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Reply #14: "If you cannot do something well, don't even bother trying" [View All]

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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-20-04 04:13 PM
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14. "If you cannot do something well, don't even bother trying"
I don't remember if my mother ever said that directly but it was implied and said in other words so many other times. I now realize how much this has handicapped me. I missed out on pursuing several things that I would have liked to do when I was a child/teenager. I also have had an emotionally difficult time learning and doing things that take me longer than most people, such as when I learned to drive, which was not something that I was naturually talented at. I am also questioning what it is that I really want to do because in the past the answer was that I do things because I can do them well, and I like doing well. I realize that this is so wrong, but I don't think that my mother has realized that yet. Her own father instilled that in his children's heads.
Because of my mother's focus on achievement and being angry with me if I didn't do well in everything in my life, I often thought that her love was conditional. I don't know if that it is true but it seemed like it. It makes it difficult because I have relationships which are much more unconditional that I have trouble forgiving myself and thinking that everything is alright between them and myself, long after I have been forgiven.
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  -Really bad parenting advice: TXlib  Mar-20-04 03:20 PM   #0 
  - no woman/man will ever love you, cook as good for you or  roguevalley   Mar-20-04 03:24 PM   #1 
  - Nail a broken condom to their bedroom door  DS1   Mar-20-04 03:24 PM   #2 
  - I think Maddox says it all right here!  KissMyAsscroft   Mar-20-04 03:25 PM   #3 
  - LMAO  NewHampshireDem   Mar-20-04 03:40 PM   #10 
  - I don't thinki I've laughed harder than when I first read the O'Reilly and  burythehatchet   Mar-20-04 03:49 PM   #12 
  - The best toys and food ...  NewHampshireDem   Mar-20-04 03:26 PM   #4 
  - 2) Never cry!  ParanoidPat   Mar-20-04 03:26 PM   #5 
  - Don't forget Duke from Doonesbury...  AngryYoungMan   Mar-20-04 03:29 PM   #6 
  - "You'll always be a failure."  Jim Sagle   Mar-20-04 03:37 PM   #7 
  - I have a better dad-quote  pagerbear   Mar-20-04 07:22 PM   #17 
  - Never say no to your kids...  RoeBear   Mar-20-04 03:38 PM   #8 
  - The flipside...  jmowreader   Mar-20-04 07:13 PM   #15 
  - "Your penis makes you a bad, bad boy.."  opiate69   Mar-20-04 03:39 PM   #9 
  - Son, I don't care if you're both in high school.....  ParanoidPat   Mar-20-04 03:43 PM   #11 
  - Beating the crap out of your kids when they fall off of their bicycle...  DesertedRose   Mar-20-04 04:03 PM   #13 
  - "If you cannot do something well, don't even bother trying"  Nikia   Mar-20-04 04:13 PM   #14 
  - This is soooo funny...  PassingFair   Mar-21-04 12:01 AM   #30 
  - Compare the siblings  SarahBelle   Mar-20-04 07:19 PM   #16 
  - In the same vein, you must label them as  put out   Mar-20-04 07:36 PM   #20 
  - Never say you're sorry.  Ladyhawk   Mar-20-04 07:26 PM   #18 
  - here's what my husband's father told him when he was 12:  GloriaSmith   Mar-20-04 07:28 PM   #19 
  - *sigh* It's too bad one isn't required to take lessons to become a parent  LividLiberal   Mar-20-04 08:00 PM   #21 
  - If youre not smart....  LiberalManiacfromOC   Mar-20-04 08:09 PM   #22 
  - When your kid asks you about sex, say  GoddessOfGuinness   Mar-20-04 08:12 PM   #23 
  - Whatever Your Children Do, It Isn't Good Enough  kpharmer   Mar-20-04 11:01 PM   #24 
  - That is SO my dad  TN4Gore   Mar-20-04 11:09 PM   #26 
  - Instill the belief  dolo amber   Mar-20-04 11:05 PM   #25 
  - Let them run wild, and when you're guests  Lydia Leftcoast   Mar-20-04 11:31 PM   #27 
  - I'd have immediately invited the guests to leave.  TXlib   Mar-20-04 11:38 PM   #28 
  - Every time the child smiles, turn off the lights  WillyBrandt   Mar-20-04 11:40 PM   #29 
  - The ultimate tip...  KDLarsen   Mar-21-04 12:30 AM   #31 
  - Be careful not to give them too much praise  mykpart   Mar-21-04 12:58 AM   #32 
  - Give them the following career advice:  Mike Niendorff   Mar-21-04 01:02 AM   #33 
  - Discipline is good. Yell at your children often.  EstimatedProphet   Mar-21-04 01:09 AM   #34 
  - You couldn't possibly be gay  TrogL   Mar-21-04 01:19 AM   #35 

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