Reply #70: I like this thread

[rockymountaindem]

As a guy, it's helping me understand things. Also, compared to other threads on this topic before, there's a lot less yelling and sex-based bashing. In fact, there's none of that at all.

So, apparently when a woman says a man is nice, she doesn't mean that he's "too nice" for them, just that being nice is the only good thing she can say about him? That makes some sense to me, although I still feel that a lot of women (in my personal experience) stay with guys who aren't nice to them. Case in point, a good friend of mine who complains about her boyfriend all the time but who has kept up with a relationship for over a year in which one day she wants to strangle him and the next day everything's "just fine". From what she tells me about his behavior, I'm surprised she's still with him. I'm talking about a confident, extremely intelligent and outgoing young woman who has had plenty of other boyfriends and has no doubt in her own desireability.

The other day we were talking about another guy friend of hers, about whom she constantly raves. He's really smart, he's into all the same things as she is, he's always there for her, etc (and no, I'm not talking about myself in the third person ) I said, "why don't you dump your boyfriend and go out with him?" Her response: "he's too nice". I got kind of agitated and said words to the effect of "your boyfriend treats you like shit all the time, but this other guy who goes to dance classes with you and *draws pictures for you* all the time is 'to nice'... you're fucked up!" She explained to me that when she said "too nice" she meant that he was always trying to conform to her opinions in an attempt to please her, and that she couldn't have a real conversation with him because he immediately proclaims that she's right about everything and moves on, even when it's obvious he disagrees. That small exchange was a real eye-opener for me, and I can definately understand not wanting to be with someone who acts like an emotional and conversational doormat. I don't think I'll ever have that problem.

I think we should have more threads like this.