Reply #18: Sorry for you bad experiences...

[elfwitch]

I don't know if this will make you feel any better or not but here goes...

My hubby was not my first experiment in relationships. I lived with a boyfriend for five years. The firs two years were great. The last three were not. My self-esteem was ruined by this guy. I was sick all the time. I was on anti-depressants for 2 years. All in all it was bad for me. After that experience I pretty much vowed that I would only USE men for my own selfish desires. I would trade sex for nice stuff (dinners, trips, concert tickets, etc.). Yes, I decided to become sort of a whore. I didn't want to have to deal with a man ever living in my house again. I figured there were plenty of men that I knew for many years that would be willing to get in to this kind of arrangement with me. Hell, I dated my best friend from college for about 6 months after I left the 5 year guy. I didn't LOVE my best friend and I don't think he LOVED me. I wanted nice stuff. He wanted sex. It worked okay for a little while.

I honestly don't think that anyone should even consider marriage before the age of 25. You don't even know who you are before that. You cannot be expected to be you with somebody else.

Keep the faith. I sincerely believe that there is a missing part to each of us in the universe and that when you find that part, you will know. Until then, have fun. It is entirely possible that you and your other part will never hook up. When that happens, it is sad because I know what it is like to be with that one person who is your missing piece.