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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-31-06 06:54 PM
Response to Original message
29. Detachment
You ignore everything they say, they are a crazy person. You write down your own goals, daily, weekly, monthly. To get it clear in your mind. Then when they start with their manipulative stuff, you tell yourself it's manipulative stuff from a crazy person, and then tell the crazy person what you are going to be doing that day, or where something fits into your agenda that you set. And then you walk away and go back to work. And say "I'm doing such, you will have to handle xxx."

Which is one reason I say we need to stop engaging with the nutty right wingers, it's just a distraction and most of it is intentional on their part. You get healthy by detaching and setting your own agenda. They either come along or go find somebody else to play their sick game.
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  -Have you ever worked or lived with a sociopath? MyPetRock  Mar-31-06 06:10 PM   #0 
  - Sociopath no, narcissist yes  undeterred   Mar-31-06 06:13 PM   #1 
  - I am a special ed teacher  proud2Blib   Mar-31-06 06:14 PM   #2 
  - No, but I have a pResident who is one. n/t  rzemanfl   Mar-31-06 06:14 PM   #3 
  - Yes  blue cat   Mar-31-06 06:15 PM   #4 
  - Unfortunately, I raised one.  China_cat   Mar-31-06 06:17 PM   #5 
  - Say what?  iconoclastic cat   Mar-31-06 08:46 PM   #43 
     - No, my youngest is a sociopath  China_cat   Apr-01-06 06:58 AM   #66 
        - Wow that is terrible.  NNadir   Apr-01-06 08:09 PM   #95 
        - I feel for you. My younger sister is a sociopath too  Lorien   Apr-02-06 10:01 AM   #106 
  - yup  stellanoir   Mar-31-06 06:18 PM   #6 
  - Worked for one.  hippiechick   Mar-31-06 06:18 PM   #7 
  - I KNOW I have PTSD now.  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 06:40 PM   #17 
     - You will, but do get help ...  hippiechick   Mar-31-06 06:49 PM   #25 
        - Thanks!  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 06:52 PM   #27 
  - I actually lived with R-Wing sociopath.  Rainscents   Mar-31-06 06:18 PM   #8 
  - I suspect that I was married to one ....  etherealtruth   Mar-31-06 06:19 PM   #9 
  - Beware and watch the drama esp. the closer you get to leaving  MichiganVote   Mar-31-06 06:21 PM   #10 
  - yes. get a calendar and mark it backwards with today being day  roguevalley   Mar-31-06 06:22 PM   #11 
  - I have marked my calendar with countdown days.  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 07:02 PM   #30 
  - No, but my brother worked for the "prosac poster-boy"  Mind_your_head   Mar-31-06 06:22 PM   #12 
  - You worked with one?  DinoBoy   Mar-31-06 06:23 PM   #13 
  - Do you have any sick leave left  janeaustin   Mar-31-06 06:30 PM   #14 
  - I've worked for two of them!  Daphne08   Mar-31-06 06:34 PM   #15 
  - How did you cope?  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 06:40 PM   #18 
     - Visualize the wonderful days you'll have when you retire.  northofdenali   Mar-31-06 06:46 PM   #20 
     - Thank you!  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 06:49 PM   #24 
     - I was on antidepressants for several years.  Daphne08   Mar-31-06 06:48 PM   #21 
        - I would have to go on them if I were dealing with more than 2 months.  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 08:00 PM   #36 
  - Thank you all so much for the replies!  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 06:36 PM   #16 
  - You are not alone.....  Darth_Kitten   Mar-31-06 07:54 PM   #33 
     - That website is sooo helpful.  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 03:31 AM   #63 
  - Yes - Your situation sounds exactly like mine. I ended up leaving  ourbluenation   Mar-31-06 06:42 PM   #19 
  - most successful businesspeople could be described as one  TheBaldyMan   Mar-31-06 06:48 PM   #22 
  - Lol! That would definitely get her goat!  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 03:26 AM   #61 
     - It's worth a try and you might earn her grudging respect by the  TheBaldyMan   Apr-01-06 09:50 AM   #77 
  - yup, worked w/one - you'll make it!  katty   Mar-31-06 06:48 PM   #23 
  - I'm related to one..  Virginia Dare   Mar-31-06 06:51 PM   #26 
  - Oh, yes. Just take it a day at a time.  Buns_of_Fire   Mar-31-06 06:53 PM   #28 
  - Detachment  sandnsea   Mar-31-06 06:54 PM   #29 
  - Sometimes, I fear I am one:  Random_Australian   Mar-31-06 07:46 PM   #31 
  - Wow. I think it's wonderful you are aware and in control of that.  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 07:58 PM   #34 
  - Something inborn, definately, but the method  Random_Australian   Mar-31-06 08:37 PM   #41 
  - With my son  China_cat   Apr-01-06 07:10 AM   #67 
     - There has been a lot of research into sociopathy.  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 08:02 AM   #71 
  - You may not like to hear this, my friend, but you worship the  KCabotDullesMarxIII   Apr-01-06 03:59 PM   #84 
  - Actually a few believe it or not...  Darth_Kitten   Mar-31-06 07:49 PM   #32 
  - And in business situations they seem to be power mad,  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 07:59 PM   #35 
     - Very insecure individuals....  Darth_Kitten   Mar-31-06 08:03 PM   #38 
        - They are insecure. Their MO is to project on others so they feel better  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 08:10 PM   #39 
        - It's insecurity from bieng so unlike others.  Random_Australian   Mar-31-06 09:55 PM   #47 
        - Don't forget incompetent....  philosophie_en_rose   Mar-31-06 10:13 PM   #51 
  - Yep. Was involved personally with one for two years.  SeattleGirl   Mar-31-06 08:01 PM   #37 
  - there's a suspected one in our department ...  Lisa   Mar-31-06 08:14 PM   #40 
  - I can't imagine having 3+ years more of this shit.  MyPetRock   Mar-31-06 08:40 PM   #42 
     - some sociopaths seem to have an uncanny aptitude for the system  Lisa   Mar-31-06 08:52 PM   #44 
  - Are people being hyperbolic with the term "sociopath"?  iconoclastic cat   Mar-31-06 08:58 PM   #45 
  - The key is all those things  China_cat   Apr-01-06 07:16 AM   #68 
  - Hang in there  chookie   Mar-31-06 09:25 PM   #46 
  - What a great website!  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 03:01 AM   #56 
  - Hell, I've BEEN one. Try living with THAT.  Redstone   Mar-31-06 09:56 PM   #48 
  - Fuck yes  MrScorpio   Mar-31-06 09:58 PM   #49 
  - you know, maybe I have now that I think of it  leftofthedial   Mar-31-06 10:00 PM   #50 
  - I've worked/lived with individuals with myriad diagnoses,  BuffyTheFundieSlayer   Mar-31-06 11:08 PM   #52 
  - Yes.  haruka3_2000   Mar-31-06 11:51 PM   #53 
  - Mostly on DU  ZombyWoof   Apr-01-06 12:03 AM   #54 
  - Bingo!  MrsGrumpy   Apr-02-06 10:02 AM   #107 
  - I worked at a company where fully a third of the managers were  hedgehog   Apr-01-06 01:01 AM   #55 
  - This is some thread, hedgehog! You know, the deeper the  KCabotDullesMarxIII   Apr-01-06 04:15 PM   #85 
  - I think my ex-wife was sociopathic.  CanuckAmok   Apr-01-06 03:08 AM   #57 
  - Is this a Gov't job, or a private sector job?  file83   Apr-01-06 03:14 AM   #58 
  - It's a school.  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 03:20 AM   #59 
     - Does she treat the students the same way? There has to be someway  file83   Apr-01-06 04:19 AM   #64 
     - There has been an organized attempt.  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 05:02 AM   #65 
        - Another thought is to look for support from the PTA members.  kwassa   Apr-01-06 08:43 PM   #98 
     - Principals are like the kings of their domains  kwassa   Apr-01-06 08:41 PM   #97 
        - The thing is I really want to retire.  MyPetRock   Apr-02-06 07:11 AM   #102 
           - You can last through two months of anything.  kwassa   Apr-02-06 09:32 AM   #104 
              - Oh yes. It's not just me. I've talked to some of her other victims.  MyPetRock   Apr-02-06 09:39 AM   #105 
                 - Take comfort in not being alone in this  kwassa   Apr-02-06 11:01 AM   #109 
  - Married one, worked for more than one.  mykpart   Apr-01-06 03:23 AM   #60 
  - ...  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 03:27 AM   #62 
     - Treat yourself to a massage.  China_cat   Apr-01-06 07:19 AM   #69 
        - That's my daughter's suggestion also.  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 07:22 AM   #70 
  - Just keep plugging away.  mutley_r_us   Apr-01-06 08:07 AM   #72 
  - I really appreciate these stories of workplace survival.  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 09:02 AM   #73 
  - was married to one...  wildhorses   Apr-01-06 09:04 AM   #74 
  - My boss is one -- and yes, I do mean that literally  LostinVA   Apr-01-06 09:05 AM   #75 
  - OMG, you've got 10 years to go?  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 11:10 AM   #80 
     - I may start drinking at work...  LostinVA   Apr-01-06 06:54 PM   #91 
  - Yes. Get out. Leave.  suegeo   Apr-01-06 09:16 AM   #76 
  - I'm under contract until the end of the year.  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 11:09 AM   #79 
  - I had a sociopathic boss  TrogL   Apr-01-06 11:06 AM   #78 
  - Yes, and all I can say is, "Time wounds all heels, and heals all wounds"  mgdecombe   Apr-01-06 01:11 PM   #81 
  - Hearing your story helps so much.  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 01:52 PM   #82 
     - I worked for a sociopath/boss about 15 years ago  salin   Apr-01-06 04:21 PM   #86 
     - This is very similar to my experience  mgdecombe   Apr-01-06 08:58 PM   #100 
     - Remember that she feels more alone than you are.  mgdecombe   Apr-01-06 08:45 PM   #99 
  - Never worked or lived with one, thank God  spinbaby   Apr-01-06 03:15 PM   #83 
  - you just hang in there read my story below you'll feel better  Kathryn STone   Apr-01-06 04:33 PM   #87 
  - WooHoo...  salin   Apr-01-06 04:50 PM   #88 
  - Yeah, I worked for one. Then I quit as I knew it would never get  barb162   Apr-01-06 05:03 PM   #89 
  - I may have worked with a sociopath  twenty4blackbirds   Apr-01-06 05:47 PM   #90 
  - I think I lived with one. There's a challenge after you leave.  Sparkly   Apr-01-06 06:58 PM   #92 
  - How free I'll be....  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 07:21 PM   #93 
     - Just make sure you get that person out of your HEAD, too, MPR.  Sparkly   Apr-01-06 08:01 PM   #94 
        - It will take awhile. Right now I'm pretty obsessed, as everybody can tell  MyPetRock   Apr-01-06 08:13 PM   #96 
  - It's amazing how many......  Jade Fox   Apr-01-06 09:53 PM   #101 
  - I do like that visualization exercise.  MyPetRock   Apr-02-06 07:52 AM   #103 
  - A former sibling.  bikebloke   Apr-02-06 10:14 AM   #108 
 

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