You are viewing an obsolete version of the DU website which is no longer supported by the Administrators. Visit The New DU.
Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login

Reply #63: Well, thanks for the lecture on judging, but honestly, it's pretty condescending. [View All]

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-13-11 05:05 PM
Response to Reply #62
63. Well, thanks for the lecture on judging, but honestly, it's pretty condescending.
Blood isn't as relevant as past behavior in this case, and unless he repents and asks for contact, the OP is under absolutely no obligation to somehow prove to him that she's the bigger person, or whatever. If she wants to do that, fine. But it's a pretty low blow to try to guilt trip her into it by telling her that it's spirtual and if she can't figure that out, you can't explain it to her. That was really very patronizing.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
  -Would like opinions on this - personal family stuff kimi  Apr-11-11 03:30 AM   #0 
  - Wow  blueamy66   Apr-11-11 03:36 AM   #1 
  - There's no way to know  ChoralScholar   Apr-11-11 03:54 AM   #2 
  - As a purely abstract matter, I think I'd try to make the call: I'd figure  struggle4progress   Apr-11-11 04:00 AM   #3 
  - I'm really trying to find a reason to make the call  kimi   Apr-11-11 04:47 AM   #7 
  - I agree with this reasoning too  RT Atlanta   Apr-12-11 12:23 PM   #49 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   Apr-11-11 04:34 AM   #4 
  - "vengeful twit"?  kimi   Apr-11-11 04:42 AM   #5 
  - It's not an arguement about your humanity  Riftaxe   Apr-11-11 04:47 AM   #6 
  - "Increment of humanity"  kimi   Apr-11-11 04:51 AM   #8 
  - What a vile thing to say to you. (DUs ignore function is a godsend.)  snagglepuss   Apr-11-11 05:03 AM   #10 
  - What insufferable insensitivity. Welcome to ignore.  snagglepuss   Apr-11-11 05:05 AM   #11 
  - ya. people do have choices. ugly, or not. nt  seabeyond   Apr-11-11 06:13 AM   #14 
  - Actually, in an abusive family, "acknowledging existence" can cost a person quite a bit. Hearing a  Brickbat   Apr-11-11 07:08 AM   #17 
     - +1.  AngryOldDem   Apr-11-11 07:29 AM   #21 
  - I'm curious  Skittles   Apr-11-11 04:54 AM   #9 
  - Hope this helps you...  Ineeda   Apr-11-11 05:20 AM   #12 
  - I think this is good advice.  Brickbat   Apr-11-11 07:09 AM   #18 
  - excellent advice here..  gimama   Apr-13-11 08:14 PM   #68 
  - I think you already know what you're going to do  blogslut   Apr-11-11 05:35 AM   #13 
  - i don't know kimi.  seabeyond   Apr-11-11 06:18 AM   #15 
  - my life circumstances are different than yours  MrsBrady   Apr-11-11 06:22 AM   #16 
  - I totally agree with MrsBrady,  Grey   Apr-11-11 10:40 AM   #27 
  - YOUR #3 strategy saved my Life  gimama   Apr-13-11 08:30 PM   #69 
  - I would not go nor would I call...  Phentex   Apr-11-11 07:17 AM   #19 
  - I empathize completely.  AngryOldDem   Apr-11-11 07:27 AM   #20 
  - If there is to be any attempt at reconciliation, or even acknowledgement, it has to come from your  Bunny   Apr-11-11 07:39 AM   #22 
  - My 2 pennies  NV Whino   Apr-11-11 09:53 AM   #23 
  - didn't read replies yet but my gut  Kali   Apr-11-11 10:10 AM   #24 
  - You may not agree  Dyedinthewoolliberal   Apr-11-11 10:13 AM   #25 
  - I disagree.  kwassa   Apr-11-11 10:50 AM   #28 
  - that is what would be hard, and fake, which i dont do. say you care, and you dont  seabeyond   Apr-11-11 12:41 PM   #36 
  - There is a spiritual principle  Dyedinthewoolliberal   Apr-11-11 01:59 PM   #39 
  - No, there isn't , particularly if you can't explain it.  kwassa   Apr-12-11 08:56 PM   #50 
     - I didn't say that.  Dyedinthewoolliberal   Apr-13-11 12:50 PM   #60 
        - That *is* stepping back into abuse.  Bunny   Apr-13-11 01:09 PM   #61 
           - Judge not  Dyedinthewoolliberal   Apr-13-11 04:06 PM   #62 
              - Well, thanks for the lecture on judging, but honestly, it's pretty condescending.  Bunny   Apr-13-11 05:05 PM   #63 
                 - How is what I said a lecture?  Dyedinthewoolliberal   Apr-13-11 05:27 PM   #64 
                    - Not contacting her father is not punishment or vengence.  kwassa   Apr-13-11 09:52 PM   #74 
                       - Thank you for judging me  Dyedinthewoolliberal   Apr-13-11 10:43 PM   #75 
                          - you miss the point.  kwassa   Apr-13-11 11:07 PM   #76 
  - +1  distantearlywarning   Apr-13-11 07:56 PM   #66 
  - I disagree also.  AngryOldDem   Apr-11-11 12:40 PM   #35 
  - Since he just had a heart attack...  Dappleganger   Apr-13-11 09:44 PM   #73 
  - Walk away.  Dogtown   Apr-11-11 10:19 AM   #26 
  - I have to say I agree with Mrs Brady. He was NOT your father in the real sense of the meaning, so  madmom   Apr-11-11 10:59 AM   #29 
  - he objected to you having children?  grasswire   Apr-11-11 11:28 AM   #30 
  - What's the worst that will happen if you do call?  rug   Apr-11-11 12:02 PM   #31 
  - You don't owe him BUPKUS. But think about this...  PassingFair   Apr-11-11 12:04 PM   #32 
  - It sounds like you don't want to call him. I would go with your gut.  Arugula Latte   Apr-11-11 12:27 PM   #33 
  - I'm so sweet I give people diabetes if they're in the same room with me,  hedgehog   Apr-11-11 12:37 PM   #34 
  - That's very personal and individual  ismnotwasm   Apr-11-11 12:46 PM   #37 
  - I would not contact him.  rurallib   Apr-11-11 01:02 PM   #38 
  - Your well meaning SIL doesn't know the depth of your feelings.  Lars39   Apr-11-11 02:05 PM   #40 
  - If you haven't spoken to him in 25 years, I don't think you will regret it  Arkansas Granny   Apr-11-11 02:15 PM   #41 
  - I would go. Just show him you are the better and now stronger person.  RedCloud   Apr-11-11 02:35 PM   #42 
  - Thanks, everyone.  kimi   Apr-11-11 07:18 PM   #43 
  - "that sounds awful", no I don't think it's awful.  stuntcat   Apr-11-11 07:24 PM   #44 
  - Is there something you might want to put in writing and send to him?  surrealAmerican   Apr-11-11 07:56 PM   #45 
  - well, my experience, for what it's worth....  BlancheSplanchnik   Apr-11-11 08:03 PM   #46 
  - Go with your instinct. You don't owe him a damn thing.  Withywindle   Apr-12-11 12:03 AM   #47 
  - Write him.  burrfoot   Apr-12-11 12:27 AM   #48 
  - You have no regrets  Generic Brad   Apr-12-11 09:04 PM   #51 
  - Dear Kimi  Old Troop   Apr-12-11 09:14 PM   #52 
  - I can only say what I would do in your shoes.  Bertha Venation   Apr-12-11 10:15 PM   #53 
  - He does not deserve you calling him.  Odin2005   Apr-12-11 10:17 PM   #54 
  - Again, thanks, everyone, for your support.  kimi   Apr-12-11 11:30 PM   #55 
  - I have a serious illness, and I say don't call. I really empathize with you. This is very tough...  anneboleyn   Apr-13-11 01:52 AM   #56 
  - been there. don't call.  Duppers   Apr-13-11 02:02 AM   #57 
  - Will it harm your relationship with the rest of your family if you don't call  csziggy   Apr-13-11 02:03 AM   #58 
  - I've only seen my biological dad a couple times since he left my mom and me  deutsey   Apr-13-11 09:21 AM   #59 
  - Dear Kimi...I am so sorry...  Demoiselle   Apr-13-11 05:28 PM   #65 
  - You will not regret it.....  Tikki   Apr-13-11 08:06 PM   #67 
  - Kimi, maybe it would be easier to think of this as between you and your other family members.  nolabear   Apr-13-11 09:03 PM   #70 
  - OK. My dad died in December. I had always been in touch with him  Flaxbee   Apr-13-11 09:26 PM   #71 
  - Hope this helps...  Dappleganger   Apr-13-11 09:41 PM   #72 

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators

Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC