Reply #81: So many thoughts come to mind here

[TallahasseeGrannie]

First, I had my first child at 21. I was married and had a job but no savings, my husband was in school, we were in debt. We were young, in love and rather stupid. But that baby grew us up very quickly because we were also rather spoiled. I was the baby in my family by 12 years and he was an only child of parents who just barely escaped the ovens in Germany. The responsibility of a baby took us right out of the "sleep til noon" set we were traveling in and Woodstock was but a vague memory. (well, I didn't remember much of it anyway but that's another thread all together) A baby propelled us into the world of routine, schedule, and thriftiness. It took us about 25 years to fully arrive there, and by that time they were gone. OUT of here! And we were only 40.

But...they came back. My daughter married at 21 and her husband was in management at a grocery store and he made a lot of money (50K +) but hated it. She was in retail and made about 30K. But they weren't happy. At the time we were in business together (florist) and were really putting out more than we were making and my son-in-law asked if we'd help him go back to school. We closed the shop and used the money to that end, and they moved in with us. He is in premed fulltime and almost done, has a 4.0 GPA. She got pregnant (pill failure) and at that point we said you might as well move in here and then you won't have to go out to work. For us, it works well. She has two young children, under 3. We converted the garage. She keeps the house and the kids. My husband and I bring home the money. My son in law does the yard work, fixes the cars and gets the good grades. We pool our money. They have help with the kids and the kids have the advantage of four adults. It is a bit crowded, but we are organized to the hilt. Kind of like living on a boat. Everything has a place.

So I guess what I'm getting at is the old model of the extended family has a lot to offer if you can work at it together.

The concept of somehow not allowing people to breed, while utopian, makes me uncomfortable because it is pretty much fascism in reverse. Or not so reversed.

And one last thing...as a teacher of 34 years, some of the biggest stinkers I have EVER taught were the children of older, well-off parents. While some of the lovliest kids are the product of five kids and struggling parents. Those kids "get" life and are not "entitled" in their attitudes towards things.