You are viewing an obsolete version of the DU website which is no longer supported by the Administrators. Visit The New DU.
Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Reply #83: I would hardly say I am selfish... [View All]

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
Home » Discuss » Places » Michigan Donate to DU
dlcloum31 Donating Member (4 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-03-07 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #81
83. I would hardly say I am selfish...
If I were selfish why would I have married a guy knowing he had other children that would always be a part of my life and if I were selfish why would I have kids with this man and do as much as I possibly can to work with the other mothers on visiting time just so my children have good relationships with their other siblings. Also, I work from home and my husband works second shift from 2pm - 12 midnight, so who do you think takes care of his other children when they come for a visit, who do you think makes plans to do stuff with them so that they are not bored when they come visit, and who do you think deals with problems or attitudes or anything his other teenage children go through. Unfortunately it's not him, it's me. Why, because I do care about and loves his other kids just as much as I do my own.

My only intention when wrote my original blog is to get people (critics) like you to realize that it's not always the mothers of children that are struggling. How do you think my husband and I feel to know that $800.00 a month in child support is being paid out to support his children but one child only sees $200.00 a month and the other three only see about $100.00. If the courts were so worried about these children being provided for then why not give them the damn money that is being paid for them! Why add 8% interest on arrears every January and July? If the State would stop adding interest every year, maybe it would be a little easier for the people paying child support to catch up on arrears so that way the children really did see all the money, but no, the State makes sure that they get paid before anyone.

One of the mothers is owed about $3000.00 in arrears and about $4000.00 in arrears is owed to the state for the time she had the child in daycare and the state paid for it. On our last years taxes the state kept our $4500.00 refund to put towards arrears. The mother called the state to find out if she was gonna get any of that money and they said "no, the state keeps all arrears until we are paid off". So how can that make sense to anyone. I would think that the mothers would be paid there arrears first so that way the money would go towards helping the children. All my husbands other children are teenagers and by the time the state decides to pay them their arrears, the children will be on their own. When it comes to situation like this, the state is wrong on the way they handle child support.

When it comes to spending time with these children, I am the one who has to prepare for it. I buy the things they like to eat, I plan things to do with them while they are here, they never come prepared so I buy them several new outfits every time they come so they have more than two or three outfits to wear, I am always the one to pick them up and drop them off, I get them home when they need to be there for other family things like their other siblings birthdays, and I always talk with the other mothers when it comes to visiting or school problems or whatever.

So you telling me that I am selfish and self-absorbed is a bunch of bull shit. I don't know any other woman that would take on four children that wasn't hers and love for them and care for them the way I have for these kids.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
  -Child support laws in Michigan are unreasonable... KingChicken  Jan-14-05 07:29 AM   #0 
  - Do you have the text of the law?  proudbluestater   Jan-14-05 07:35 AM   #1 
  - While he is unemployed, possibly for months, he still must pay...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 07:48 AM   #2 
  - Perhaps you missed the part where he was unemployed for a while  ET Awful   Jan-14-05 07:50 AM   #3 
  - What do you base that "feeling that they rarely face jail time" on?  BR_Parkway   Jan-14-05 07:55 AM   #6 
  - You are correct about non payment of child support leading to  Rainbowreflect   Jan-14-05 09:06 AM   #20 
     - A local guy was picked up for non payment last year...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 09:27 AM   #23 
        - That's a bench warrant  lwfern   Jan-14-05 09:50 AM   #27 
           - Yeah bench warrant, but eventally you will be arrested just the same.  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 10:32 AM   #33 
              - "eventually"  lwfern   Jan-14-05 11:07 AM   #39 
                 - Why do you keep citing child homelessness, and not being fed?  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 12:04 PM   #40 
                    - the reason they aren't risking homelessness/wellbeing  lwfern   Jan-14-05 12:17 PM   #42 
                       - How can you say that?  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 12:50 PM   #47 
  - Sounds like the kids should quit eating and expecting shelter.  IdaBriggs   Jan-14-05 07:51 AM   #4 
  - He is extremely responsible, he does everything...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 07:59 AM   #7 
  - I disagree with you.  IdaBriggs   Jan-14-05 08:13 AM   #14 
     - She is doing fine, not homeless by any means...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 08:38 AM   #17 
        - "She's raking in the cash --" because his $1K is SO MUCH MONEY.  IdaBriggs   Jan-14-05 09:48 AM   #26 
           - Her job, her husbands job plus his support.  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 10:14 AM   #31 
              - ROFLMA -- Its ANOTHER man's job to support HIS kid?  IdaBriggs   Jan-14-05 10:36 AM   #34 
                 - Of course it's another man's job  lwfern   Jan-14-05 10:54 AM   #37 
                    - I guess that makes sense -- if you're sleeping with her,  IdaBriggs   Jan-14-05 11:01 AM   #38 
                    - I will argree on that, I don't know if thats the money for the car....  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 12:20 PM   #44 
  - Interesting that the OP is going out of their way to make certain  kgfnally   Jun-03-07 08:07 PM   #67 
     - Take my time, when you respond to a post from TWO YEARS AGO?  IdaBriggs   Jun-04-07 11:17 PM   #68 
     - Child Support  exacta   Jan-17-10 07:52 PM   #101 
     - Death, Incarceration, Quadraplegia  Demeter   Jun-16-07 01:21 PM   #72 
  - Married unemployed fathers don't get to put supporting their kids  elehhhhna   Jan-14-05 07:52 AM   #5 
  - Don't be ingnorant, not all single fathers are deadbeats...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 08:03 AM   #9 
     - I said nothing about or implying Deadbeat Dad syndrome...  elehhhhna   Jan-14-05 08:22 AM   #16 
  - On the other side of the issue...  displacedtexan   Jan-14-05 08:02 AM   #8 
  - He can petition the court, however it takes months...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 08:06 AM   #11 
  - A father who reduces his income to avoid support  Dangerous Felon   Jan-17-05 11:40 AM   #52 
     - Source for that claim?  lwfern   Jan-17-05 04:31 PM   #54 
     - That's not true.  GreenEyedLefty   Jan-20-10 11:17 AM   #102 
  - whatever you do in the dark soon comes to light.. so in the long run  sam sarrha   Jan-14-05 08:04 AM   #10 
  - I agree totally, but everyone is young at some time.  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 08:11 AM   #13 
  - I'm not sure how it works in Michigan but.....  eternalburn   Jan-14-05 08:10 AM   #12 
  - Too idealistic, reality is harsh, things usally don't work for the best...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 08:15 AM   #15 
  - That's how it works in Michigan also  lwfern   Jan-14-05 08:41 AM   #18 
     - You're not paying attention, he pays for things like daycare...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 08:48 AM   #19 
     - The system always sides with the mother?  lwfern   Jan-14-05 09:08 AM   #21 
        - Buddy, the court is not gender neutral...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 09:31 AM   #24 
           - The mother's are favored...  dlcloum31   Jul-21-07 07:10 PM   #74 
              - True - mothers are favored  michiganlady   Mar-19-08 11:28 AM   #97 
              - I actually found that rather unfair.  GreenEyedLefty   Jan-20-10 11:20 AM   #103 
              - the CUSTODIAL parent gets to claim the deduction/tax credits  Scout   Jan-20-10 03:52 PM   #104 
     - Extra Gifts?  michiganlady   Mar-18-08 03:12 PM   #91 
        - You've just confused "gifts" with "needs".  lwfern   Mar-18-08 08:49 PM   #92 
           - Needs vs Gifts  michiganlady   Mar-19-08 10:51 AM   #93 
           - Needs vs gifts  lwfern   Mar-19-08 11:11 AM   #95 
           - Part of the problem  michiganlady   Mar-19-08 11:08 AM   #94 
              - The expenses when a child is at the other parents house  lwfern   Mar-19-08 11:22 AM   #96 
                 - Agree to disagree  michiganlady   Mar-19-08 11:52 AM   #98 
  - The child support laws need to change.....  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 09:24 AM   #22 
  - There's nothing extreme in the solution  lwfern   Jan-14-05 09:36 AM   #25 
  - The guy is 28, what do you want?  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 09:54 AM   #28 
     - What do I want?  lwfern   Jan-14-05 10:04 AM   #30 
  - Let's try the new system for a while before we change it.  IdaBriggs   Jan-14-05 10:03 AM   #29 
     - He can't have custody.....  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 10:27 AM   #32 
        - You do seem to have a victim mentality here  lwfern   Jan-14-05 10:44 AM   #35 
        - There is no victim here, i'm not claiming a victim, just unfair...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 12:36 PM   #46 
        - Incorrect. Michigan is VERY gender neutral.  IdaBriggs   Jan-14-05 10:46 AM   #36 
           - Stop using sensationalism to sell your point...  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 12:16 PM   #41 
              - Stop using sensationalism to sell your point  lwfern   Jan-14-05 12:19 PM   #43 
              - Do you have any suggestions? What's the solution?  KingChicken   Jan-14-05 12:30 PM   #45 
                 - The statistics say I'm right  lwfern   Jan-14-05 01:30 PM   #48 
              - Stop using ignorance to ignore reality.  IdaBriggs   Jan-15-05 08:08 AM   #49 
              - Deleted message  Name removed   Jan-17-05 11:35 AM   #51 
                 - That IS what happens  lwfern   Jan-17-05 04:54 PM   #55 
              - Your friend needs a lawyer.  hickman1937   Jan-17-05 02:52 PM   #53 
  - If you have never dealt with the system do not speak of it.  sarcasmo   Jan-16-05 06:53 PM   #50 
  - Michigan is NOT the toughest in the Union  lwfern   Jan-17-05 05:03 PM   #56 
  - Maybe both abortion and murder should be easier....  stavka   Jan-17-05 09:30 PM   #57 
  - When the child support gestapo comes to your door then talk to me.  sarcasmo   Jan-25-05 10:03 AM   #58 
     - hopefully you love your kid  lwfern   Jan-25-05 03:30 PM   #59 
        - Love for my kid is not in question, If you have kids and Divorce then your  sarcasmo   Jan-26-05 08:52 AM   #60 
           - Kids don't "become" a case number  lwfern   Jan-26-05 11:37 AM   #62 
              - Friend of the Court does nothing right away, LMFAO.  sarcasmo   Jan-27-05 09:32 AM   #63 
                 - You think I haven't dealt with them?  lwfern   Jan-27-05 12:52 PM   #64 
                    - where is my childs house,i pay for?  bummer   May-31-07 12:10 PM   #65 
  - methinks thou dost protest too much!  Scout   Jan-26-05 11:09 AM   #61 
  - If they throw you in jail  michreject   Jun-02-07 07:52 AM   #66 
  - I worked for a temp agency once, in their office, and it is bad.  knitter4democracy   Jun-05-07 09:10 PM   #69 
  - His children continue to live regardless of the situation. Something  MrsGrumpy   Jun-13-07 06:19 AM   #70 
  - I read through all the posts and he is blaming the woman for not taking the pill  LisaM   Jun-14-07 01:24 PM   #71 
     - Birth Control Responsibility  michiganlady   Mar-18-08 12:08 PM   #90 
        - Welcome to D/U and enjoy the many great forums.  sarcasmo   Mar-21-08 10:14 AM   #99 
  - Child Support Laws ARE unreasonable...  dlcloum31   Jul-21-07 06:34 PM   #73 
  - Seven children is a lot to support.  lwfern   Jul-21-07 11:52 PM   #75 
  - Here is a math suggestion for you --  IdaBriggs   Jul-27-07 10:33 AM   #76 
  - no math suggestion!  dlcloum31   Jul-30-07 08:11 PM   #79 
     - It doesn't sound to me like your husband's getting screwed by the state  lwfern   Jul-31-07 12:03 PM   #80 
     - You can whine all you want -- I think the situation is perfectly reasonable.  IdaBriggs   Jul-31-07 05:06 PM   #81 
        - I would hardly say I am selfish...  dlcloum31   Aug-03-07 07:21 PM   #83 
           - I will expain to you once more why I think YOU are selfish.  IdaBriggs   Aug-05-07 09:31 AM   #84 
           - your whole attitude DRIPS selfishness and now you're trying to play the martyr...  Scout   Aug-05-07 10:27 AM   #85 
           - It does look a little selfish  lwfern   Aug-06-07 09:43 AM   #86 
  - Lots of whining in here ...  Scout   Jul-27-07 11:51 AM   #77 
  - Why do so many people have children they can't afford?  skipos   Jul-28-07 03:30 PM   #78 
  - Sounds like an argument for just not having kids at all  bluestateguy   Aug-01-07 08:05 PM   #82 
  - My Son turned 18 on Friday, I am done!  sarcasmo   Sep-01-07 06:05 PM   #87 
  - Hopefully if he needs help  lwfern   Sep-01-07 07:00 PM   #88 
     - Done with the Court system. Does that sound better for you?  sarcasmo   Sep-02-07 03:43 PM   #89 
  - Mothers pay child support as well - I am one of them n/t  addreamgirl   Mar-26-08 12:05 PM   #100 
  - We never had to wait "months" for a "hearing"  noamnety   Jan-26-10 05:48 PM   #105 
  - To all of those who want to jail someone over the almighty dollar  Chucky_The_Freak   Feb-07-10 12:48 AM   #106 
  - Mike Cox is that you?  sarcasmo   Nov-15-10 09:05 AM   #110 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   Oct-29-10 08:28 PM   #107 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   Nov-01-10 09:26 PM   #108 
  - Hello  Lions_fan   Nov-14-10 03:57 PM   #109 
 

Home » Discuss » Places » Michigan Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC