Reply #114: Dean Trolls Prowl as Numbers Dwindle

[ourwinter]

For Immediate Release
Dean Trolls Prowl as Numbers Dwindle

-Faux News Staff Writer

Filed 8:42pm

In a striking turn of events bloggers from every Democratic campaign have noticed an odd spike in obscenely redundant bloggers leaving messages for other candidates on their communities blogs. As Dean’s numbers go lower across the nation, the internet supporters have taken to the internet striking out at anyone within reach.

Finkletimes a self-professed blogger found on Kuccinich’s community website: "Yeah, they just come in, tell us how much we suck, how many bats were recently broken, or what the last thing Trippi said and then tell us again how we’ll never win and then they leave again. It’s getting a little bit silly." I then asked what Finkletimes did about it.

"Well, what could I do, I took off got some coffee and then talked to some of my co-workers, but I don’t have time for this stuff you know?"

Reggiestiger, a blogger from Wesley Clark’s home page described one interaction with a blogger as "real ugly" by telling this reporter:

"Well it started off civil you know?" I nodded, urging Reggiestiger to continue.

"I had just sent an email message telling my fellow bloggers that we should remain positive. All of the sudden this message popped up from an anonymous blogger." Reggiestiger took a second to calm herself and continued.

"Who said that Clark: ‘sucked, Madonna sucked too much because she is always sucking face,’ and that we all suck and to ‘give up now and submit to wrath of Dean.’ I was kind of taken aback about all of it but tried to remain positive and wrote another message to ignore it. Then the blogger reappeared and said we are all: ‘worthless & weak’ and ‘don’t really have a Democrat candidate but, a wannabe donkey in a Elephant’s bad fitting costume’ and that ‘no one is going is going to pin the tail on him." Reggiestiger, admitted that she "lost it" and said some really "messed up things" about Dean, but wanted me to know that she never goes to Dean’s website to leave messages, that it was "all to defend our candidate." I asked her who she thought the bloggers were:

"Well I guess, they’re angry Deaniacs," Deaniacs is a term used for supporters of Howard Dean. "But" Reggiestiger continued "They could be anyone, who the heck knows, maybe they’re Republican spies trying to get us to hate each other." Pausing the reporter pondered the possibility of a conspiracy breaking open.

A blog as the computer help desk technician of this office informed me, is:

"kinda like writing on the bathroom wall at your local mall….You get to see what other people think in, like a really short period of time. A blogger then is one who writes in a blog."

I assumed that this takes place usually while people are on the toilet.

"so a blog," he continued "becomes a long string of bathroom wall messages." This reporter asked if he knew of many bloggers that went to the bathroom while they left messages for each other, when the help desk technician seemed to look quizzically at the reporter, and said flatly:

"No." and walked out of my office.

This odd spike in these "drive by blog attacks" seem to be caused from the recent diminished poll numbers of Howard Dean which bought Wesley Clark as the Democratic Presidential candidate nationally within the margin of error at 20%. Howard Dean’s 24% still remains in possession of first place nationally, yet his numbers have dipped for the past 3 months. All calls to anonymous Dean bloggers were not returned.