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Reply #122: Very true! [View All]

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Pool Hall Ace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-12-10 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #104
122. Very true!
If the OP doesn't want kids, then he needs to level with the girlfriend.

I decided at the age of six that I did not want children. When I married at age 42, I thought that my husband felt the same way about kids as I do. However, he is more generous with his three employees, who he says lacked a "father figure" than he is with me! He has paid auto insurance, rent, and even child support for them! If I had known he had this secret desire to be a dad, he would have been in the discard pile long ago.

If the OP is not already sold on the idea of having kids, he shouldn't do it. It is truly a crap shoot; there is no guarantee that they will love you forever, or that they will someday make you proud. I would be willing to hedge a bet that most people who do regret having children keep it to themselves.

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  -Sell me on having kids Jack_Dawson  Jan-09-10 04:37 PM   #0 
  - I don't know about that  AwakeAtLast   Jan-09-10 04:44 PM   #1 
  - Thanks...every little bit helps n/t  Jack_Dawson   Jan-09-10 04:46 PM   #2 
     - "all my arguments w/ my younger gf will be solved."  Common Sense Party   Jan-11-10 11:19 AM   #91 
  - Sell me on having kids  MiddleFingerMom   Jan-09-10 04:53 PM   #3 
  - You want to buy kids?  MrScorpio   Jan-09-10 04:54 PM   #4 
  - It isn't for the faint hearted.  redwitch   Jan-09-10 05:03 PM   #5 
  - I'm going to bookmark this...thx  Jack_Dawson   Jan-09-10 05:26 PM   #10 
  - what she said... very well said, I might add  tigereye   Jan-09-10 09:01 PM   #28 
  - Redwitch's advice is the best you have received so far  mochajava666   Jan-11-10 01:05 PM   #95 
  - Go to dinner at Chuck E. Cheese on any Saturday night  jmowreader   Jan-09-10 05:09 PM   #6 
  - Teach Jr. High for a few years.  zanana1   Jan-09-10 05:24 PM   #8 
  - If you have to be "sold" on the idea, it probably isn't right for you.  femmocrat   Jan-09-10 05:20 PM   # 
  - Very insightful...thx n/t  Jack_Dawson   Jan-09-10 05:25 PM   #9 
     - I had to drag hubby kicking and screaming into fatherhood. It wasn't that he  GreenPartyVoter   Jan-09-10 07:19 PM   #24 
  - Forcing something on someone is not a wise path  REP   Jan-09-10 05:20 PM   #7 
  - The first year is hell. The second year merely sucks. After that it starts to be pretty fun.  LeftyMom   Jan-09-10 05:48 PM   #11 
  - I agree- the time at 3 am with the dryer running was horrid  underpants   Jan-09-10 06:12 PM   #14 
  - yup, not fun when the only thing that will stop colicky wailing is a trip in  tigereye   Jan-09-10 09:05 PM   #31 
  - good assessment  tigereye   Jan-09-10 09:04 PM   #30 
  - I didn't find it that way at all.  janx   Jan-09-10 09:07 PM   #32 
     - Mine had colic, didn't sleep much at all, and started running and climbing at seven months.  LeftyMom   Jan-09-10 09:25 PM   #35 
        - I had one of those.  rebel with a cause   Jan-09-10 11:13 PM   #55 
        - My daughter just turned two months..  snooper2   Jan-11-10 01:57 PM   #97 
  - nope  Fleshdancer   Jan-09-10 05:50 PM   #12 
  - i agree, if you need to be sold, it may not be for you.  caitxrawks   Jan-09-10 05:59 PM   #13 
  - I decided about 10 years ago  Terra Alta   Jan-09-10 06:16 PM   #15 
  - very interesting. Did at any time you think you shoulda wants kids or anything?  Jack_Dawson   Jan-09-10 06:22 PM   #16 
  - there have been moments  Terra Alta   Jan-09-10 06:33 PM   #20 
     - that was the parent's fault - not the childs!  mzteris   Jan-10-10 11:02 AM   #67 
  - Get a puppy dog!  EndersDame   Jan-09-10 07:18 PM   #23 
  - I really love dogs, but  Terra Alta   Jan-09-10 09:48 PM   #36 
     - I much prefer cats as well ! But yeah I probably wont get anothr puppy  EndersDame   Jan-09-10 09:52 PM   #37 
  - I decided that I didn't want kids as early at 16..  HipChick   Jan-09-10 07:21 PM   #25 
  - I always wanted children and did not think twice about having two.  rebel with a cause   Jan-09-10 11:06 PM   #51 
  - i highly don't recommend it.  mopinko   Jan-09-10 06:24 PM   #17 
  - Please don't  Haole Girl   Jan-09-10 06:32 PM   #18 
  - Are you prepared to be somewhat alone in your elderly years?  oregonjen   Jan-09-10 06:32 PM   #19 
  - Kids are no guarantee you won't be alone.  iris27   Jan-09-10 07:08 PM   #21 
     - Of course there is no guarantee  oregonjen   Jan-09-10 07:23 PM   #26 
  - If you have to be sold on it, you probably don't want it. n/t  janx   Jan-09-10 07:12 PM   #22 
  - .  mopinko   Jan-09-10 07:41 PM   #27 
  - The 5 minutes spent making them is fun.  Kaleva   Jan-09-10 09:03 PM   #29 
  - 5 MINUTES!?!?!?!?!?  MiddleFingerMom   Jan-09-10 09:56 PM   #40 
  - Imagine falling in love with a baby who will always love you. You will laugh your  applegrove   Jan-09-10 09:08 PM   #33 
  - you got lucky  TrogL   Jan-09-10 10:56 PM   #48 
  - So sorry you have it so rough. No I don't have kids but I've known a few  applegrove   Jan-09-10 11:08 PM   #52 
     - Upon reflection this is a little too optimistic. My childhood wasn't that good as a teen. For  applegrove   Jan-10-10 10:02 PM   #77 
  - Wait.... kids do this????  MissMillie   Jan-11-10 02:13 PM   #98 
  - So, you don't have children but "imagine" this is what it's like??  REP   Jan-12-10 05:46 PM   #119 
  - sometimes folks have kids because one partner wants them and the other  tigereye   Jan-09-10 09:11 PM   #34 
  - This is why I became a dad  kwassa   Jan-09-10 09:55 PM   #38 
  - Cute girl!  Jack_Dawson   Jan-09-10 10:06 PM   #41 
  - I was 55  kwassa   Jan-09-10 10:40 PM   #43 
     - She is gorgeous!  redwitch   Jan-09-10 10:53 PM   #46 
     - thank you!  kwassa   Jan-09-10 10:58 PM   #49 
     - What a doll baby!  BuelahWitch   Jan-09-10 11:41 PM   #58 
     - thank you!  kwassa   Jan-09-10 11:53 PM   #59 
     - You don't decide that. First Jesus does. And if he screws up, the in vitro doctor does.  valerief   Jan-10-10 12:18 AM   #61 
  - That is a 'living doll' (as they use to say about beautiful children)  rebel with a cause   Jan-09-10 11:10 PM   #53 
  - thank you!  kwassa   Jan-09-10 11:37 PM   #57 
  - OMG! She is BEAUTIFUL!  mzteris   Jan-10-10 11:07 AM   #69 
  - 2 years 10 months  kwassa   Jan-10-10 10:47 PM   #79 
  - What a beautiful child!  Withywindle   Jan-11-10 01:31 AM   #84 
  - Don't  TrogL   Jan-09-10 09:55 PM   #39 
  - +1 n/t  DevinKline   Jan-10-10 11:42 PM   #81 
  - Have the Surf-n-Turf instead  Orrex   Jan-09-10 10:18 PM   #42 
  - They are cute little brats!  Odin2005   Jan-09-10 10:48 PM   #44 
  - why are you arguing about kids with a girlfriend? is this because you plan on marrying her?  dugaresa   Jan-09-10 10:51 PM   #45 
  - I think my husband agreed to have kids because I wanted them...  ccinamon   Jan-09-10 10:54 PM   #47 
  - Kids are human beings not cars.. This is what is the result of some one who is not committed  EndersDame   Jan-09-10 11:06 PM   #50 
  - The fact that she's younger  lizziegrace   Jan-09-10 11:12 PM   #54 
  - the fact he always has to let duers know she is younger  seabeyond   Jan-10-10 09:46 AM   #63 
  - Just happened upon this. Seemed appropriate.  redwitch   Jan-09-10 11:29 PM   #56 
  - Read another way  lukasahero   Jan-10-10 09:50 AM   #65 
  - You want peer pressure to determine whether you have kids?  Starbucks Anarchist   Jan-10-10 12:12 AM   #60 
  - lol  La Lioness Priyanka   Jan-10-10 11:45 AM   #74 
  - If you need selling, it's not for you. Kids WILL change your life.  mnhtnbb   Jan-10-10 09:43 AM   #62 
  - They add a dimension to your life that is inexplicable  Capn Sunshine   Jan-10-10 09:49 AM   #64 
  - Can't Do It- Why Not Adopt?  we can do it   Jan-10-10 09:56 AM   #66 
  - If you are not enthused about the idea ... don't do it. n/t  Hepburn   Jan-10-10 11:06 AM   #68 
  - how old are you?  mzteris   Jan-10-10 11:19 AM   #70 
  - I have known since I *was* a child that I didn't want any of my own.  distantearlywarning   Jan-10-10 11:25 AM   #71 
  - god, you really shouldnt have kids. the very idea is quite frightening.  La Lioness Priyanka   Jan-10-10 11:30 AM   #72 
  - god, you really shouldnt have kids. the very idea is quite frightening.  La Lioness Priyanka   Jan-10-10 11:30 AM   #73 
  - If you have to be sold ..don't!  madmom   Jan-10-10 12:30 PM   #75 
  - Act now and Save! for just two EZ Payments of $19.99 (+S&H)...  EndersDame   Jan-10-10 12:46 PM   #76 
  - but wait there is more!! if you act right now  dembotoz   Jan-12-10 12:28 PM   #111 
  - If you have to ask, don't do it.  bif   Jan-10-10 10:08 PM   #78 
  - Nope. If you have to be persuaded to want children, you should NOT have them.  Common Sense Party   Jan-10-10 11:26 PM   #80 
  - absolutely  enigmatic   Jan-11-10 01:04 AM   #83 
  - Parenting, nothing more challenging, nothing more rewarding.  jotsy   Jan-11-10 12:57 AM   #82 
  - What most other people here have said.  Withywindle   Jan-11-10 01:37 AM   #85 
  - Yes, be HONEST with her  rebecca_herman   Jan-12-10 05:20 AM   #110 
  - Well, you're going to need SOMEBODY to mow your lawn when you get old...  krispos42   Jan-11-10 01:58 AM   #86 
  - The only good reason to have kids is because you really want to have kids  struggle4progress   Jan-11-10 02:01 AM   #87 
  - You will become a different person with kids, so it doesn't really matter what YOU think of it.  jobycom   Jan-11-10 02:58 AM   #88 
  - Well said.  Common Sense Party   Jan-11-10 11:17 AM   #90 
  - Do you in fact want it?  Deep13   Jan-11-10 08:27 AM   #89 
  - Don't do it.  Wapsie B   Jan-11-10 11:19 AM   #92 
  - To me, no other life experience compares.  Arugula Latte   Jan-11-10 11:21 AM   #93 
  - You have to be want to be into the idea otherwise you will end up resenting them.  Jennicut   Jan-11-10 12:40 PM   #94 
  - Here's a good reason  snooper2   Jan-11-10 01:52 PM   #96 
  - what a cutie. . .  mzteris   Jan-11-10 04:38 PM   #99 
  - bee u tee full. i love  seabeyond   Jan-11-10 05:18 PM   #101 
  - sorry. can't.  stuntcat   Jan-11-10 04:44 PM   #100 
  - +1,000,000,000  nomorenomore08   Jan-11-10 06:07 PM   #102 
  - They are really cute. They love you unconditionally when little.  treestar   Jan-11-10 07:38 PM   #103 
  - there's truly no upside to having kids  pitohui   Jan-11-10 09:20 PM   #104 
  - Thank you for not procreating. n/t  Common Sense Party   Jan-12-10 02:38 AM   #107 
  - Very true!  Pool Hall Ace   Jan-12-10 07:27 PM   #122 
  - Sell me as to why I would try.  Robeson   Jan-11-10 10:17 PM   #105 
  - You mean for dinner?  donheld   Jan-11-10 11:36 PM   #106 
  - Know this:After having them; your heart no longer resides IN your chest; but outside it.  lildreamer316   Jan-12-10 03:04 AM   #108 
  - don't have kids  katkat   Jan-12-10 03:30 AM   #109 
  - Isn't it, like, a personal choice?  timtom   Jan-12-10 12:53 PM   #112 
  - First some photos......  Burma Jones   Jan-12-10 01:05 PM   #113 
  - beautiful photos ...  kwassa   Jan-12-10 01:19 PM   #114 
  - i love  seabeyond   Jan-12-10 01:20 PM   #115 
  - I have appreciated not being the Central Character of my own story for awhile  Burma Jones   Jan-12-10 06:45 PM   #120 
  - What magnificent little creatures you have brought into this world!!!!  BrklynLiberal   Jan-12-10 03:03 PM   #118 
  - Little Creatures is one of my favorite Talking Heads songs  Burma Jones   Jan-12-10 06:47 PM   #121 
  - "Two daughters of a silk merchant live in Kyoto.  Fire Walk With Me   Jan-13-10 12:08 PM   #125 
  - It is too terrible. Do not reproduce. Do not put anyone through it. Please.  Fire Walk With Me   Jan-12-10 02:44 PM   #116 
  - what a wonderful true and ballsy quote (don't you love bester!)  pitohui   Jan-12-10 08:56 PM   #124 
  - .....  BrklynLiberal   Jan-12-10 03:01 PM   #117 
  - jesus- just how young is this girlfriend...?  dysfunctional press   Jan-12-10 07:37 PM   #123 

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