Reply #120: People change

[dendrobium]

So many people say they would never cheat. I expect that when you make those vows, cheating is unthinkable. But twenty years later things might be so different. So many people are dying of loneliness in their marriages but are unable to leave, usually because of money and the children. Combine that loneliness with meeting someone who absolutely bowls you over and then suddenly, the unthinkable is not so unthinkable anymore.

It is easy to say that you should leave the marriage first before moving on. But that can be extremely difficult when you really have no life outside your marriage. This is not a justification for bad behaviour. But it is impossible to know how unhappy people in seemingly perfect marriages can be. And that unhappiness can reach the point where any sliver of joy will be grasped because it helps you to make it through another day.