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Reply #80: It doesn't sound to me like your husband's getting screwed by the state [View All]

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noamnety Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-31-07 12:03 PM
Response to Reply #79
80. It doesn't sound to me like your husband's getting screwed by the state
It sounds like the state is borrowing money from other taxpayers to make sure those kids are provided for, and then using the money from the father, when he pays it, to reimburse the tax payers.

That actually sounds quite reasonable.

You will probably be much happier in life if you drop the attitude that you have the right to peruse some other woman's detailed finances, on account of your husband supporting his children. If you've been on welfare yourself, you probably understand that obnoxious attitude some people cop, where they think being poor means you give up your right to privacy, and suddenly every item on your grocery bill or every pair of underwear you buy is up for public inspection by every-random-person.

Your husband needs to pay what the state says he needs to pay. You all need to quit thinking that paying child support entitles you to run their household in accordance with how you see fit. You aren't in charge of buying their outfits, you aren't in charge of deciding a name brand box of pasta is too extravagant for them, whatever vacation they decided to go on, it's not your job to find out whether they stayed with friends or in a hotel, or if they knew someone that was able to give them a break, or if that woman's boyfriend paid for it - it's a hard thing to grasp for some people, but that's not your life. Your life is the one that happens inside your own 4 walls.

Nobody here has said you have to live your life with no children. I doubt he wants your children raised at the expense of his other children. I'm guessing he loves them all.

If he leaves you for another woman and decides to have yet more children with her, would you really want the courts saying he doesn't have to support your kids, because he's got newer ones to deal with now? Would you want the new woman feeling like she's entitled to pour over how you spend the little money you have, and complaining that you don't deserve any child support unless you vow never to take a vacation during the time you receive it?

The way you'd want the state to treat that situation if it occurs, there's something to be learned from that.
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