Reply #50: I think I would say something --but do it carefully.

[davsand]

I agree with you that this does sound an awful lot like maybe she has some doubts about the marriage.

I think that if it was my friend, I'd probably have a quiet talk with her and I'd just start by asking her what is it that she values about this man and what makes her want to live with him forever.

If she has some pretty good answers (much to your shock) then by all means tell her that you wish her well and you had felt that maybe she had doubts and you wanted to follow up on that rather than let it slide. Make sure she knows you value her and her happiness...

If she says she hasn't a clue why she's marrying the man and that she's worried about the cash invested in this wedding already, you might want to offer up the observation that kids and divorces cost a lot of money too--with even MORE emotional costs than simply canceling a wedding.

I do not envy your position, but I also probably couldn't sit there and let it go unremarked either.

Keep us updated on what you do and how it goes--ok?


Laura