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Reply #81: You can whine all you want -- I think the situation is perfectly reasonable. [View All]

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IdaBriggs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-31-07 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #79
81. You can whine all you want -- I think the situation is perfectly reasonable.
You "fell in love" with a guy who already had children, and now he has to pay to take care of them (as opposed to ME taking care of them). Apparently he has not been consistent about paying timely or whatever over the years, and his ex is collecting welfare for some unknown reason. I'm not sure why, but whatever -- not my problem.

I don't feel sorry for you. I don't care WHO you fall in love with -- you've ALWAYS got a choice about how you want to live your life. I "fell in love" with a recovering alcoholic once. He was a great guy, but we ended up not "staying together forever" because he needed to be with someone who could handle the time he needed to spend at meetings, etc. and also go to meetings herself. While I could applaud the commitment he made to sobriety, it wasn't a decision I wanted to make as a lifestyle choice for me and my future children (who would have needed to deal with being children of an alcoholic) when I had a choice about it. We're still friends, he's a great guy, and I am madly in love with my husband of ten plus years who is *NOT* a recovering alcoholic.

YOU had a choice about how many siblings and broken families you wanted your children exposed to. You married a guy who has a history of not staying with the mothers of his children (based on the fact that you are #3). Odds of SOME of those kids having emotional problems is pretty darn good -- but the "play dumb" philosophy so many people exhibit will most likely have you a) blaming it all on the "other mothers" and b) maintaining an oblivious attitude about your own husband's role in the success or failure of their upbringing (usually by NOT being a regular part of it -- what were those distances you quoted? hundreds of miles, and every other weekend? Is that *really* what you think would be in the best interests of YOUR OWN children -- every other weekend dad time?) ARGH!

You are a step-mom of four other children. Quit whining about the fact your spouse has other children who are Just As Entitled (if not more so) to HIS money and time than you and your "new" family. The fact that your actions could be viewed by total strangers who don't know you (meaning me) as selfish, self-absorbed, and really kind of stupid probably doesn't phase that "poor me" victim mentality of yours (because YOU certainly can't be held responsible for your own action (eye roll!)), but whatever. Karma will most likely bite you in the butt sometime -- it usually works that way. If not directly on you, then on your children. Sigh... :(

With the God-Awful situation you have described, the pitiful amounts of money your husband is sending ($50 per child per week) should be the least of your worries!
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