Good morning Lounge, I just had the strangest dream. Get this:

[Tommy_Carcetti]

I dreamt that the son of President George Bush--you know, that mediocre one-term president of the late 1980s and early 1990s--somehow got himself elected president. Well, sort of. He actually lost the popular vote, but there was a technicality in the electoral college. One state--I think it was Florida, actually--had a razor thin margin but a lot of problems with voting and people being turned away from the polls or placed on felons lists. So they have to have a recount, but get this--Bush Jr. takes it to the Supreme Court to actually stop the counting of the votes! And did I mention the fact that his brother was Governor of Florida?

So anyways, the guy's a real knucklehead. Could hardly put a sentence together, would always run off to some ranch he had in Texas, and would never show any type of actual leadership in the office. Meanwhile, he has his dad's old Secretary of Defense--was it Dick Cheney, I forgot--choose himself as Vice President and then use the office to threaten people and scheme up some really ugly plans for the country. Half the time the guy would work out of some "undisclosed location."

Then, in the first year of his presidency, we get attacked by terrorists. It was horrible; they flew planes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon, and one crashed in Pennsylvania. So what's Bush Jr.'s reaction? Nothing. The guy's in a photo-op in an elementary school reading to school children, and he just sits there, reading. Totally oblivious to what's going on. Could you imagine a President actually doing that in real life? I couldn't. I don't think a thing could ever happen.

The sympathy of the whole world is with us after this horrible attack. Bush Jr. tries a half ass attempt to get the lead terrorist in Afghanistan, but nothing ever becomes of it. So what does he do? He tells us we need to invade Iraq! Even though Iraq had nothing to do with this attack! He claims they have "weapons of mass destruction" but has no real interest in having UN inspectors find out whether or not that was the case. Instead, he orders in American troops, and they capture and eventually execute Saddam Hussein, but nobody ever found these supposed "weapons of mass destruction." Meanwhile, the entire country of Iraq falls into chaos and thousands upon thousands of people are killed, including 4,000 of our own troops. Why did he invade Iraq? I've got no idea. Perhaps to prove himself to daddy, or help some of his buddies get rich. I'm glad real Presidents would never do anything so stupid and callous.

Meanwhile, the guy has no respect for the constitution. He starts rounding up people he calls "enemy combatants" and sticks them at the naval station in Guantanamo Bay, but doesn't actually charge them with any actual crimes or take them to trial. Instead, he sees fit to have them subjected to acts of torture, like holding them underwater for prolonged periods of time. He also decides that the government doesn't need warrants or probable cause to listen in on people's phone conversations, and claims it is all in the interest of "national security." What a buffoon!

I think at one point, he was actually doing things like divulging the names of a CIA agent because her husband disagreed with his Iraq policy, and giving private security guards carte blanche to do whatever they please in Iraq without recompense.

Worst part is, he actually gets re-elected! How does he do it? He besmirches the honor of his opponent, a Purple Heart Vietnam Veteran! And apparently this is a guy whose own military record consists of running out on the Texas Air National Guard. And when somebody--I think it was Dan Rather--runs a story on that, he gets him fired! This guy was a real sleazeball, I tell you.

Things only get worse in his second term. A horrible hurricane devestates the Gulf Coast and floods the City of New Orleans. People are stuck on their roof tops and holed up in the Superdome for days without food or water. So what did Bush Jr. do during all of this? Nothing! He was on vacation, and instead of going to New Orleans to survey the scene and make sure FEMA was doing its job, he simply flies around the country for different photo ops. I think he managed to fly over the city on his way back, but that was it. I don't think America in real life could have stood for such malfeasance!

By the end of this guy's presidency, the entire country is a mess. The stock market crashes, entire banks start failing, and people are losing their jobs left and right. Yet for everything that was wrong in this country, this Bush Jr. character still won't admit any mistakes! Talk about your hubris.

Anyways, I just woke up. Thank goodness it was only a dream!