Vinca
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Fri Feb-22-08 04:43 PM
Response to Original message |
| 51. Your poor uncle is badly in need of help you probably can't give. |
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It sounds like your entire family has enabled him forever - probably because they don't know what else to do. You're brave to want to be the one to finally confront him and you never know - that might be all it takes for him to make a move in the right direction. The bottom line is that it has to be his choice and his time. I went through this with my brother and the most difficult thing to do is to slam down the phone or lock the door when you've given them an ultimatum. It took my brother a couple of rehab stints, but he finally conquered it and has been sober (and quite successful) for decades. Good luck - to you and to him.
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| -How do you help a loved one who is an alcoholic |
nadine_mn |
Feb-22-08 01:20 AM |
#0 |
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Sad to say, there really isn't much you can do |
Oeditpus Rex |
Feb-22-08 01:50 AM |
#1 |
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Go to Alanon |
Southpawkicker |
Feb-22-08 01:57 AM |
#2 |
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I second on Alanon. I've heard that when family members go to Alanon |
Maraya1969 |
Feb-22-08 04:01 AM |
#6 |
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"Committing" is unlikely |
Giant Robot |
Feb-22-08 02:37 PM |
#24 |
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nadine; there ARE things you can do. |
elleng |
Feb-22-08 02:11 AM |
#3 |
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What Oedi said. |
LeftyMom |
Feb-22-08 02:31 AM |
#4 |
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nadine, I've returned |
elleng |
Feb-22-08 03:54 AM |
#5 |
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Thank you for the links |
nadine_mn |
Feb-22-08 02:36 PM |
#23 |
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Glad info useful. |
elleng |
Feb-22-08 07:15 PM |
#53 |
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when I was drinking, booze was the solution and 'you people' were the problem |
AZDemDist6 |
Feb-22-08 04:03 AM |
#7 |
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Thats what I am afraid of |
nadine_mn |
Feb-22-08 01:34 PM |
#12 |
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Tell him you love him as often as you can |
Inchworm |
Feb-22-08 04:27 AM |
#8 |
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I love you, Inchworm! |
elleng |
Feb-22-08 04:38 AM |
#10 |
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awww, shucks |
Inchworm |
Feb-22-08 04:44 AM |
#11 |
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Intervention is possible |
elleng |
Feb-22-08 04:35 AM |
#9 |
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There is nothing you can do. |
janesez |
Feb-22-08 01:41 PM |
#13 |
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I understand what you are saying about the disconnect |
nadine_mn |
Feb-22-08 02:34 PM |
#21 |
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Certainly not! |
janesez |
Feb-22-08 02:44 PM |
#29 |
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I have an uncle who is pretty much in the same boat. |
Shell Beau |
Feb-22-08 01:44 PM |
#14 |
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Keep reminding yourself |
muddleofpudd |
Feb-22-08 01:48 PM |
#15 |
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I've never been on your side of it. |
Iggo |
Feb-22-08 02:00 PM |
#16 |
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Its so hokey but I just want him to know he is loved and is a good person |
nadine_mn |
Feb-22-08 02:48 PM |
#31 |
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Don't know that there is much you can do... |
Deep13 |
Feb-22-08 02:01 PM |
#17 |
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Hmm... |
Iggo |
Feb-22-08 02:12 PM |
#19 |
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You just can't leave it alone, can you? |
TrogL |
Feb-22-08 02:33 PM |
#20 |
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I know exactly how they "work" and I am not going to argue this again. |
Deep13 |
Feb-22-08 02:38 PM |
#25 |
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NO, you don't know how 12 step programs work. |
Kajsa |
Feb-22-08 04:10 PM |
#47 |
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He really, really can't. |
janesez |
Feb-22-08 02:45 PM |
#30 |
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You're not a Scientologist by any chance, are you? (n/t) |
muddleofpudd |
Feb-22-08 02:36 PM |
#22 |
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No, I object to all cults. nt |
Deep13 |
Feb-22-08 02:39 PM |
#26 |
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Al-Anon is anything but a cult |
muddleofpudd |
Feb-22-08 02:43 PM |
#28 |
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I've argued all of this the last time someone had an alcoholic relative on this forum. |
Deep13 |
Feb-22-08 02:51 PM |
#33 |
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Well, if you've already argued your premise in other threads |
muddleofpudd |
Feb-22-08 02:56 PM |
#36 |
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I respectfully disagree |
nadine_mn |
Feb-22-08 02:43 PM |
#27 |
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I wish you all the best. I hope your uncle stops his self-destruction. |
Deep13 |
Feb-22-08 02:55 PM |
#35 |
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I got better once I STOPPED seeing a shrink and started a 12-step program. |
mycritters2 |
Feb-22-08 07:26 PM |
#54 |
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Attention, all the millions who've been helped by AA and its 'satellite' groups: |
Oeditpus Rex |
Feb-22-08 02:48 PM |
#32 |
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Woo hoo! |
janesez |
Feb-22-08 02:54 PM |
#34 |
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Your sobriety is all in your mind |
Oeditpus Rex |
Feb-22-08 02:57 PM |
#37 |
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You're right, I did it ALL BY MYSELF. |
janesez |
Feb-22-08 02:57 PM |
#38 |
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I know! |
Oeditpus Rex |
Feb-22-08 03:02 PM |
#39 |
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That is such a logical fallacy it hardly needs to be explained, but here it goes. |
Deep13 |
Feb-22-08 03:02 PM |
#40 |
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In other words |
Oeditpus Rex |
Feb-22-08 03:23 PM |
#44 |
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Are you an alcoholic? |
Dyedinthewoolliberal |
Feb-22-08 06:26 PM |
#52 |
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Kewl - I have always wanted to shoot heroin |
KitchenWitch |
Feb-22-08 03:06 PM |
#41 |
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I'll bring syringes, and a shoe to stare at! |
janesez |
Feb-22-08 03:20 PM |
#43 |
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Better make it a boot |
Oeditpus Rex |
Feb-22-08 03:25 PM |
#45 |
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AWESOME! |
KitchenWitch |
Feb-22-08 03:31 PM |
#46 |
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Excellent! |
Iggo |
Feb-23-08 12:52 PM |
#57 |
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God, it must REALLY suck to be you... |
RetroLounge |
Feb-23-08 01:10 PM |
#58 |
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Until they want to help themselves, |
x-g.o.p.er |
Feb-22-08 02:07 PM |
#18 |
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I am also going to recommend Alanon |
KitchenWitch |
Feb-22-08 03:10 PM |
#42 |
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I also suggest Al-Anon. |
Kajsa |
Feb-22-08 04:20 PM |
#48 |
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Yep, Al-Anon. |
graywarrior |
Feb-22-08 04:22 PM |
#49 |
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it's up to him |
leftofthedial |
Feb-22-08 04:28 PM |
#50 |
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Your poor uncle is badly in need of help you probably can't give. |
Vinca |
Feb-22-08 04:43 PM |
#51 |
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I always refer parishioners in such situations to Al-Anon. |
mycritters2 |
Feb-22-08 07:27 PM |
#55 |
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nadine and all, |
elleng |
Feb-22-08 10:34 PM |
#56 |
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My friend was a drunk |
Turbineguy |
Feb-23-08 03:50 PM |
#59 |
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