So, Why did the chicken cross the road?

[The empressof all]

From a funny e-mail


DR. PHIL:
>The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
>must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it
>goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to
>do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
>"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
>
>
>OPRAH:
>Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
>wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
>from his mistakes and take falls,which is a part of life, I'm going to
>give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
>not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
>
>GEORGE W. BUSH:
>We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
>know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
>either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
>
>
>DONALD RUMSFELD:
>Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
>of the chicken crossing the road.
>
>
>ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
>We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
>allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
>
>
>JUDGE JUDY:
>That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in
his
>eyes and the way he walks.
>
>
>PAT BUCHANAN:
>To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>
>
>MARTHA STEWART:
>No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
>standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
>dropped to a certain level.
>
>
>DR SEUSS:
>Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
>chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed
>I've not been told.
>
>
>ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
>To die in the rain. Alone.
>
>
>JERRY FALWELL:
>Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
>front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
>why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
>And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
>all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
>liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
>other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as
>plain and simple as that!
>
>
>GRANDPA:
>In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
>us the chicken crossed the road,
>and that was good enough.
>
>
>BARBARA WALTERS:
>Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
>chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
>experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
>life long dream of crossing the road.
>
>
>JOHN LENNON:
>Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.
>
>
>ARISTOTLE:
>It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
>
>BILL GATES:
>I have just released eChicken2006,which will not only cross roads, but
>will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
>book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform
>is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.
>
>
>ALBERT EINSTEIN:
>Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
>chicken?
>

>
>COLONEL SANDERS:
>Did I miss one?

>