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Reply #83: I would hardly say I am selfish... [View All]

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dlcloum31 Donating Member (4 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-03-07 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #81
83. I would hardly say I am selfish...
If I were selfish why would I have married a guy knowing he had other children that would always be a part of my life and if I were selfish why would I have kids with this man and do as much as I possibly can to work with the other mothers on visiting time just so my children have good relationships with their other siblings. Also, I work from home and my husband works second shift from 2pm - 12 midnight, so who do you think takes care of his other children when they come for a visit, who do you think makes plans to do stuff with them so that they are not bored when they come visit, and who do you think deals with problems or attitudes or anything his other teenage children go through. Unfortunately it's not him, it's me. Why, because I do care about and loves his other kids just as much as I do my own.

My only intention when wrote my original blog is to get people (critics) like you to realize that it's not always the mothers of children that are struggling. How do you think my husband and I feel to know that $800.00 a month in child support is being paid out to support his children but one child only sees $200.00 a month and the other three only see about $100.00. If the courts were so worried about these children being provided for then why not give them the damn money that is being paid for them! Why add 8% interest on arrears every January and July? If the State would stop adding interest every year, maybe it would be a little easier for the people paying child support to catch up on arrears so that way the children really did see all the money, but no, the State makes sure that they get paid before anyone.

One of the mothers is owed about $3000.00 in arrears and about $4000.00 in arrears is owed to the state for the time she had the child in daycare and the state paid for it. On our last years taxes the state kept our $4500.00 refund to put towards arrears. The mother called the state to find out if she was gonna get any of that money and they said "no, the state keeps all arrears until we are paid off". So how can that make sense to anyone. I would think that the mothers would be paid there arrears first so that way the money would go towards helping the children. All my husbands other children are teenagers and by the time the state decides to pay them their arrears, the children will be on their own. When it comes to situation like this, the state is wrong on the way they handle child support.

When it comes to spending time with these children, I am the one who has to prepare for it. I buy the things they like to eat, I plan things to do with them while they are here, they never come prepared so I buy them several new outfits every time they come so they have more than two or three outfits to wear, I am always the one to pick them up and drop them off, I get them home when they need to be there for other family things like their other siblings birthdays, and I always talk with the other mothers when it comes to visiting or school problems or whatever.

So you telling me that I am selfish and self-absorbed is a bunch of bull shit. I don't know any other woman that would take on four children that wasn't hers and love for them and care for them the way I have for these kids.
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