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Reply #9: Looks like that one's makin' the rounds [View All]

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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-04-07 03:29 PM
Response to Original message
9. Looks like that one's makin' the rounds
This is the third time I've seen it posted here, and I got it a couple months ago.

I replied with this:



REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE
CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY

6:00 PM
Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM
Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM
Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)

6:45 PM
Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM
Seminar #1: Katherine Harris: "Are Elections Really Necessary?"

7:30 PM
Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan

7:35 PM
Trent Lott: "Re-segregation in the 21st Century"

7:40 PM
EPA Address #1: "Mercury: It's What's for Dinner"

8:00 PM
Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM
Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM
John Ashcroft lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"

8:30 PM
Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)

8:50 PM
Seminar #2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"

9:00 PM
Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM
Phyllis Schlafly speaks: "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"

9:10 PM
EPA Address #2: "Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires"

9:30 PM
Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM
Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM
Carl Rove Lecture: "Doublespeak Made Simple"

10:30 PM
Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: "How to Squint and Talk Macho Even When
You Feel Squishy Inside"

10:35 PM
Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

10:40 PM
John Ashcroft Demonstration: "New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt"

10:45 PM
GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi Rice

10:46 PM
Ann Coulter's Tribute: "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot"

10:50 PM
Seminar #3: "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"

11:10 PM
Hillary Clinton Pinata

11:20 PM
John Ashcroft Lecture: "Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult"

11:30 PM
Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 PM
Blame Clinton

11:40 PM
Newt Gingrich speaks: "The Sanctity of Marriage"

11:41 PM
Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore

11:50 PM
Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12:00 PM
Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord



(I know Falwell's dead, but that probably doesn't matter to them.)

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