Reply #37: He's right.

[rucky]

Does anybody have a parent or grandparent who you love, but still throws out bigoted comments every now and then? You wouldn't write them off. My Dad did it all the time I was growing up - gays, Blacks, Mexicans. He's a good guy and treats people fairly, but he had some serious misconceptions. Over the years my brothers and I have pretty much brought him up to speed on prejudice by non-judgementally telling him why it's wrong for him to say/think that way.

It's not just with family members. Several times I've confronted antisemetism, racism and homophobia in a non-judgemental and informative way and am pretty darn sure most of those people left the conversation with at least a different viewpoint to mull over. I don't think anybody would ever get that far if they express outrage or called that person a bigot. Emotionally-charged arguements are really easy to write off. Do you listen to people who call you names? Do you expect everybody to naturally have the same level of sensitivity that you do? Especially when there are so many institutions out there who preach hatred, depending on your environment, that could just be somebody's frame of reference. They've never met an openly gay person, but they've heard about them in not-so-flattering lights. Telling someone like that to screw themselves will just reinforce their prejudices.

Bigotry hurts, but if you want to end it, we need open and respectful dialogue. Even if there's not agreement on the issue, the respect will still be there - and that may carry over in their overall view of the minority population.