Reply #92: The communication gap is interesting, in and of itself.

[Cary]

I've been trying to communicate with these people. As a lawyer, communication is a big part of what I do and I have to say, if I may, that I'm good at it. I've tried all of the usual strategies of finding common ground, and validating whereever possible. Yet they insult profusely, and then deny that they are insulting.

The culmination of my experiment, venturing into the enemy camp, was this post by one who calls himself "Biloxi":

SORRY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BLOCK THIS QUOTE

We don’t chase anybody away Matilda. Those with the opposing viewpoint have yet to show enough conviction in said viewpoint to see it through. If you can’t read Cary for what he is, then maybe we need to re-evaluate. If you want this to be some sort of Oprah show, go ahead but you’ll see less participation from me. I gave Cary every opportunity to post and debate his views. He claims one thing and does another.

Maybe I’m all wet but his posts were dripping with condescension and arrogance. They did at the other board as well. He comes in to a board and tries to tell everyone else how it should be done, at least according to Cary. If you are asking us to not be ourselves, I decline. I ask you Matilda, have you had a problem with my posts or my general style of posting at any point during the entire time you have been posting on the same forums as I? Have I been excessively rude, obnoxious or inconsiderate of other posters? Now apply the same questions to any of the regulars who post here.

The problem seems to be among the supposed posters we have driven away. They seem to follow the standard liberal line of style over substance. The lack of substance is glaring when you get on a board with a stable of minds such as Campaigner, Mornac, Chi-Brown, Biscuithead, Mensa, You, Chameleon and everyone else. I’ve said it to Cary. We have different levels of education, expertise and presentation but this is a group I’d go into political, moral and ideological battle with ANY DAY. Are we supposed to allow people to come in, insult our intelligence and not respond? (We know liberals believe they are intellectually superior and with the exception of Jzetti they all tried to deliver that point one way or another) The Liz Taylor analogy is actually insulting to your own board.

Do you suggest we are the losers and dagon, johnhp, lewis, folgers, jaycee38, jzetti, salgal, and now Cary are the reasonable suitors? They all have two things in common besides a faulty political ideology. (1.) Their ideas couldn’t hold water. (2) Each and every one of them GAVE UP. They were so confident in their cause that they bailed on it. We are not the DU that would be a forum that drives people away. You know us all well enough through our posting, you make the call. Frankly I’m puzzled that you even asked the question.

END OF QUOTE

Does this stir up visions of Hitler doing his little jig in Bavaria after the fall of France, or what?


I'm Cary, obviously. These people were livid that I used my real name, and told them I was a lawyer. That's an immediate culture gap because I have no problem telling people who I am and what I do. I fail to see how telling people who I am, and what I do, is "condescending". But this was done and there was either no way around it, nor any way they would let me off the hook for it. I suspect it was more the latter, than the former.

But that's not what I find interesting here. The big culture gap I see is the anger in this. Remember, it's only a discussion board and I didn't do anything so bad that it could justify them declaring a "political, moral, and ideological battle" against me.

Note too the string of names that they are so proud of. They view this as scalps from their "battles". Did we "give up"? Or did it become abundantly clear that these neo-cons weren't worth the time.

In short, they either didn't respond to my point, or I got some kind of lecture about how I'm "dripping" with condescension, or haven't responded to some point of theirs. This is a well-practiced routine, derived I think from right-wing radio talk show hosts.

I could go on. I don't know if I expressed the subtleties of this problem adequately. I'm very interested in this topic, from a clinical perspective. Any thoughts? Do you understand the issue here? Do you care?

I think "so what" could be a good response. These people's minds are closed and all reasonable people will see through this for what it really is: bullying, IMHO.