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Reply #66: 1. Leave. 2. Get support and help. 3. Never, never let anyone treat you badly. [View All]

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nolabear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-18-10 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #13
66. 1. Leave. 2. Get support and help. 3. Never, never let anyone treat you badly.
Look, this is personal and not professional advice, but I am a professional. You're an adult and can choose whatever you want, but ask yourself this: When I imagine the most precious, valuable person in my life, a person with dignity and purpose and the possibility of having a wonderful life and being a force for good in the world, would I want her to be endangered, injured and demeaned by someone? If you cannot see yourself as that person, then there's a part of you that needs help to do so. I don't care if he craps gold, he has the capacity to harm your body and your spirit and a willingness to do it, and you do NOT deserve that kind of treatment. Hopefully he'll wake up himself but doing that is NOT YOUR JOB.
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  -Okay, so my drunk fiance smacked me a good one tonite... blueamy66  Sep-17-10 10:29 PM   #0 
  - Keep packing and leave.  flvegan   Sep-17-10 10:31 PM   #1 
  - +1  chrisa   Sep-18-10 10:38 PM   #79 
  - Here's what I know . . .  Lex   Sep-17-10 10:35 PM   #2 
  - Really? And he's still your fiance?  Flaxbee   Sep-17-10 10:36 PM   #3 
  - He's never behaved like this...ever...  blueamy66   Sep-17-10 10:48 PM   #4 
  - Sounds to me as though he has a problem with alcohol.  CaliforniaPeggy   Sep-17-10 10:51 PM   #5 
  - Spot-on, Peggy. Sounds like he is a reactionary, mean drunk.  A HERETIC I AM   Sep-17-10 11:24 PM   #16 
  - Yes you do. Harsh answer. But it is the truth from an unbiased person  Shell Beau   Sep-17-10 11:00 PM   #8 
  - If he's blaming you for the fact that he hit you, that's a true sign of an abuser.  Aristus   Sep-17-10 11:01 PM   #9 
  - +1  MorningGlow   Sep-18-10 10:13 AM   #48 
  - Drop him like the sack of shit he showed himself to be.  Common Sense Party   Sep-18-10 12:08 AM   #17 
  - It WILL happen again  MajorChode   Sep-18-10 08:00 AM   #41 
  - Reread your own post carefully.  Brickbat   Sep-18-10 10:27 AM   #50 
  - Did you try to convince him not to drive?  Kaleva   Sep-17-10 10:55 PM   #6 
  - Get out while the getting is good.  Shell Beau   Sep-17-10 10:57 PM   #7 
  - everything in this post from drunk driving, to grabbing wheel to him hitting you and coming after  seabeyond   Sep-17-10 11:05 PM   #10 
  - Please get out.  LiberalAndProud   Sep-17-10 11:08 PM   #11 
  - This time it's a bruise, next time  auntAgonist   Sep-17-10 11:11 PM   #12 
  - Advice...  Dystopian   Sep-17-10 11:12 PM   #13 
  - Thank you.  blueamy66   Sep-18-10 06:07 AM   #35 
  - honey, you will never bring him up -- but he will surely drag you down  elehhhhna   Sep-19-10 12:15 PM   #94 
  - 1. Leave. 2. Get support and help. 3. Never, never let anyone treat you badly.  nolabear   Sep-18-10 03:44 PM   #66 
  - driving while drunk?  grasswire   Sep-17-10 11:22 PM   #14 
  - don't be stupid  Kali   Sep-17-10 11:23 PM   #15 
  - wow get safe then aa or alanon (from someone who did similar stupid when young)  pitohui   Sep-18-10 12:17 AM   #18 
  - Excellent advice.  Kaleva   Sep-18-10 12:24 AM   #20 
  - thx for the reality check  blueamy66   Sep-18-10 06:05 AM   #34 
  - Money????  blueamy66   Sep-18-10 06:10 AM   #36 
     - He's not a good guy.  Brickbat   Sep-18-10 10:30 AM   #51 
  - Your fiance is less than a man.  cherokeeprogressive   Sep-18-10 12:23 AM   #19 
  - Good On You!  Biker13   Sep-18-10 06:34 PM   #74 
  - This guy says DUMP HIS ASS!  Odin2005   Sep-18-10 12:39 AM   #21 
  - hitting while drunk is still hitting  CreekDog   Sep-18-10 12:44 AM   #22 
  - Blueamy  OmahaBlueDog   Sep-18-10 12:47 AM   #23 
  - Get the fuck outta dodge and don't look back...  Jamastiene   Sep-18-10 12:51 AM   #24 
  - What would you tell a good friend who came to you and asked this?  Starry Messenger   Sep-18-10 12:52 AM   #25 
  - I was where you are 17 years ago, I didn't leave him, I married him...  mcctatas   Sep-18-10 02:51 AM   #26 
  - Leave him before he kills you....nt  old mark   Sep-18-10 03:30 AM   #27 
  - Get the fuck out  Sweet Charming Dem   Sep-18-10 03:47 AM   #28 
  - What the hell was he drinkin' ?  Inchworm   Sep-18-10 04:22 AM   #29 
  - I'm sorry that happened. But why would you even allow him to drive if he was drunk?  Drunken Irishman   Sep-18-10 04:34 AM   #30 
  - And this coming from a professional drunk who NEVER drives drunk.  Drunken Irishman   Sep-18-10 04:35 AM   #31 
  - You're Blaming The Victim. Piss Off. (n/t)  Paladin   Sep-18-10 02:38 PM   #64 
     - Piss off yourself.  Drunken Irishman   Sep-18-10 06:16 PM   #71 
  - First off: Leave.  proteus_lives   Sep-18-10 04:52 AM   #32 
  - Yes, I was drunk  blueamy66   Sep-18-10 06:16 AM   #37 
     - Well, then leave.  proteus_lives   Sep-18-10 11:36 AM   #54 
     - +1. nt  seabeyond   Sep-18-10 02:10 PM   #62 
     - IMO you were driving drunk, too, then. You grabbed the steering wheel while you were drunk.  DevonRex   Sep-19-10 04:23 PM   #97 
     - Agreed a thousand percent plus  underseasurveyor   Sep-19-10 07:06 PM   #102 
     - by not thinking highly enough of yourself  TorchTheWitch   Sep-19-10 05:03 PM   #99 
  - Thanks to all of your replies.  blueamy66   Sep-18-10 06:02 AM   #33 
  - Have him read this thread, then examine how he reacts...  MrMickeysMom   Sep-18-10 11:10 PM   #84 
  - Run, run like the wind.  sarge43   Sep-18-10 06:31 AM   #38 
  - Leave now, leave forever.  BlueIris   Sep-18-10 06:36 AM   #39 
  - Do what it takes to extricate yourself from this relationship  LaurenG   Sep-18-10 06:39 AM   #40 
  - Don't usually give advice  Monique1   Sep-18-10 08:51 AM   #42 
  - wtf...driving drunk and you allowed it?  Maine-ah   Sep-18-10 08:57 AM   #43 
  - Wait, wait, wait....  peacefreak   Sep-18-10 08:58 AM   #44 
  - I forgot your last sentence in your thread  Monique1   Sep-18-10 09:12 AM   #46 
  - and if she's paying his way now  musette_sf   Sep-18-10 08:49 PM   #75 
  - I just want to thank everyone for their responses...  blueamy66   Sep-18-10 09:09 AM   #45 
  - People who are coming across as harsh or mean  Pool Hall Ace   Sep-19-10 10:17 AM   #85 
  - No advice. It's clear you know what you must do  Generic Brad   Sep-18-10 09:16 AM   #47 
  - Get out now.  Brickbat   Sep-18-10 10:24 AM   #49 
  - Leave him  m00nbeam   Sep-18-10 10:44 AM   #52 
  - This is how all abusive behavior begins. With one smack  lunatica   Sep-18-10 11:31 AM   #53 
  - Sounds like a shortened version of my first marriage.  zanana1   Sep-18-10 11:43 AM   #55 
  - Leave. Now. If you put it down to just being drunk then you're choosing to overlook  Solly Mack   Sep-18-10 11:46 AM   #56 
  - Leave and  frogmarch   Sep-18-10 12:06 PM   #57 
  - You're lucky to be alive...twice over.  Iggo   Sep-18-10 12:07 PM   #58 
  - Run, don't walk. n/t  TroglodyteScholar   Sep-18-10 12:23 PM   #59 
  - As Dan Savage would say - DTMFA  GoneOffShore   Sep-18-10 12:35 PM   #60 
  - (((blueamy66)))  Callalily   Sep-18-10 01:46 PM   #61 
  - Cut Your Losses And Leave Him Immediately. No Second Chances. (n/t)  Paladin   Sep-18-10 02:32 PM   #63 
  - Don't get in the car with someone driving drunk.  LisaL   Sep-18-10 03:08 PM   #65 
  - yeah, don't do that again either (n/t)  Iggo   Sep-18-10 04:20 PM   #68 
  - LEAVE!! and don't look back.  mzteris   Sep-18-10 03:49 PM   #67 
  - Your drunk fiance? Oh my gosh.  Pool Hall Ace   Sep-18-10 04:36 PM   #69 
  - emotional abuse is abuse  grasswire   Sep-18-10 10:49 PM   #82 
     - I do not have any family who can take me in.  Pool Hall Ace   Sep-19-10 10:20 AM   #86 
        - once again, a womens shelter is a huge source of help  grasswire   Sep-19-10 10:41 AM   #88 
  - How are you doing today, blueamy66?  foxfeet   Sep-18-10 05:00 PM   #70 
  - I'm okay  blueamy66   Sep-19-10 05:52 PM   #100 
     - Good luck with the therapy.  LiberalAndProud   Sep-19-10 06:30 PM   #101 
  - and change your locks on the house..  GreatCaesarsGhost   Sep-18-10 06:28 PM   #72 
  - Very sad and disturbing post.  cwydro   Sep-18-10 06:33 PM   #73 
  - I hope you're okay.  Ilsa   Sep-18-10 09:07 PM   #76 
  - 1. Listen carefully to everybody who complained about allowing a drinker behind the wheel  struggle4progress   Sep-18-10 09:25 PM   #77 
  - my brother and his wife were drinkers. you could see them revin' up the dance  seabeyond   Sep-18-10 10:18 PM   #78 
  - It'll hurt like hell  laundry_queen   Sep-18-10 10:41 PM   #80 
  - Go to the hotel and keep moving on from there. Sounds like he was drunk driving too. This is a bad  applegrove   Sep-18-10 10:45 PM   #81 
  - If you are afraid to leave him, you can take refuge at a womens shelter for victims...  grasswire   Sep-18-10 10:52 PM   #83 
  - I think you know what you have to do.  The Velveteen Ocelot   Sep-19-10 10:24 AM   #87 
  - Get away from him.  TheManInTheMac   Sep-19-10 11:10 AM   #89 
  - Get out. Get out. Get out.  Dora   Sep-19-10 11:30 AM   #90 
  - Driving drunk and hitting people - not good traits  stray cat   Sep-19-10 11:36 AM   #91 
  - He was drunk and driving and you were a drunk passenger.  underseasurveyor   Sep-19-10 11:44 AM   #92 
  - Honestly, you both need help. Apart.  DevonRex   Sep-19-10 11:57 AM   #93 
  - from now on, when you meet a man, or even a new female friend,  elehhhhna   Sep-19-10 12:18 PM   #95 
  - Please let us know what you do. We really do care here.  rurallib   Sep-19-10 03:33 PM   #96 
  - If this was truly out of context, then stand firm and make him fix what he did wrong.  Bucky   Sep-19-10 04:42 PM   #98 

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