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Blue_Roses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-30-03 11:58 AM
Response to Reply #53
90. I disagree
with much of what you say. I guess it's just my work with kids who have been abused that makes me feel this way!

For one. Kids are VERY trusting. That is their nature and they WILL trust someone who is especially kind to them and offer them the "favors" that will entice. Secondly, when a child feels "uncomfortable" that is what we like to call a "gut" feeling, something that deciphers "right" from "wrong" and "weird" from "acceptable." Many children will go out of their way NOT to tell their parents if they think they have been "violated" in anyway because they feel that they are the ones responsible for it. Many parents don't "warn" near enough.

It is not only a parent's RESPONSIBILITY to warn, but it's their LEGAL DUTY. I don't take this subject as lightly as you have in your previous posts and I'm sorry if it seems I am "calling" you on it, but much of your "advice" is wrong. Flat wrong. I've seen this scenerio played out many times in the 10 years of being a Social Worker and where there is "smoke" you can bet there is "fire."
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  -I suspect my neighbor is a pedophile. What do I do? 7blades  Dec-29-03 10:35 AM   #0 
  - Do a background check  Jack_Dawson   Dec-29-03 10:37 AM   #1 
  - He doesn't show up on the Sex Offender Registry but...  7blades   Dec-29-03 10:40 AM   #5 
  - keep a close eye on him and the boy  7th_Sephiroth   Dec-29-03 10:38 AM   #2 
  - call the police or social services this instant.  Bertha Venation   Dec-29-03 10:38 AM   #3 
  - Yes, that is the best course of action,  realpolitik   Dec-29-03 10:44 AM   #9 
     - a "cultral difference"  devrc243   Dec-30-03 11:36 AM   #87 
  - Talk to the boy's parents. It's up to them to protect their child. Alert  radwriter0555   Dec-29-03 10:39 AM   #4 
  - They know. And they're obviously concerned.  7blades   Dec-29-03 10:42 AM   #8 
  - Have Her Talk to Her Kids About Their Bodies  Crisco   Dec-29-03 11:04 AM   #27 
  - Parents often IGNORE signs.  Bertha Venation   Dec-29-03 10:56 AM   #21 
  - I think you're overreacting...  onehandle   Dec-29-03 10:41 AM   #6 
  - They know. They alerted us.  7blades   Dec-29-03 10:47 AM   #11 
     - OK, that is WAY inappropriate  VelmaD   Dec-29-03 10:50 AM   #14 
     - Oh hell call the cops then. that's just NASTY.  radwriter0555   Dec-29-03 10:55 AM   #19 
     - You All Have to Confront the Guy About That  Crisco   Dec-29-03 11:09 AM   #32 
  - By all means  demnan   Dec-29-03 10:42 AM   #7 
  - The boy is, in his own words, "freaked out."  7blades   Dec-29-03 10:45 AM   #10 
     - If the boy is "freaked out"  Muddleoftheroad   Dec-29-03 10:48 AM   #12 
     - Well, if its THAT serious..forget about asking our opinions..  Cannikin   Dec-29-03 10:49 AM   #13 
     - Scare the boy...I scared my son away from a potential pedophile  patdem   Dec-29-03 03:49 PM   #82 
     - that is so inappropriate  devrc243   Dec-30-03 11:40 AM   #88 
  - Try getting to know him b4 deciding. How's his English? Where's he from?  DuctapeFatwa   Dec-29-03 10:53 AM   #15 
  - His English is good. I'm guessing he's from a former British colony.  7blades   Dec-29-03 10:58 AM   #22 
     - The US is pretty unique in this regard. I think both the kid's mom and you  DuctapeFatwa   Dec-29-03 11:07 AM   #30 
        - NEW INFO ON OUR NEIGHBOR.  7blades   Dec-29-03 11:12 AM   #34 
        - Is there a chance that he is learning disabled?  DuctapeFatwa   Dec-29-03 11:24 AM   #38 
           - We're going to have a "talk" with the woman.  7blades   Dec-29-03 11:42 AM   #42 
           - That's great! If she is "taking care of" her brother, she could use some  DuctapeFatwa   Dec-29-03 12:03 PM   #53 
              - I disagree  devrc243   Dec-30-03 11:58 AM   #90 
           - Ductape, everything you said is great advice...  jchild   Dec-29-03 11:46 AM   #45 
              - There's more to it than just holding the child's hand.  7blades   Dec-29-03 11:54 AM   #49 
                 - Perhaps the 8-year-old has been conditioned by his parents to feel  jchild   Dec-29-03 11:59 AM   #51 
                 - I hope you're never faced with this situation...  7blades   Dec-29-03 12:11 PM   #55 
                    - Did you not come here asking for advice???  jchild   Dec-29-03 01:19 PM   #62 
                       - First, of all you attacked me.... secondly, the person is anonymous  7blades   Dec-29-03 02:07 PM   #65 
                          - Please point out where I attacked you.  jchild   Dec-29-03 02:15 PM   #67 
                             - Read your first post where you slammed everyone in my neighborhood.  7blades   Dec-29-03 02:22 PM   #68 
                             - You are wrong...I didn't slam everyone in your neighborhood.  jchild   Dec-29-03 02:44 PM   #71 
                                - I've had others give me similar advice as you without being mean.  7blades   Dec-29-03 02:54 PM   #74 
                                   - Don't have a daughter, but have a small son.  jchild   Dec-29-03 03:10 PM   #77 
                             - I disagree at some point with this,  areschild   Dec-29-03 03:24 PM   #79 
                             - I live in the south  devrc243   Dec-30-03 12:07 PM   #91 
                 - Keep us updated, and thanks, but I am guilty of pre-judging too  DuctapeFatwa   Dec-29-03 12:36 PM   #59 
        - please explain what you mean by this  devrc243   Dec-30-03 11:45 AM   #89 
  - Make something up.  southerngirlwriter   Dec-29-03 10:54 AM   #16 
  - Excuse me?  WillBowden   Dec-29-03 10:59 AM   #23 
  - Spoken like someone  southerngirlwriter   Dec-29-03 11:02 AM   #25 
  - Spoken like...  WillBowden   Dec-29-03 11:04 AM   #28 
  - It is my sincere hope  southerngirlwriter   Dec-29-03 11:09 AM   #33 
     - I'm sorry that those things happened to you,  LibertyChick   Dec-29-03 11:19 AM   #37 
     - This Is Dangerous-Think. Lynch-mob-Think. Vigilante-Think.  arwalden   Dec-29-03 12:23 PM   #58 
     - This is the same mentality that bore the "Satanic Ritual Abuse" scam...  RandomKoolzip   Dec-29-03 02:34 PM   #69 
  - Your example and anecdote has nothing to do with this case...  arwalden   Dec-29-03 11:07 AM   #31 
  - Precisely.  Bertha Venation   Dec-29-03 02:02 PM   #64 
  - No Offense, But  Crisco   Dec-29-03 11:15 AM   #35 
     - Are you insinuating we're bigotted?  7blades   Dec-29-03 11:46 AM   #44 
  - I Found That Suggestion Repulsive Too...  arwalden   Dec-29-03 11:04 AM   #26 
  - Not to mention perjury....  KzooDem   Dec-29-03 12:55 PM   #61 
  - Thanks for your input but that's not an option I'm willing to take.  7blades   Dec-29-03 11:06 AM   #29 
  - Damn, I'm not sure who would be a worse neighbor,  regularguy   Dec-29-03 11:35 AM   #40 
  - I'm not going to join in your insulting.  7blades   Dec-29-03 11:41 AM   #41 
  - Well Jesus Christ on a Stick! Some Goddamn good advice there!  DS1   Dec-29-03 11:47 AM   #46 
  - how about I make something upo about you becuase you sound -----?  private_ryan   Dec-29-03 02:46 PM   #72 
  - Manufacturing evidence is a crime as is filing a false report for arrest  nothingshocksmeanymore   Dec-29-03 02:47 PM   #73 
  - make something up?  Dookus   Dec-29-03 02:57 PM   #75 
  - THANKS EVERYONE! I'm gonna talk to the police.  7blades   Dec-29-03 10:55 AM   #17 
  - That Is Such Bad News  Crisco   Dec-29-03 11:18 AM   #36 
     - Yep...there goes the welcome wagon.  jchild   Dec-29-03 11:51 AM   #48 
        - CORRECTION: We're talking to them and NOT going to the police right now.  7blades   Dec-29-03 11:56 AM   #50 
  - Sounds like a pervo  Loonman   Dec-29-03 10:55 AM   #18 
  - A Few Ideas  tsipple   Dec-29-03 10:56 AM   #20 
  - Good advice. Thanks.  7blades   Dec-29-03 11:00 AM   #24 
     - It is the entire community that holds a responsibility...  rasputin1952   Dec-29-03 11:45 AM   #43 
  - Just some comments  Caution   Dec-29-03 11:34 AM   #39 
  - Completely off the subject but...  7blades   Dec-29-03 11:48 AM   #47 
  - I agree that paranoia slips into the equation...  rasputin1952   Dec-29-03 12:07 PM   #54 
  - Why don't you just go up to him and ask him flat out?  downstairsparts   Dec-29-03 12:00 PM   #52 
  - I would keep and eye out, but really I think you've been watching  deminflorida   Dec-29-03 12:12 PM   #56 
  - Well, being a man I'm not a big fan of Lifetime. ;-)  7blades   Dec-29-03 12:15 PM   #57 
     - I'm not either-and I'm a woman  RationalRose   Dec-29-03 12:40 PM   #60 
  - A direct talk before resort to authorities is an excellent idea  forradalom   Dec-29-03 01:48 PM   #63 
  - Thanks, I'm hopeful we can sort this out without having to go "public."  7blades   Dec-29-03 02:10 PM   #66 
  - you never know  private_ryan   Dec-29-03 02:41 PM   #70 
  - Read this  nothingshocksmeanymore   Dec-29-03 03:07 PM   #76 
  - Thank you NSMA...  Dookus   Dec-29-03 03:22 PM   #78 
  - Why are you trying to inject caution in this thread?  chiburb   Dec-29-03 03:30 PM   #80 
     - Oh I wholeheartedly think he should get the death penalty  nothingshocksmeanymore   Dec-29-03 03:41 PM   #81 
        - good post.  jonnyblitz   Dec-30-03 10:17 AM   #85 
  - kick  TrogL   Dec-30-03 03:51 AM   #83 
  - I think you need to proceed cautiously.  socialdemocrat1981   Dec-30-03 09:35 AM   #84 
  - Thanks. I really appreciate your thoughts.  7blades   Dec-30-03 01:32 PM   #92 
  - I think if the child  cally   Dec-30-03 10:50 AM   #86 
 

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