Chovexani
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Sun Feb-17-08 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
| 34. Word word and also? Word. |
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It's possible for poly relationships to be totally faithful, with principles of honesty and caring held to firmly. And it's possible for monogamous folks to "cheat" without ever having sex with another person, just by being dishonest about feelings and desires.
A thousand times yes. And I agree with you on the judging. People have no idea what goes on in other people's relationships and really need to STFU. What is good for me is not necessarily good for thee, etc. Cheating's an automatic deal breaker for me, personally. I've been cheated on in the past (in mono relationships, heh), and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get over it. But I know that's not the case for other people. The self-righteousness about Bill and Hillary gets me, especially from so-called liberals. People need to get the hell out other people's marriages.
|
| -Is cheating on a partner ever okay? |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 02:03 PM |
#0 |
 -
If you have to call it cheating, then yes, it's bad. |
Rabrrrrrr |
Feb-17-08 02:04 PM |
#1 |
 -
this |
DS1 |
Feb-17-08 02:05 PM |
#3 |
 -
Agreed. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 02:09 PM |
#9 |
| -
Yeah, this is a little like asking if murder is always wrong |
theredpen |
Feb-17-08 03:37 PM |
#60 |
| -
Agreed. |
WritingIsMyReligion |
Feb-18-08 06:54 AM |
#107 |
| -
no, cheating is never okay |
Southpawkicker |
Feb-17-08 02:05 PM |
#2 |
| -
I don't think it's OK. |
AspieGrrl |
Feb-17-08 02:05 PM |
#4 |
| -
What she said.. |
Omphaloskepsis |
Feb-17-08 02:12 PM |
#12 |
| -
Hmm. I don't think it's ever "okay". |
PeaceNikki |
Feb-17-08 02:06 PM |
#5 |
| -
That's a great point. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 02:11 PM |
#11 |
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Ouch!! That would HURT! |
PeaceNikki |
Feb-17-08 02:17 PM |
#17 |
| -
YOU ARE NOT A UNIQUE AND BEAUTIFUL SNOWFLAKE! |
Tyler Durden |
Feb-17-08 05:21 PM |
#67 |
| -
LOL! |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 09:06 PM |
#90 |
| -
Forgivable, possibly... |
HypnoToad |
Feb-17-08 02:33 PM |
#23 |
| -
I used to think it was forgivable |
RetroLounge |
Feb-17-08 02:58 PM |
#41 |
| -
It's certainly not always forgivable. It's probably mostly not forgivable. |
PeaceNikki |
Feb-17-08 03:04 PM |
#49 |
| -
That's the thing. |
RetroLounge |
Feb-17-08 03:09 PM |
#51 |
| -
Forgiveness may never come |
lizziegrace |
Feb-17-08 03:38 PM |
#61 |
| -
It can be |
OhioBlues |
Feb-17-08 05:28 PM |
#68 |
| -
I just don't know... |
RetroLounge |
Feb-17-08 07:13 PM |
#74 |
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Urges and feelings do NOT need to be acted upon. |
Common Sense Party |
Feb-17-08 11:45 PM |
#97 |
| -
Of course, but there's a fine line between |
Chovexani |
Feb-18-08 02:46 AM |
#99 |
| -
big hug |
OhioBlues |
Feb-18-08 04:11 AM |
#100 |
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I *say* I've forgiven him but |
zingaro |
Feb-18-08 04:06 PM |
#165 |
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Nope. |
LeftyMom |
Feb-17-08 02:06 PM |
#6 |
| -
Yep. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 02:14 PM |
#14 |
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That's just a perfect description of my ex. |
LeftyMom |
Feb-17-08 02:25 PM |
#20 |
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Ewww |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 02:48 PM |
#31 |
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Thanks. |
LeftyMom |
Feb-17-08 02:55 PM |
#37 |
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So you replace a cheating ass with a guy who works out a lot and saves puppies. |
DarkTirade |
Feb-17-08 02:54 PM |
#36 |
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There was a non-offensive sofa lump in between. |
LeftyMom |
Feb-17-08 02:56 PM |
#40 |
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Veto rights? |
flvegan |
Feb-17-08 06:09 PM |
#71 |
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Yeah, that was when I was young and stupid. |
LeftyMom |
Feb-17-08 09:16 PM |
#91 |
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so you were once an asshole and now are no longer an asshole? |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-18-08 10:17 PM |
#167 |
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no it's not |
lost-in-nj |
Feb-17-08 02:08 PM |
#7 |
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Ever okay? |
KC2 |
Feb-17-08 02:09 PM |
#8 |
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Cheating is never ok. Period. |
hisownpetard |
Feb-17-08 02:10 PM |
#10 |
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I can't say it is, but then my partner has cheated on me |
OhioBlues |
Feb-17-08 02:13 PM |
#13 |
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I've been cheated on too. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 02:15 PM |
#16 |
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no. |
chimpsrsmarter |
Feb-17-08 02:14 PM |
#15 |
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I suppose if you're |
supernova |
Feb-17-08 02:22 PM |
#18 |
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ok not to get to persnickity but if someone is holding a gun to your head it's rape |
Connonym |
Feb-17-08 08:16 PM |
#81 |
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Actually it is persnickity |
supernova |
Feb-18-08 01:19 PM |
#156 |
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so you're saying if your partner was raped you'd consider it cheating? |
Connonym |
Feb-19-08 05:36 AM |
#170 |
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There is ABSOLUTELY no |
Simply Fugue |
Feb-17-08 02:23 PM |
#19 |
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end the existing relationship (completely) |
lizziegrace |
Feb-17-08 02:28 PM |
#21 |
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Anyone who does should be cheated ON... |
HypnoToad |
Feb-17-08 02:31 PM |
#22 |
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omg omg someone take a screenshot |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 02:55 PM |
#38 |
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It'd be far worse if everyone agreed with everyone else on everything. |
HypnoToad |
Feb-17-08 03:00 PM |
#44 |
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Hee! |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 03:04 PM |
#48 |
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no |
GloriaSmith |
Feb-17-08 02:35 PM |
#24 |
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Huh? |
HypnoToad |
Feb-17-08 02:41 PM |
#26 |
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of course not |
GloriaSmith |
Feb-17-08 02:45 PM |
#28 |
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that is a tough one |
unpossibles |
Feb-18-08 09:46 AM |
#125 |
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No, with a caveat. |
Withywindle |
Feb-17-08 02:41 PM |
#25 |
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I double-checked, this ain't GDP, but it's cool. |
HypnoToad |
Feb-17-08 02:45 PM |
#30 |
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Word word and also? Word. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 02:53 PM |
#34 |
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If people can be affected by others, then in any society where people care about each other, |
HypnoToad |
Feb-17-08 02:58 PM |
#42 |
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Ah, the million dollar question |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 03:10 PM |
#52 |
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That's cool. |
HypnoToad |
Feb-17-08 08:36 PM |
#84 |
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We've actually just done it. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 09:05 PM |
#89 |
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No, it's not. |
SarahBelle |
Feb-17-08 02:44 PM |
#27 |
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No. n/t |
Jamastiene |
Feb-17-08 02:45 PM |
#29 |
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Not a good day to ask. |
BarenakedLady |
Feb-17-08 02:48 PM |
#32 |
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Aww. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 02:54 PM |
#35 |
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Nah |
BarenakedLady |
Feb-17-08 03:00 PM |
#45 |
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You walk around barenaked, what do ya expect? |
FlyingSquirrel |
Feb-17-08 08:06 PM |
#78 |
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Boo! |
Inchworm |
Feb-17-08 02:55 PM |
#39 |
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Blah! |
BarenakedLady |
Feb-17-08 03:01 PM |
#46 |
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If you have to cheat on them to save the world from immanent destruction... |
DarkTirade |
Feb-17-08 02:52 PM |
#33 |
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I gave up primo J-Rocker ass for my then-BF. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 03:02 PM |
#47 |
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... I'm not into the group thing but for that I'd probably ask if I could join in. |
DarkTirade |
Feb-17-08 03:06 PM |
#50 |
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I never understood the band groupie thing until I went to that show. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 03:12 PM |
#54 |
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Damn... I need to get a band going. :P |
DarkTirade |
Feb-17-08 03:13 PM |
#55 |
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I would have to stay away |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 03:16 PM |
#56 |
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Could you? |
DarkTirade |
Feb-17-08 03:16 PM |
#57 |
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I don't know. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 03:17 PM |
#58 |
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Few can. |
DarkTirade |
Feb-17-08 05:32 PM |
#69 |
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keyword -partner... nope |
Inchworm |
Feb-17-08 02:59 PM |
#43 |
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No |
MATTMAN |
Feb-17-08 03:12 PM |
#53 |
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My personal belief is that its a form of cowardice and the dishonesty... |
Solon |
Feb-17-08 03:26 PM |
#59 |
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It's human. It happens. |
Ellen Forradalom |
Feb-17-08 05:06 PM |
#62 |
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It's not "okay," but it does happen |
Blue_In_AK |
Feb-17-08 05:11 PM |
#63 |
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Whenever I read threads like these |
GirlinContempt |
Feb-18-08 10:42 AM |
#139 |
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Thanks for the understanding. |
Blue_In_AK |
Feb-18-08 02:54 PM |
#162 |
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There was a thread about this a while back and I got flamed for being judgmental |
Midlodemocrat |
Feb-17-08 05:13 PM |
#64 |
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I just happen |
SOteric |
Feb-17-08 06:03 PM |
#70 |
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Could you respect someone who had TWICE taken back a cheating spouse? |
PassingFair |
Feb-17-08 05:14 PM |
#65 |
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one of her judgement calls I don't get nt |
JoeIsOneOfUs |
Feb-17-08 08:20 PM |
#82 |
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Not my marriage. |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 08:49 PM |
#87 |
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But what business is it of yours? Or anyone else's for that matter? |
zingaro |
Feb-18-08 04:22 PM |
#166 |
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No. |
NNadir |
Feb-17-08 05:15 PM |
#66 |
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no, it is sleazy and disgusting |
Skittles |
Feb-17-08 06:54 PM |
#72 |
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Never. Under any circumstances. |
terrya |
Feb-17-08 06:55 PM |
#73 |
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no n/t |
enigmatic |
Feb-17-08 07:20 PM |
#75 |
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Cheating Is Never Ok, And Is Always The Act Of A Selfish Coward. |
OPERATIONMINDCRIME |
Feb-17-08 07:35 PM |
#76 |
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No. |
adsosletter |
Feb-17-08 07:57 PM |
#77 |
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Better question: if you do "fuck up" and cheat on your partner... |
MilesColtrane |
Feb-17-08 08:07 PM |
#79 |
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That is an interesting question indeed. |
PeaceNikki |
Feb-17-08 08:51 PM |
#88 |
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I've been both cheater and cheated on |
Chovexani |
Feb-17-08 09:16 PM |
#92 |
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I respect your opinion as someone having been there; however, |
adsosletter |
Feb-17-08 11:34 PM |
#94 |
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NO. Essentially, you are cheating on yourself. |
Tuesday Afternoon |
Feb-17-08 08:13 PM |
#80 |
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Hell No! |
SillyFlower |
Feb-17-08 08:20 PM |
#83 |
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In my marriage - no |
Generic Brad |
Feb-17-08 08:41 PM |
#85 |
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Short of Murder And Violent Assault, Cheating Is The Worst Thing You Could Ever Do In A Relationship |
Yavin4 |
Feb-17-08 08:44 PM |
#86 |
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If they're allowed to watch? |
TrogL |
Feb-17-08 09:26 PM |
#93 |
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No, all receipts and expenses must be on the record. |
Deep13 |
Feb-17-08 11:37 PM |
#95 |
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Cheaters suck. Always. There is no excuse. |
Common Sense Party |
Feb-17-08 11:42 PM |
#96 |
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PeaceNikki is a breath of fresh air. |
asteroid2003QQ47 |
Feb-18-08 01:15 AM |
#98 |
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I know plenty of situations where it is "okay" |
philboy |
Feb-18-08 04:51 AM |
#101 |
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Not when children are involved |
turtlensue |
Feb-18-08 05:01 AM |
#102 |
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Then in your particular situation... |
philboy |
Feb-18-08 05:08 AM |
#103 |
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Then the father is dealing with the situation immaturely and isn't helping matters.... |
Solon |
Feb-18-08 09:25 AM |
#121 |
| -
I have no idea if the problem would be solved by... |
philboy |
Feb-18-08 09:59 AM |
#127 |
| -
I was making a judgment based on the information presented... |
Solon |
Feb-18-08 10:12 AM |
#130 |
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again.... |
philboy |
Feb-18-08 10:17 AM |
#134 |
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Like I said before, I'm offering judgment based on the information presented... |
Solon |
Feb-18-08 10:28 AM |
#135 |
| -
and i'm saying.... |
philboy |
Feb-18-08 10:29 AM |
#136 |
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"And we never know the full story until we walk in the shoes..." |
KansDem |
Feb-18-08 10:42 AM |
#140 |
| -
no shit. |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-18-08 08:35 AM |
#111 |
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Well said. (nt) |
redqueen |
Feb-18-08 09:13 AM |
#116 |
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I guess it depends on how you're defining 'okay.' |
SOteric |
Feb-18-08 10:41 AM |
#137 |
| -
What a great post. |
janesez |
Feb-18-08 10:47 AM |
#142 |
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Cheating is never ok. nt |
Crabby Appleton |
Feb-18-08 05:24 AM |
#104 |
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Sure it is. It's OK if You are Republican |
Joe Bacon |
Feb-18-08 06:11 AM |
#105 |
| -
Hypocrites please stand. |
asteroid2003QQ47 |
Feb-18-08 06:12 AM |
#106 |
| -
John 8. |
Ellen Forradalom |
Feb-18-08 07:07 AM |
#108 |
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i don't do monogamy. |
xchrom |
Feb-18-08 07:33 AM |
#109 |
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same here |
unpossibles |
Feb-18-08 09:56 AM |
#126 |
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yes i do. i am disappionted that you of all people dont understand that people |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-18-08 08:30 AM |
#110 |
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Maybe some of us are judgemental because we have been DAMAGED by this |
turtlensue |
Feb-18-08 08:43 AM |
#113 |
| -
Cheating is ultimately an act of cowardice and selfishness on the part of the cheater... |
Solon |
Feb-18-08 09:13 AM |
#117 |
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Excellent post. And I feel regardless of how much |
Midlodemocrat |
Feb-18-08 12:49 PM |
#147 |
| -
No, it isn't |
EstimatedProphet |
Feb-18-08 08:37 AM |
#112 |
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Don't call it "cheating;" call it "Enhanced Personalizing." |
chromotone |
Feb-18-08 09:05 AM |
#114 |
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only one outcome...public stoning. nt. |
IndianaJones |
Feb-18-08 09:12 AM |
#115 |
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strongly agreed ... |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-18-08 09:17 AM |
#120 |
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its part of my strong judeo-christian traditions. no gray areas for things I deem to be evil. nt. |
IndianaJones |
Feb-18-08 09:26 AM |
#122 |
| -
its part of my high horse religion too |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-18-08 09:28 AM |
#124 |
| -
NOPE !!!!! |
Iggo |
Feb-18-08 09:15 AM |
#118 |
| -
Okay? That's a judgment call. Understandable? I say yes. |
redqueen |
Feb-18-08 09:15 AM |
#119 |
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amen...this subject seems to bring out some very judgmental, narrow thinking. nt. |
IndianaJones |
Feb-18-08 09:28 AM |
#123 |
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I think that's because people imagine it happening TO them, out of context. |
mondo joe |
Feb-18-08 10:05 AM |
#129 |
| -
are you sure public stoning isnt in order? you know the boy who cheated on you when he was 15 |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-18-08 10:14 AM |
#131 |
| -
Who the fuck would dare cheat on me? |
mondo joe |
Feb-18-08 10:15 AM |
#132 |
| -
... |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-18-08 10:15 AM |
#133 |
| -
It's not "okay". But it happens, it can be forgiveable. |
mondo joe |
Feb-18-08 10:00 AM |
#128 |
| -
"The only people who can really judge are the people involved." |
redqueen |
Feb-18-08 12:45 PM |
#146 |
| -
Having been on both ends of the equation.... |
SacredCow |
Feb-18-08 10:42 AM |
#138 |
| -
Good, wise post. I've been told cheating doesn't ruin marriages, ruined marriages lead to cheating. |
mondo joe |
Feb-18-08 10:45 AM |
#141 |
| -
I can get on board with that.... |
SacredCow |
Feb-18-08 11:20 AM |
#143 |
| -
I can understand it, but I don't think that makes it okay ever |
NewJeffCT |
Feb-18-08 12:13 PM |
#144 |
| -
sure we can all think of circumstances where it's okay |
pitohui |
Feb-18-08 12:42 PM |
#145 |
| -
Er, no. |
Chovexani |
Feb-18-08 12:56 PM |
#148 |
| -
bullshit. you know your partner the best and sometimes things are unsaid between people |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-18-08 12:58 PM |
#149 |
| -
Eh, maybe I'm bizarre. |
Chovexani |
Feb-18-08 01:06 PM |
#152 |
| -
no, i wouldnt want to hear about it. what works for you doesn't for others |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-18-08 01:09 PM |
#154 |
| -
Why are you assuming relationships have these "gray" areas? |
Shell Beau |
Feb-18-08 01:23 PM |
#157 |
| -
That is you. And she should probably know that about your relationship. |
Shell Beau |
Feb-18-08 01:13 PM |
#155 |
| -
yeah that is me, and this is my point. different people have different desires |
lionesspriyanka |
Feb-18-08 01:30 PM |
#159 |
| -
Well if the standard of your relationship is not to cheat (which |
Shell Beau |
Feb-18-08 01:31 PM |
#160 |
| -
Exactly. |
Midlodemocrat |
Feb-18-08 01:02 PM |
#150 |
| -
It's not that it's just you... but everyone is not like you. |
redqueen |
Feb-18-08 02:57 PM |
#163 |
| -
you discuss it first? why? to be cruel? |
pitohui |
Feb-18-08 03:56 PM |
#164 |
| -
NO, it is not ok. n/t |
Scout |
Feb-18-08 01:03 PM |
#151 |
| -
It is never ok. Intentionally causing someone else pain that can be helped |
Shell Beau |
Feb-18-08 01:07 PM |
#153 |
| -
"I'm sorry I cheated." "Oh, that's ok." |
GoddessOfGuinness |
Feb-18-08 01:24 PM |
#158 |
| -
All other things being equal... |
LanternWaste |
Feb-18-08 02:16 PM |
#161 |
| -
Only if it's out of spite! |
JVS |
Feb-18-08 10:22 PM |
#168 |
| -
NEVER EVER is it okay |
greenbriar |
Feb-18-08 10:28 PM |
#169 |
| -
By definition, it's not okay. |
Orsino |
Feb-19-08 05:56 AM |
#171 |
| -
No (nt) |
LuckyTheDog |
Feb-19-08 06:33 AM |
#172 |
| -
No, no, no! |
ILovePizza |
Feb-19-08 06:35 AM |
#173 |
| -
I did once... |
sendero |
Feb-19-08 06:43 AM |
#174 |
| -
if you were doing it to prevent from freezing to death |
CreekDog |
Feb-19-08 07:00 AM |
#175 |
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