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Reply #43: I agree with the first part [View All]

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PRETZEL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-22-11 09:37 AM
Response to Reply #29
43. I agree with the first part
disagree with the second though.

I totally agree that going to her first would be my start. She's the one having the affair. Letting her know that you and your wife also know that she's having the affair puts her on notice so to speak.

I don't agree that if she doesn't do something about it within a certain time frame then you're going to go to her husband.

Realistically, the strain on your friendship with her is already there. She's the one who's asked your wife to provide cover for her if the issue arises so both she and you know the story.

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  -Simple question: You have two married friends. One starts cheating. Do you tell the other? Xithras  Nov-21-11 02:04 PM   #0 
  - when they start doing these things they never think what a position they put their  rurallib   Nov-21-11 02:22 PM   #1 
  - It's not simple and don't be so sure about your friend...  Phentex   Nov-21-11 02:24 PM   #2 
  - I doubt that.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 02:48 PM   #6 
  - I would want to know.  dawg   Nov-21-11 02:27 PM   #3 
  - ugh  Kali   Nov-21-11 02:30 PM   #4 
  - No, I absolutely don't want to do that.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 02:56 PM   #8 
  - People don't really know the reality of a marriage unless they're in it  EFerrari   Nov-21-11 02:37 PM   #5 
  - if you're ok with losing both your friends. i mean it might still be worth it to you  La Lioness Priyanka   Nov-21-11 02:52 PM   #7 
  - The valient thing to do is inform your pal. That way you are still the pal.  RedCloud   Nov-21-11 02:57 PM   #9 
  - True, but...  Xithras   Nov-21-11 03:06 PM   #10 
     - When my wife was cheating on me...  RedCloud   Nov-21-11 03:39 PM   #18 
  - Just tell him you've heard some rumors.  dawg   Nov-21-11 03:08 PM   #11 
  - No WAY would I get up in that--in ANY way shape or form.  davsand   Nov-21-11 03:10 PM   #12 
  - That last bit would be pretty tough.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 03:46 PM   #20 
  - I called a friend at work and told her to go home immediately where the cheating was in progress.  AtomicKitten   Nov-21-11 03:10 PM   #13 
  - No, keep out of it.  elleng   Nov-21-11 03:12 PM   #14 
  - Ditto. n/t  RebelOne   Nov-21-11 03:29 PM   #16 
  - If you know FOR SURE....  BrendaBrick   Nov-21-11 03:23 PM   #15 
  - 0% doubt.. (cheaters shouldn't take cellphone photos).  Xithras   Nov-21-11 04:15 PM   #21 
     - I don't know much about pics and videos on phones but wouldn't the cheater see that your wife  seaglass   Nov-22-11 01:58 PM   #49 
  - Depends on whether they are both your friends, or just one is your friend.  jobycom   Nov-21-11 03:31 PM   #17 
  - I wouldn't call either my "best friend".  Xithras   Nov-21-11 04:27 PM   #22 
     - After reading the above explanation...  jobycom   Nov-21-11 06:18 PM   #34 
  - Yes.  Lance_Boyle   Nov-21-11 03:42 PM   #19 
  - that is a pretty sordid tale  suninvited   Nov-21-11 04:31 PM   #23 
  - Lol, yeah. I gave her a bit of a hard time about that. And I need to learn to summarize.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 04:48 PM   #27 
  - Yes. She's exposing him to diseases if nothing else, that isn't fair.  riderinthestorm   Nov-21-11 04:38 PM   #24 
  - No, it's their business  bigwillq   Nov-21-11 04:41 PM   #25 
  - I think the best approach is to talk her into telling him  Major Nikon   Nov-21-11 04:43 PM   #26 
  - I'm agreeing with this more and more.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 04:59 PM   #29 
     - I agree with the first part  PRETZEL   Nov-22-11 09:37 AM   #43 
  - Um...  City of Mills   Nov-21-11 04:55 PM   #28 
  - Does it bother you that your wife  Ptah   Nov-21-11 05:02 PM   #30 
  - Yes.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 05:16 PM   #31 
  - NO NO NO NO NO ! Been there, done that.  trof   Nov-21-11 05:30 PM   #32 
  - Butt out. It's really not your business, no matter how hard you try to justify it.  Bunny   Nov-21-11 05:42 PM   #33 
  - BAM! TRUE.  trof   Nov-21-11 06:42 PM   #35 
     - Thank YOU, trof!  Bunny   Nov-21-11 06:58 PM   #36 
  - Two questions. Friend is appropriate gender? Knows what revenge sex is? n/t  dimbear   Nov-21-11 07:07 PM   #37 
  - Do everybody a favor and stay out.  pa28   Nov-21-11 07:25 PM   #38 
  - How would you feel if you later found out the husband got AIDS?  DebJ   Nov-21-11 07:36 PM   #39 
  - I know right. I can't believe that's not even a consideration for so many on this thread.  riderinthestorm   Nov-21-11 07:44 PM   #41 
  - How would you feel if you later found out the husband got AIDS?  DebJ   Nov-21-11 07:36 PM   #40 
  - I did.  JNelson6563   Nov-22-11 08:28 AM   #42 
  - You have two married friends. One starts cheating.  snooper2   Nov-22-11 09:42 AM   #44 
  - Once the friend asked your wife to lie, she involved her in the affair.  VenusRising   Nov-22-11 10:35 AM   #45 
  - yep  Kali   Nov-22-11 01:40 PM   #46 
  - I print the photos as 8x10 glossys...  Chan790   Nov-22-11 01:51 PM   #47 
  - This, for me, is 'I'm outta here' territory: it's that never-never world where somebody  struggle4progress   Nov-22-11 01:57 PM   #48 

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