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GentryDixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-16-09 01:58 PM
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70. I've got her beat.
My cat, whom my husband hated, knocked my dog's ashes off the fireplace mantle minutes before leaving for work. It broke the granite on the hearth, but not the vase, only knocked the lid off. I put the vase in microwave and left for work so I could fix it later. Well, I forgot poor Misha was in the microwave. My husband found her the next morning when he needed to warm his coffee. I had to fess up to the broken hearth and well as the fact the dreaded Marty Cat did the dirty deed.
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  -Should I divorce Haruka over this -- serious advice only LostinVA  Feb-16-09 12:44 PM   #0 
  - Dude. I feel your pain.  Midlodemocrat   Feb-16-09 12:45 PM   #1 
  - I KNEW from her look of guilt that this WAS NOT THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 12:47 PM   #2 
     - I'm crying over here for you.  Midlodemocrat   Feb-16-09 12:49 PM   #4 
     - It's not a sharpness thing--it'll ruin the rivets in the handle!  Shakespeare   Feb-16-09 12:55 PM   #9 
        - I've been a shell of my former self since I found out  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 12:56 PM   #13 
  - If it's a Henckle or a Wustaf, call a good attourney  southpaw   Feb-16-09 12:49 PM   #3 
  - It's a Global  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 12:54 PM   #8 
     - Global?  southpaw   Feb-16-09 12:58 PM   #18 
     - It was a wedding registry thing -- I was so excited someone bought it!  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:00 PM   #20 
     - i read this post and i think of kill bill  Beer Snob-50   Feb-16-09 01:15 PM   #36 
     - Kill her  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 01:31 PM   #47 
        - I have people in my extended family who can...  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:35 PM   #50 
           - This guy will do it for you  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 01:37 PM   #55 
  - Begin wearing the knife strapped to your thigh. Also...  Orrex   Feb-16-09 12:50 PM   #5 
  - I may hide the good knife, and make her use the cheap IKEA ones  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 12:58 PM   #17 
  - Now that's just cruel  Orrex   Feb-16-09 01:08 PM   #25 
  - Oh, damn, that sounds like so much fun.  Jamastiene   Feb-16-09 01:54 PM   #64 
  - I hope you found it BEFORE the dishes were run.  Shakespeare   Feb-16-09 12:51 PM   #6 
  - NO -- it was after, but that's not the worst thing  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 12:55 PM   #10 
     - *screams in horror*  Shakespeare   Feb-16-09 12:58 PM   #16 
        - I'm not even making any of this up  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:00 PM   #22 
        - I've at least got him trained not to put ours in the dishwasher.  Shakespeare   Feb-16-09 01:05 PM   #23 
           - She has done that, too  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:08 PM   #26 
              - THAT TOO!  Shakespeare   Feb-16-09 01:09 PM   #27 
                 - They are both intelligent people  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:11 PM   #30 
        - It's a good thing she doesn't know about the time I used it to cut the plastic around the butter tub  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 01:28 PM   #46 
           - THAT BETTER BE A JOKE  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:36 PM   #52 
           - You will never know, will you?  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 01:36 PM   #53 
           - Does she wipe it clean with one of those baby diapers???  Debi   Feb-16-09 01:53 PM   #62 
              - If I wasn't late to the Early Birder, I'd tell you off right now!!!!!  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:58 PM   #69 
                 - Hurry or they'll be all out of bread pudding  Debi   Feb-16-09 02:01 PM   #75 
                    - They better not be -- I had the prune whip yesterday  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 02:02 PM   #77 
  - At least it's your wife who did it  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 12:52 PM   #7 
  - I honestly would kill them  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 12:57 PM   #15 
     - This is my knife  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 01:10 PM   #29 
        - I seriously would keep it in my bedroom somewhere  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:12 PM   #32 
           - In my last place I used my closet for all my good pots and pans  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 01:14 PM   #35 
  - Yes, you never under any circumstances put a good knife  Crabby Appleton   Feb-16-09 12:55 PM   #11 
  - I insist she stay with me while you work out the details.  flvegan   Feb-16-09 12:55 PM   #12 
  - No  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 12:57 PM   #14 
     - Or me, I have no dishwasher  sasquatch   Feb-16-09 01:00 PM   #21 
  - My husband does the same thing with our expensive knives.  Shell Beau   Feb-16-09 01:00 PM   #19 
  - my husband wrecked an entire set of Chicago cutlery knives i used to have by putting  AlCzervik   Feb-16-09 01:05 PM   #24 
  - She at least doesn't use metal on the good pots and pans  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:10 PM   #28 
  - oh we had silicone utensils, he just didn't use them. I was so fing angry because  AlCzervik   Feb-16-09 01:12 PM   #31 
  - For having a yuppie kitchen you need better knives than Chicago Cutlery  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 01:12 PM   #33 
  - i got a set of henckels that no one touches except for me. All clad makes some nice  AlCzervik   Feb-16-09 01:14 PM   #34 
     - Mmm Henckels  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 01:16 PM   #37 
  - To speak in his defense, that Chicago Cutlery didn't have far to go to be ruined.  Rabrrrrrr   Feb-16-09 01:16 PM   #38 
     - no it didn't but it was the first set of knives i ever got, i didn't know any better.  AlCzervik   Feb-16-09 01:20 PM   #40 
  - Sounds like you're just looking for an excuse to dump her  taterguy   Feb-16-09 01:17 PM   #39 
  - She'll be 26 next week -- ewwwww  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:21 PM   #41 
  - bah hahah. i just gotta laugh cause, well my hubby has the same issue  seabeyond   Feb-16-09 01:22 PM   #42 
  - Could this be payback from the time you called her that word?  Fleshdancer   Feb-16-09 01:26 PM   #43 
  - You mean  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:37 PM   #54 
  - I can read this, you know  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 01:26 PM   #44 
  - what kind of cheap knife can't be washed?  gmoney   Feb-16-09 01:27 PM   #45 
  - Why are you even wasting the time to post this?  ScreamingMeemie   Feb-16-09 01:31 PM   #48 
  - what kind of chickenshit knife can't handle a decent wash now and then?  DS1   Feb-16-09 01:32 PM   #49 
  - Apparently, her precious chickenshit knives  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 01:35 PM   #51 
     - My fancy Global snapped in two while I was hand washing it  DS1   Feb-16-09 01:37 PM   #56 
     - You're officially on notice not to touch my knives.  SOteric   Feb-16-09 01:50 PM   #59 
     - .  DS1   Feb-16-09 01:53 PM   #63 
     - *gasp*  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 01:59 PM   #71 
     - Look at it as a "Get out of Loading the Dishwasher Free" card...  ScreamingMeemie   Feb-16-09 02:18 PM   #92 
        - Good point  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 02:22 PM   #94 
  - most knives can be washed in the dish washer  crimsonblue   Feb-16-09 01:40 PM   #57 
  - Not ones that are semi decent  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 01:46 PM   #58 
     - No i don't, you patronizing ass.  crimsonblue   Feb-16-09 01:57 PM   #67 
        - .  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 01:58 PM   #68 
        - it's a matter of preference, really.  crimsonblue   Feb-16-09 02:05 PM   #82 
        - It's not about dulling the knives. The extreme heat in the dishwasher WILL fuck up the handle/tang.  Shakespeare   Feb-16-09 03:11 PM   #100 
  - Only if I can kick Mr. Debi to the curb  Debi   Feb-16-09 01:50 PM   #60 
  - I threw away a pair of Oakley sunglasses Mrs R got from ebay  Richardo   Feb-16-09 01:54 PM   #65 
  - Yep...always check the box!  Debi   Feb-16-09 01:59 PM   #72 
  - Wait -- I thought you "dropped him off" in the woods???  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 02:00 PM   #73 
     - Someone gave him a ride home....  Debi   Feb-16-09 02:01 PM   #76 
  - Is the knife technically dishwasher safe?  Jamastiene   Feb-16-09 01:53 PM   #61 
  - Yes  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 01:56 PM   #66 
  - Did you put it in a slot with other utensils nearby?  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 02:00 PM   #74 
  - Some silicon spatulas  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 02:02 PM   #78 
     - You may be safe  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 02:06 PM   #85 
        - Yeah, like I'm replacing her precious $45 knife with that  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 02:08 PM   #86 
           - C'mon it's only slightly less expensive than a Margaritaville  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 02:11 PM   #88 
              - We already have a Margaritaville -- it was a wedding shower gift  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 02:16 PM   #90 
                 - The only things I regret not buying at my last job were a Beertender and a Margaritaville  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 02:18 PM   #91 
                    - I want a Beertender, too  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 02:21 PM   #93 
                       - I almost bought one at 60% off  Tektonik   Feb-16-09 02:25 PM   #95 
  - Gosh, you poor thing.  Jamastiene   Feb-16-09 03:25 PM   #107 
     - She wasn't like this until we got good stuff  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 03:26 PM   #108 
        - Poor baby.  Jamastiene   Feb-16-09 03:28 PM   #109 
  - No  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 02:02 PM   #79 
     - Hmm...what a conundrum.  Jamastiene   Feb-16-09 03:14 PM   #101 
        - It's a steel knife, it can be sharpened  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 03:18 PM   #102 
        - See my post above. It's not about dulling.  Shakespeare   Feb-16-09 03:20 PM   #104 
           - You're just saying these things because you have a girl crush on my wife  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 03:29 PM   #110 
              - No, that's an entirely different matter. I've gone all Joan Crawford on Gordon for the knife thing.  Shakespeare   Feb-16-09 03:35 PM   #112 
                 - He's the man, he has every right to put it in the dishwasher  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 03:37 PM   #113 
                    - Such a statement makes Gordon laugh...  Shakespeare   Feb-16-09 03:38 PM   #114 
  - I've got her beat.  GentryDixon   Feb-16-09 01:58 PM   #70 
  - Eww, who warms coffee in the microwave?  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 02:03 PM   #80 
     - What? You wanna piss everyone on DU off today?  Debi   Feb-16-09 02:04 PM   #81 
     - Why should today be any different than other days?  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 02:06 PM   #84 
     - My husband is a freak about scalding coffee.  GentryDixon   Feb-16-09 02:05 PM   #83 
     - You're also not supposed to make coffee at a boiling temperature  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 02:10 PM   # 
     - I actually have a french press.  GentryDixon   Feb-16-09 02:13 PM   #89 
     - You're also not supposed to make coffee at a boiling temperature  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 02:10 PM   #87 
     - I nuke coffee  JustABozoOnThisBus   Feb-16-09 02:31 PM   #96 
        - It totally ruins the taste  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 02:39 PM   #97 
  - Kick her ass to the curb...  driver8   Feb-16-09 02:39 PM   #98 
  - There has to be SOME way to reach an accomodation.  Deep13   Feb-16-09 02:47 PM   #99 
  - Pfft, it was a wedding gift for BOTH of us  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 03:19 PM   #103 
     - Why? nt  Deep13   Feb-16-09 03:22 PM   #105 
        - Because I said so, and I'm the man  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 03:24 PM   #106 
           - You can't be the 'Trophy Wife' and 'The Man'  Debi   Feb-16-09 04:10 PM   #117 
              - Oh trust me, I can be the man  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 04:54 PM   #118 
                 - Oh MY!!  Debi   Feb-16-09 05:06 PM   #121 
  - I gave my s/o one helluva lecture....  SacredCow   Feb-16-09 03:33 PM   #111 
  - Upon deep reflection and much soul searching...  LanternWaste   Feb-16-09 03:59 PM   #115 
  - You should be, she's a total klutz  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 04:55 PM   #119 
  - I thought you were my pal!  LostinVA   Feb-16-09 05:24 PM   #122 
     - Of course I am...  LanternWaste   Feb-16-09 06:16 PM   #124 
        - Honestly, one of the best pairs of scissors I ever had was a blue crayola pair  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 07:31 PM   #126 
  - Well, she is a trophy wife,  peacefreak   Feb-16-09 04:08 PM   #116 
  - I already have a very nice set of German knives inherited from my dad  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 04:56 PM   #120 
     - Do you put those in the dishwasher?  peacefreak   Feb-16-09 06:05 PM   #123 
        - Are you kidding me? I inherited them from my dad  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 07:30 PM   #125 
  - I'd stick with her just on looks alone  Wetzelbill   Feb-16-09 07:50 PM   #127 
  - Actually, if you ignore the knife in the dishwasher, I'd make an awesome housewife  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-16-09 07:58 PM   #128 
     - ok I'm sold  Wetzelbill   Feb-16-09 08:23 PM   #129 
  - You and your knives  cboy4   Feb-17-09 03:09 AM   #130 
  - That's the knife I put in the dishwasher!  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-17-09 06:46 AM   #132 
     - I figured that was the one.  cboy4   Feb-17-09 06:51 AM   #133 
        - I am good  HarukaTheTrophyWife   Feb-17-09 07:38 AM   #134 
        - NOW you know why I'm so damned pissed!  LostinVA   Feb-17-09 07:39 AM   #135 
  - you and Haruka both need your asses kicked  Skittles   Feb-17-09 03:55 AM   #131 
  - Are you volunteering?  LostinVA   Feb-17-09 07:40 AM   #136 
     - any time, babes  Skittles   Feb-17-09 06:20 PM   #137 
  - Haruuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuka Is In Trouble  Parche   Feb-17-09 06:54 PM   #138 

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