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Reply #43: The ex-girlfirend. Wants to be forgiven. Wants me back. [View All]

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EnviroBat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-11 11:56 AM
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43. The ex-girlfirend. Wants to be forgiven. Wants me back.
Knows that I'm happy with someone else now. She is living a miserable, lonely, pathetic existence after completely fucking me over last summer. Every couple of months, I'm getting emails telling me that she made a terrible mistake, and she still "loves" me, and we are soul-mates. Yet, she never seems to be able to apologize directly to my face. I find it very difficult to "forgive" her for what she did to me. As more time goes by, I'm not sure how much I even care anymore...
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  -Do you forgive people who f*** you over and don't come within a mile of remorse or an apology? Amerigo Vespucci  Feb-13-11 06:02 PM   #0 
  - i have an odd place with forgiveness. people do things for all kinds of reason.  seabeyond   Feb-13-11 06:14 PM   #1 
  - Very interesting...I forget sometimes how our emotions are "permission-based"...  Amerigo Vespucci   Feb-13-11 06:20 PM   #2 
  - Depends on what they did. Not all "damage can be repaired." nt  Haole Girl   Feb-13-11 06:23 PM   #3 
  - And I guess there's an additional layer to this as well that I hadn't considered...  Amerigo Vespucci   Feb-13-11 06:30 PM   #4 
  - This forgiveness quote was...  rbnyc   Feb-13-11 07:01 PM   #5 
  - I hold grudges.  Kali   Feb-13-11 07:25 PM   #6 
  - I consider holding grudges to mean that you made a wise choice.  Lisa0825   Feb-13-11 07:54 PM   #10 
  - As was once said  hobbit709   Feb-13-11 10:09 PM   #22 
  - I rarely hold grudges  Mojorabbit   Feb-14-11 12:34 AM   #26 
  - I'm not convinced that people who do things "intentionally" are ever fully remorseful  Amerigo Vespucci   Feb-14-11 12:16 PM   #45 
  - I don't spend one second thinking about them.  cbdo2007   Feb-13-11 07:31 PM   #7 
  - As a general rule, no  bluestateguy   Feb-13-11 07:33 PM   #8 
  - Sometimes forgiveness comes easily, but more often it's extremely difficult  solara   Feb-13-11 07:36 PM   #9 
  - Forgiveness is what you do for yourself  prolesunited   Feb-13-11 07:59 PM   #11 
  - I was telling a friend that yesterday...  Amerigo Vespucci   Feb-13-11 08:12 PM   #14 
  - Forgiving is good for your own peace of mind.  Swede   Feb-13-11 08:03 PM   #12 
  - "The acid of hate destroys the container"  Patiod   Feb-14-11 10:57 AM   #41 
  - Of course. If they show remorse or offer an apology, there's little need for forgiveness.  Rabrrrrrr   Feb-13-11 08:07 PM   #13 
  - I've never been one to hold a grudge...  one_voice   Feb-13-11 08:19 PM   #15 
  - Sure why not.  RandomThoughts   Feb-13-11 08:20 PM   #16 
  - You do exactly what works best for you.  Demoiselle   Feb-13-11 08:29 PM   #17 
  - i have, and can attest it's a stupid idea. if people don't show remorse  La Lioness Priyanka   Feb-13-11 08:37 PM   #18 
  - That's absolutely true, and the challenge is...  Amerigo Vespucci   Feb-14-11 08:59 AM   #37 
  - It depends. I forgave my ex who abused me and he wasn't remorseful  cali   Feb-13-11 08:41 PM   #19 
  - No, but it really depends on what you mean by "forgiveness"  WildEyedLiberal   Feb-13-11 09:15 PM   #20 
  - I used to do that,  Blue_In_AK   Feb-13-11 10:05 PM   #21 
  - I'm usually very forgiving because I'm generally a happy person. I get angrier when  pacalo   Feb-13-11 11:47 PM   #23 
  - Sort of.  Kat45   Feb-14-11 12:00 AM   #24 
  - eventually. sometimes it takes me awhile. but i usually don't forget  orleans   Feb-14-11 12:20 AM   #25 
  - "If a man is crossing a river and an empty boat collides with his own skiff, even though he be  struggle4progress   Feb-14-11 03:24 AM   #27 
  - I remember a similar thought, expressed far less eloquently...  Amerigo Vespucci   Feb-14-11 07:52 AM   #29 
  - Other- I try not to waste time thinking about them, but I don't forgive  old mark   Feb-14-11 04:23 AM   #28 
  - Forgiveness is earned. Those without empathy don't deserve it.  BlueIris   Feb-14-11 07:57 AM   #30 
  - +1  WildEyedLiberal   Feb-14-11 11:51 AM   #42 
  - it depends on whether i have to see them around.  mopinko   Feb-14-11 08:16 AM   #31 
  - I once asked a good friend / mentor (and former boss)...  Amerigo Vespucci   Feb-14-11 08:50 AM   #36 
  - Sometimes.  Orsino   Feb-14-11 08:22 AM   #32 
  - The first one for me  Crystal Clarity   Feb-14-11 08:24 AM   #33 
  - If you forgive somebody, it doesn't mean you have to let them back in your life.  raccoon   Feb-14-11 08:39 AM   #34 
  - No. That is, I don't generally lower myself to their level to get revenge...  LeftishBrit   Feb-14-11 08:50 AM   #35 
  - It seems like "forgive" can mean many things  Amerigo Vespucci   Feb-14-11 09:03 AM   #39 
  - wow.  Tuesday Afternoon   Feb-14-11 09:02 AM   #38 
  - No forgiveness (apology or not ) if it is something truly heinous.... nt  Blasphemer   Feb-14-11 10:54 AM   #40 
  - The ex-girlfirend. Wants to be forgiven. Wants me back.  EnviroBat   Feb-14-11 11:56 AM   #43 
  - Had an ex-girlfriend who, near the end of our relationship...  Amerigo Vespucci   Feb-14-11 12:10 PM   #44 
     - Yeah, mine up and went running back to her waste-of-life ex-husband,  EnviroBat   Feb-14-11 02:07 PM   #47 
  - Everyone holds grudges.  Lucian   Feb-14-11 12:22 PM   #46 
  - Forgive, yes; but if I've rescinded my trust, they'll have to work very hard  GoddessOfGuinness   Feb-14-11 02:22 PM   #48 
  - Where is the "Hell No" option here? n/t  InvisibleTouch   Feb-14-11 02:27 PM   #49 
  - Aw hell no. It's off to DTM'sville with those emmer-effers.  Iggo   Feb-14-11 02:32 PM   #50 
  - If I get an apology I fogive and if not I just let it go but I never forget  lunatica   Feb-14-11 04:06 PM   #51 
  - Why are you asking me about my family?  Bucky   Feb-14-11 04:35 PM   #52 
  - I'd rather forgive  TuxedoKat   Feb-14-11 05:17 PM   #53 
  - I have a nuanced answer.  Moondog   Feb-14-11 05:21 PM   #54 
  - This sounds terrible but I tend to live by  TNLib   Feb-14-11 06:24 PM   #55 
  - Hell no.  BreweryYardRat   Feb-14-11 06:48 PM   #56 
  - Forgiveness isn't about what the offender deserves.  SOteric   Feb-14-11 08:40 PM   #57 
  - Thank you, O Awesome One! These threads on forgiveness forever chap my ass  Rabrrrrrr   Feb-14-11 09:30 PM   #59 
     - + 1000 and throw in a brazillion for good measure  Tuesday Afternoon   Feb-14-11 11:13 PM   #61 
     - Sorry to hear about your ass-chapping  SOteric   Feb-15-11 11:43 PM   #69 
  - They need forgiveness more than I need an apology  Old Troop   Feb-14-11 09:18 PM   #58 
  - Okay, fine, I'll SAY it: I'm sorry.  Common Sense Party   Feb-14-11 11:08 PM   #60 
  - Emotional bank account...the individual bankrupted it.  fortyfeetunder   Feb-14-11 11:30 PM   #62 
  - forgive  dd2003   Feb-15-11 12:01 AM   #63 
  - I do not trust easily, or often,  darkstar3   Feb-15-11 12:29 AM   #64 
  - That ass you are kicking today may be one you gotta kiss tomorrow.  davsand   Feb-15-11 01:00 PM   #65 
  - No I carry a grudge forever.  ellenrr   Feb-15-11 03:20 PM   #66 
  - Still waiting for ex-wifey to  cheneyschernobyl   Feb-15-11 08:49 PM   #67 
  - The problem with not forgiving is that it digs a hole in your own heart.  grahamhgreen   Feb-15-11 08:53 PM   #68 
  - Bad people are like defective furniture  quakerboy   Feb-16-11 01:03 AM   #70 
  - I read this on another forum, and it was very helpful to me:  raccoon   Feb-16-11 08:45 AM   #71 
  - I'm Sicilian-Irish. What do you think? :-)  WinkyDink   Feb-16-11 02:15 PM   #72 

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