Reply #47: It's extraordinarily inconsiderate to bring a gift to the wedding

[geniph]

because then someone has to be delegated to watch the pile of loot, and can't enjoy the reception. It also becomes some kind of weird competition thing to see who can amass the largest pile of stuff on the table at the reception. (And I won't even start in on formal receptions where they OPEN THE GIFTS at the reception! Urgh! That's perfectly appropriate at casual weddings, but not a big catered hotel to-do with all the trimmings - it's tacky!)

It's become quite the accepted thing to bring gifts to the reception, but it's still not right. However, people now simply have a table at every reception to pile the stuff on, and look askance at you if you come without a package. It's amazing how many people don't know the etiquette of gifts. Then again, when was the last time you got a thank-you card for any gift you provided? (MY pet peeve!)

Any occasion where guests will be seated at a table or there will be a set number of plates requires an RSVP. Anyone who doesn't RSVP shouldn't be admitted. Anyone who RSVPs and then doesn't show without notification shouldn't be invited again, unless they have a REALLY good excuse. It's incredible rudeness to force a host to guess at the number of portions, favors, whatever, that will be required and then stick them with useless extras that they have to pay for, or worse yet, leave them embarrassingly short.