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Simple question: You have two married friends. One starts cheating. Do you tell the other? [View All]

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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-21-11 02:04 PM
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Simple question: You have two married friends. One starts cheating. Do you tell the other?
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This popped up last weekend and has me torn. I have two friends who have been married about 10 years and have two young daughters. My wife and I have been friends with them for about four years now. Without getting into the gory details, something happened this weekend that revealed that the wife is not only having a full-on sexual relationship with a guy who isn't her husband, but that it may have been going on for quite a while.

Would you tell the husband? I know him pretty well, and he's not the kind of guy who would be OK with this or look the other way, so I assume that he's in the dark about it.

If you were married and your spouse was cheating, would you want your friends to tell you if they found out?
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  -Simple question: You have two married friends. One starts cheating. Do you tell the other? Xithras  Nov-21-11 02:04 PM   #0 
  - when they start doing these things they never think what a position they put their  rurallib   Nov-21-11 02:22 PM   #1 
  - It's not simple and don't be so sure about your friend...  Phentex   Nov-21-11 02:24 PM   #2 
  - I doubt that.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 02:48 PM   #6 
  - I would want to know.  dawg   Nov-21-11 02:27 PM   #3 
  - ugh  Kali   Nov-21-11 02:30 PM   #4 
  - No, I absolutely don't want to do that.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 02:56 PM   #8 
  - People don't really know the reality of a marriage unless they're in it  EFerrari   Nov-21-11 02:37 PM   #5 
  - if you're ok with losing both your friends. i mean it might still be worth it to you  La Lioness Priyanka   Nov-21-11 02:52 PM   #7 
  - The valient thing to do is inform your pal. That way you are still the pal.  RedCloud   Nov-21-11 02:57 PM   #9 
  - True, but...  Xithras   Nov-21-11 03:06 PM   #10 
     - When my wife was cheating on me...  RedCloud   Nov-21-11 03:39 PM   #18 
  - Just tell him you've heard some rumors.  dawg   Nov-21-11 03:08 PM   #11 
  - No WAY would I get up in that--in ANY way shape or form.  davsand   Nov-21-11 03:10 PM   #12 
  - That last bit would be pretty tough.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 03:46 PM   #20 
  - I called a friend at work and told her to go home immediately where the cheating was in progress.  AtomicKitten   Nov-21-11 03:10 PM   #13 
  - No, keep out of it.  elleng   Nov-21-11 03:12 PM   #14 
  - Ditto. n/t  RebelOne   Nov-21-11 03:29 PM   #16 
  - If you know FOR SURE....  BrendaBrick   Nov-21-11 03:23 PM   #15 
  - 0% doubt.. (cheaters shouldn't take cellphone photos).  Xithras   Nov-21-11 04:15 PM   #21 
     - I don't know much about pics and videos on phones but wouldn't the cheater see that your wife  seaglass   Nov-22-11 01:58 PM   #49 
  - Depends on whether they are both your friends, or just one is your friend.  jobycom   Nov-21-11 03:31 PM   #17 
  - I wouldn't call either my "best friend".  Xithras   Nov-21-11 04:27 PM   #22 
     - After reading the above explanation...  jobycom   Nov-21-11 06:18 PM   #34 
  - Yes.  Lance_Boyle   Nov-21-11 03:42 PM   #19 
  - that is a pretty sordid tale  suninvited   Nov-21-11 04:31 PM   #23 
  - Lol, yeah. I gave her a bit of a hard time about that. And I need to learn to summarize.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 04:48 PM   #27 
  - Yes. She's exposing him to diseases if nothing else, that isn't fair.  riderinthestorm   Nov-21-11 04:38 PM   #24 
  - No, it's their business  bigwillq   Nov-21-11 04:41 PM   #25 
  - I think the best approach is to talk her into telling him  Major Nikon   Nov-21-11 04:43 PM   #26 
  - I'm agreeing with this more and more.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 04:59 PM   #29 
     - I agree with the first part  PRETZEL   Nov-22-11 09:37 AM   #43 
  - Um...  City of Mills   Nov-21-11 04:55 PM   #28 
  - Does it bother you that your wife  Ptah   Nov-21-11 05:02 PM   #30 
  - Yes.  Xithras   Nov-21-11 05:16 PM   #31 
  - NO NO NO NO NO ! Been there, done that.  trof   Nov-21-11 05:30 PM   #32 
  - Butt out. It's really not your business, no matter how hard you try to justify it.  Bunny   Nov-21-11 05:42 PM   #33 
  - BAM! TRUE.  trof   Nov-21-11 06:42 PM   #35 
     - Thank YOU, trof!  Bunny   Nov-21-11 06:58 PM   #36 
  - Two questions. Friend is appropriate gender? Knows what revenge sex is? n/t  dimbear   Nov-21-11 07:07 PM   #37 
  - Do everybody a favor and stay out.  pa28   Nov-21-11 07:25 PM   #38 
  - How would you feel if you later found out the husband got AIDS?  DebJ   Nov-21-11 07:36 PM   #39 
  - I know right. I can't believe that's not even a consideration for so many on this thread.  riderinthestorm   Nov-21-11 07:44 PM   #41 
  - How would you feel if you later found out the husband got AIDS?  DebJ   Nov-21-11 07:36 PM   #40 
  - I did.  JNelson6563   Nov-22-11 08:28 AM   #42 
  - You have two married friends. One starts cheating.  snooper2   Nov-22-11 09:42 AM   #44 
  - Once the friend asked your wife to lie, she involved her in the affair.  VenusRising   Nov-22-11 10:35 AM   #45 
  - yep  Kali   Nov-22-11 01:40 PM   #46 
  - I print the photos as 8x10 glossys...  Chan790   Nov-22-11 01:51 PM   #47 
  - This, for me, is 'I'm outta here' territory: it's that never-never world where somebody  struggle4progress   Nov-22-11 01:57 PM   #48 

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