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Reply #35: I learned this the hard way! [View All]

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chookie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-09-04 03:10 PM
Response to Reply #18
35. I learned this the hard way!
Edited on Mon Feb-09-04 03:13 PM by chookie
There was a porky grad student who was crazy over me. He was a great guy -- so much fun. We used to go out as friends and always had a blast. He found out that I had a crush on some emotionally unavailable guy, and freaked out. "What the HELL is WRONG with women????"

He went off to finish his PhD at an Ivy League school. He achieved highest honors. As a young man, he skyrocketed to the top of his profession.

When I saw him after he returned to town, I was astonished at what a magnificent man he turned out to be. His natural charm and humor were all still there, but he had been polished into a diamond of intellect. To hear him speak, or converse with him was thrilling.

Boy -- did I feel stupid not to have seen him on the radar screen of love.

He brought his wife back to meet up. She was a troll -- silent, sullen, inarticulate.

Eventually she got tired of being married to the rising star of his field of science because he was not earning enough for her, and spending too much time away doing research, and she made him get a job with a corporation.

Those of us who recognized his achievements as a scientist and who saw him as the rising star that he was were devastated. But he chose the love of this woman over the love of his profession.

The funny thing is that as a high-achieving type myself, I am supportive of other high-achieving types and would never think of "domesticating" one, and if I had had the sense to hook up with him, theoretically things might have worked out optimally for both of us. But alas, I was too shallow and stupid. Not that I obsess over this or anything. When you do something stupid, best not to let it bug you too much, but it was a very loud wake-up call concerning my criteria for selecting mates, and I learned well from it.

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  -Women attracted to disfunctional guys chookie  Feb-09-04 01:52 PM   #0 
  - I'm very interested to hear responses on this...  GOPisEvil   Feb-09-04 01:56 PM   #1 
  - Attracted to drama  supernova   Feb-09-04 02:35 PM   #20 
     - "Disclaimer: The above is equally true for men about women. "  GOPisEvil   Feb-09-04 02:45 PM   #25 
        - Being entertaining to oneself...  TXlib   Feb-09-04 02:52 PM   #28 
        - "Entertainment"  supernova   Feb-09-04 02:56 PM   #30 
           - Heh...not just "that" entertainment either.  GOPisEvil   Feb-09-04 02:59 PM   #32 
              - Oh sure  supernova   Feb-09-04 03:08 PM   #34 
              - I've never been a "joined at the hip" kind of person.  GOPisEvil   Feb-09-04 03:11 PM   #36 
                 - I definitely want someone  supernova   Feb-09-04 04:19 PM   #47 
                    - The other part of the Sissyphean struggle...  GOPisEvil   Feb-09-04 05:59 PM   #49 
              - Don't knock the monk haircut. It's making a comeback!  JVS   Feb-09-04 03:12 PM   #37 
                 - Tonsures R Us  supernova   Feb-09-04 03:22 PM   #40 
                    - Not at this time, but I'm thinking of getting one when spring comes  JVS   Feb-09-04 03:24 PM   #41 
  - Remember what Grandpa Simpson said?  WhoCountsTheVotes   Feb-09-04 01:56 PM   #2 
  - Well as a man with a pot belly  Bluzmann57   Feb-09-04 01:57 PM   #3 
  - Was he really a good catch??  Kamika   Feb-09-04 01:57 PM   #4 
  - Good question  chookie   Feb-09-04 02:13 PM   #10 
     - hehe ok  Kamika   Feb-09-04 02:35 PM   #22 
  - Chicks dig jerks  IAmJacksSmirkingRevenge   Feb-09-04 02:00 PM   #5 
  - some advice  JitterbugPerfume   Feb-09-04 02:04 PM   #8 
     - I think I am, actually  chookie   Feb-09-04 02:22 PM   #12 
  - Why does he want her?  Greylady   Feb-09-04 02:02 PM   #6 
  - There's some people that just crave drama...  afraid_of_the_dark   Feb-09-04 02:04 PM   #7 
  - We call this person a "trauma mama".  mac56   Feb-09-04 02:12 PM   #9 
  - It's a good question for men, too...  GoddessOfGuinness   Feb-09-04 02:20 PM   #11 
  - Women tend to "marry their fathers"  TrogL   Feb-09-04 02:23 PM   #13 
  - Bingo  chookie   Feb-09-04 02:32 PM   #16 
  - Yep....I agree with you!  jus_the_facts   Feb-09-04 02:34 PM   #19 
  - Yup  steviet_2003   Feb-09-04 04:11 PM   #46 
  - A bunch of questions for this single lady...  Westegg   Feb-09-04 02:28 PM   #14 
  - I don't think she gets it  chookie   Feb-09-04 02:46 PM   #26 
     - Okay then. This behavior is quite common...  Westegg   Feb-09-04 04:08 PM   #45 
  - Two things...what seems like an attractive man to  cally   Feb-09-04 02:31 PM   #15 
  - Nah, I think women are just like men and we are attracted to..........  pink_poodle   Feb-09-04 02:43 PM   #24 
  - well, of course the pot belly ain't really the issue  KG   Feb-09-04 02:33 PM   #17 
  - What a weird criterion  geniph   Feb-09-04 02:34 PM   #18 
  - I learned this the hard way!  chookie   Feb-09-04 03:10 PM   #35 
  - How many times has she been married?  JVS   Feb-09-04 02:35 PM   #21 
  - Zip  chookie   Feb-09-04 02:52 PM   #29 
     - "one of those people who feel they HAVE to be married"  JVS   Feb-09-04 03:00 PM   #33 
  - I'm attracted to emotionally unavailable guys  MissMillie   Feb-09-04 02:38 PM   #23 
  - An interesting side to your story.........................................  pink_poodle   Feb-09-04 02:51 PM   #27 
  - I have seen this too!  chookie   Feb-09-04 03:36 PM   #42 
     - Yes, once you clue it to these people, you never make the.............  pink_poodle   Feb-09-04 03:46 PM   #44 
  - sounds like low self-esteem  rucky   Feb-09-04 02:56 PM   #31 
  - "Every woman loves a fascist...the boot in the face"  tom_paine   Feb-09-04 03:14 PM   #38 
  - Definition of insanity  camero   Feb-09-04 03:20 PM   #39 
  - I've never had this problem  populistmom   Feb-09-04 03:46 PM   #43 
  - the weight issue  amazona   Feb-09-04 04:41 PM   #48 
  - Well, I'm disfunctional and I'm a nice guy!  HypnoToad   Feb-09-04 06:32 PM   #50 
  - Been there, done that!  latebloomer   Feb-09-04 07:02 PM   #51 

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