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Reply #3: Everything you said, plus RESPECT. [View All]

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Shakespeare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-22-06 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
3. Everything you said, plus RESPECT.
My marriage recently ended, and trust and respect were the two huge issues that caused me to leave.

No matter how angry you are at your spouse, please try never, ever to lash out in an ugly, disrespectful way. That was a one-sided situation with us; if were were fighting about something, I bent over backwards never to call names or do anything else that could be considered below-the-belt. I was called a "fucking cunt" one time too many (along with a few others things that went dramatically bad, such as being expected to support somebody who wanted to stay drunk all day long).

Trust and respect are vital, and no amount of physical affection or wheedling can overcome a lack of it. :-(
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  -What's the secret to a happy marriage? kdsusa  Dec-22-06 12:31 PM   #0 
  - Major drugs  kwassa   Dec-22-06 12:33 PM   #1 
  - You must have dropped in from Craigslist  kdsusa   Dec-22-06 12:35 PM   #2 
  - Sorry, me lounge lizard long time.  kwassa   Dec-22-06 01:13 PM   #15 
  - When Those Quit Working  Southpawkicker   Dec-22-06 08:36 PM   #32 
  - Everything you said, plus RESPECT.  Shakespeare   Dec-22-06 12:36 PM   #3 
  - Happily Married for 33 years  BOSSHOG   Dec-22-06 12:37 PM   #4 
  - trust. absence of fear.  mopinko   Dec-22-06 12:37 PM   #5 
  - your marriage sounds very sweet...and you sound like a lovely individual too.  lionesspriyanka   Dec-22-06 12:38 PM   #6 
  - Separate Domiciles...  RetroLounge   Dec-22-06 12:38 PM   #7 
  - a complete lack of imagination  leftofthedial   Dec-22-06 12:42 PM   #8 
  - Domination and fear  Conan_The_Barbarian   Dec-22-06 12:58 PM   #9 
  - shame and guilt  underpants   Dec-22-06 01:01 PM   #11 
  - Your relationship sounds like how my partner  oktoberain   Dec-22-06 12:59 PM   #10 
  - My point exactly  kdsusa   Dec-22-06 01:11 PM   #13 
  - The secret is to always get in the last word  NewJeffCT   Dec-22-06 01:10 PM   #12 
  - Works for me every time.  BOSSHOG   Dec-22-06 01:13 PM   #14 
  - i prefer "o.k., sweetheart!"  ThinkBlue1966   Dec-22-06 01:22 PM   #17 
  - Somebody on the side. n/t  RedStateShame   Dec-22-06 01:15 PM   #16 
  - Honesty.  Orsino   Dec-22-06 01:29 PM   #18 
  - Mryouthere and I hit 20 years this coming July...  youthere   Dec-22-06 01:31 PM   #19 
  - Treat your SO the way you would want to be treated.  caty   Dec-22-06 01:49 PM   #20 
  - Most things are mentioned but  Corgigal   Dec-22-06 01:58 PM   #21 
  - Make sure your mate gets what he/she wants in bed  BOSSHOG   Dec-22-06 02:14 PM   #22 
  - You love each other.  MISSDem   Dec-22-06 02:16 PM   #23 
  - After 26 years, I Honestly have no idea what works.  m_welby   Dec-22-06 02:24 PM   #24 
  - I've only been married for  petersond   Dec-22-06 02:25 PM   #25 
  - I've always heard that  kdsusa   Dec-22-06 08:32 PM   #30 
  - separate bedrooms  Rosemary2205   Dec-22-06 02:31 PM   #26 
  - Not universal enough  kdsusa   Dec-22-06 08:36 PM   #31 
     - Um  Rosemary2205   Dec-22-06 10:12 PM   #37 
  - I'm in a happy marriage - here's my list  distantearlywarning   Dec-22-06 02:49 PM   #27 
  - Really good stuff  kdsusa   Dec-22-06 08:40 PM   #34 
  - Trust, respect, and a sense of humor! n/t  Mad_Dem_X   Dec-22-06 02:50 PM   #28 
  - The secret is...  Ms_Dem_Meanor   Dec-22-06 05:01 PM   #29 
  - separate bathrooms  ganeshji   Dec-22-06 08:38 PM   #33 
  - For you, but not for us  kdsusa   Dec-22-06 08:51 PM   #35 
     - I agree with you about flexibility.  ganeshji   Dec-22-06 10:52 PM   #43 
  - we're childless also but best friends first and foremost n/t  AZDemDist6   Dec-22-06 09:03 PM   #36 
  - Threesomes n/t  Joey Liberal   Dec-22-06 10:20 PM   #38 
  - Separate checking accounts and credit cards.  femmocrat   Dec-22-06 10:20 PM   #39 
  - Seperate Sheets.....  WCGreen   Dec-22-06 10:30 PM   #40 
  - Three words: Love and listen.  Redstone   Dec-22-06 10:32 PM   #41 
  - After twenty five years of marriage, I've found a very simple formula:  tinfoilinfor2005   Dec-22-06 10:39 PM   #42 
  - My wife is my best friend.  cobalt1999   Dec-22-06 11:05 PM   #44 
  - I think it all boils down to liking how he/she smells...  Zookeeper   Dec-22-06 11:44 PM   #45 
  - A massive mutual sense of delusion.  LaraMN   Dec-22-06 11:46 PM   #46 
  - Blind husband, deaf wife. Or so I've heard.  Porcupine   Dec-23-06 03:45 AM   #47 
  - A wise man once wrote  pokerfan   Dec-23-06 05:04 AM   #48 
  - Relax, enjoy, and live for the time AFTER the wedding.  blondeatlast   Dec-23-06 08:02 AM   #49 

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