Reply #39: The mistake women make is over-estimating our needs and desires.

[Deep13]

"What goes on inside a man's mind... and how attraction works for him."

Now, I'm not going to say 'not much' because it is sexist and untrue. What I will say is that whatever is going on in the dude's head, it has nothing to do with relationships, intimacy, personal compatability, what you're wearing, how your hair is, how to decorate the house, what your children might look like, whether his folks will like your or vice versa or anything that has anything to do with anything subtle, complicated or nuanced. He is in the moment and not much else.

"How to 'cheat-proof' your relationship... and why he might be tempted."

He will be tempted. That is a given. Understand that he does not consider love and sex to be synonymous or even related. Explain why screwing around makes you sad. Otherwise, he won'y know. Also, try not to date someone with a history of lying or screwing around. If YOU are the 'other woman,' you have cause to be worried.

"The ten fatal mistakes to avoid that most women make with men."

I'll give one. Failure to understand he is not a woman. He doesn't think like you.

"What to do if your man has a 'wandering eye'."

Nothing. That is normal.

"The differences in how men and women think about dating... and why most men want to keep you from being successful."

I think 'most' is an overstatement. The ones that do, it is because he has a strong-father-figure model of governance in his head. He feels he must be the provider and in charge because he was taught growing up that those things are what men do. If so, he's probably a Republican.

"The seven secrets to communicating with a man that will create lasting love and affection."

There are two actually. 1. Talk. 2. Don't assume he knows what you mean. Explain it in practical terms.

"The truth about men who aren't 'emotionally available'... how to know if you've got one and what to do if you're dating one."

Again, we are not women and are generally expected to be unemotional. Men generally consider the display of emotion, especially ones that indicate distress, to be a feminine characteristic. It is a bit unrealistic to expect instant deprogramming for you.

"The five things women do that annoy men and kill intimacy."

Expecting him to be you. As long as he can unwind at home and has a warm bed, he'll be happy. He doesn't care about all that other stuff.

"The inside tips married women know about the tell-tale signs of a great guy."

Lack of a rap sheet? I have to wonder if there are any 'tell-tale signs' beyond common decency.