothed and fed, (necessities) has the same expenses that the custodial parent does. The support is about taking care of the child.

If that is taken care of why does the custodial parent think the non-custodial parent should be giving them money? In situations like the one I describe, the only difference between the custodial parent and the non-custodial parent, is the paper it is written on. The real life situation is no different.

Just because someone enacts a law doesn't mean it's fair or right. Throughout history people have been victimized by the law, just because it was made law.

Let's just agree to disagree ..

I am in favor of life being good for all involved.

You can't lump all non-custodial parents into one basket... circumstances need to be considered on an individual basis, and even if the law books say that is so, it's not. We need to apply common sense in real life situations.

Also, if a non-custodial parent is just as loving and caring of their child as the custodial parent (not that all custodial parents are fit, or caring) they should have the same rights to make decisions concerning their child as the custodial parent. Divided homes are just that .. the parent should still have equal rights.

It would be doing a great service to children of broken homes if people would think more about the relationships between their child and the non-custodial parent. No one has the right to infringe on that in any way, least of all the courts.
The courts are responsible for the division of children and non-custodial parents far too often because of the way the system is set up. The relationship seems to be last on the list of priority if it even comes into the picture at all.

Again, I am not speaking of deadbeats!