You are viewing an obsolete version of the DU website which is no longer supported by the Administrators. Visit The New DU.
Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Reply #5: this is my experience, too [View All]

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
StellaBlue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-13-06 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. this is my experience, too
my parents are divorced, and one of them and my step-parent are, largely, happily married. But I think it's more about comfort zones and the desperate clingy love that develops over time (well at least it did for me with my ex - like we had bought into this scheme and had to stick with, had had had to make it work even though it clearly wasn't). They also argue quite a lot and both bitch about the other when I am alone with them, blaming the other for the problems and dissatisfactions in their life. One of them told me once that the other had pressured them into marriage, too, which I thought was telling. To me, marriage is, in a practical sense, a way to try to bend someone to your will. If that makes sense. At least that's my experience of it. I can think of two people I know how claim to be happily married and have been so for many years. Two. Out of hundreds of couples I know.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
  -Anyone else here come to the conclusion that they don't want to marry? StellaBlue  Jan-12-06 11:43 PM   #0 
  - most marriages end up being traps  Madrone   Jan-12-06 11:56 PM   #1 
  - Unfortunately, I am attracted to men  StellaBlue   Jan-13-06 12:08 AM   #4 
  - A series of male companions...  Madrone   Jan-13-06 12:24 AM   #8 
  - Good thing you told me you hate marriage  aclog   Jan-13-06 11:20 AM   #39 
  - if you look at the statistics  hfojvt   Jan-13-06 12:48 AM   #12 
     - the only thing that really worries/annoys me  StellaBlue   Jan-13-06 12:59 AM   #14 
        - That's not necessarily true.  GOPisEvil   Jan-13-06 10:01 AM   #35 
           - no offense meant, but...  StellaBlue   Jan-13-06 01:45 PM   #51 
              - Yikes!  GOPisEvil   Jan-13-06 01:48 PM   #52 
                 - I want to buy a house  StellaBlue   Jan-13-06 02:00 PM   #54 
                    - Well, I see what you mean, but...  GOPisEvil   Jan-13-06 02:03 PM   #55 
  - Good. I'm not alone either then.  the dogfish   Jan-13-06 12:01 AM   #2 
  - this is my experience, too  StellaBlue   Jan-13-06 12:11 AM   #5 
  - I've never wanted to marry.  Starbucks Anarchist   Jan-13-06 12:07 AM   #3 
  - oh, but there IS  StellaBlue   Jan-13-06 12:12 AM   #6 
     - Well, I might marry for tax purposes.  Starbucks Anarchist   Jan-13-06 12:25 AM   #9 
  - well I am an old bachelor  hfojvt   Jan-13-06 12:20 AM   #7 
  - I fully share your feeling on work, retirement, etc.  StellaBlue   Jan-13-06 12:41 AM   #11 
  - The rest I agree with you on  aclog   Jan-13-06 11:26 AM   #41 
     - You got that backwards  hfojvt   Jan-13-06 01:05 PM   #50 
        - Thats a reaaaaaaaalllly bad take on NSA :D  aclog   Jan-13-06 04:30 PM   #59 
  - Never Married; Never Wanted to Be  REP   Jan-13-06 12:31 AM   #10 
  - I liked it, though my own has been a failure.  jobycom   Jan-13-06 12:52 AM   #13 
  - thanks for the well-thought-out input  StellaBlue   Jan-13-06 01:05 AM   #17 
  - that was very good  hfojvt   Jan-13-06 12:51 PM   #49 
  - Good Topic!  Maine Mary   Jan-13-06 01:04 AM   #15 
  - I don't see myself marrying either  Indy_Dem_Defender   Jan-13-06 01:04 AM   #16 
  - I am 39 years old  Popol Vuh   Jan-13-06 01:40 AM   #18 
  - perhaps not marriage in the "traditional" sense...  WindRavenX   Jan-13-06 01:48 AM   #19 
  - upon my recent divorce  leftofthedial   Jan-13-06 02:01 AM   #20 
  - Most marriages today  Justice Is Comin   Jan-13-06 03:12 AM   #21 
  - Oh, suff ring!  aclog   Jan-13-06 04:56 PM   #62 
  - Never fucking ever again. Ever.  RetroLounge   Jan-13-06 07:06 AM   #22 
  - maybe you'll change your mind  threehensandacow   Jan-13-06 10:13 PM   #64 
     - That must be one hell of a black dress  RetroLounge   Jan-14-06 08:29 AM   #65 
  - When I was your age  Gormy Cuss   Jan-13-06 07:33 AM   #23 
  - Six years into my second one  Ellen Forradalom   Jan-13-06 07:37 AM   #24 
  - Defnitely very gun shy  supernova   Jan-13-06 07:38 AM   #25 
  - I don't see it again  RazzleCat   Jan-13-06 07:47 AM   #27 
  - Been there, done that!  raccoon   Jan-13-06 09:19 AM   #32 
  - Getting married just to be married to SOMEONE is dumb.  kick-ass-bob   Jan-13-06 07:39 AM   #26 
  - I just feel that, even now, as a woman  StellaBlue   Jan-13-06 01:53 PM   #53 
  - I have no desire to marry unless....  LynneSin   Jan-13-06 07:50 AM   #28 
  - I hope that you change your mind someday about kids  mongo   Jan-13-06 11:20 AM   #38 
     - Nah, that would require me doing all that messy stuff like diaper  LynneSin   Jan-13-06 12:35 PM   #48 
        - You're not selfish---you made a choice.  GrumpyGreg   Jan-13-06 02:04 PM   #56 
           - From One GG to another....thanks  GalleryGod   Jan-13-06 02:15 PM   #57 
  - No. I actually went BACK and tried it again. Voila!  GalleryGod   Jan-13-06 08:25 AM   #29 
  - Little acknowledged fact  Lurking_Argyle   Jan-13-06 09:11 AM   #30 
  - I'm in my mid-fifties, never married.  raccoon   Jan-13-06 09:13 AM   #31 
  - I especially agree with the last line in your post.  the dogfish   Jan-13-06 08:13 PM   #63 
  - I'm with you on this one. Never wanted to breed and hate the  greyhound1966   Jan-13-06 09:58 AM   #33 
  - Not so much that I don't want to, necessarily. But, if I never get married  GOPisEvil   Jan-13-06 10:00 AM   #34 
  - I swore up and down I'd never get married  kedrys   Jan-13-06 11:09 AM   #36 
  - I decided long ago...  Hell Hath No Fury   Jan-13-06 11:12 AM   #37 
  - Don't think it will happen for me  bikebloke   Jan-13-06 11:23 AM   #40 
  - Im not allowed to get married to the people I want to marry  MadAsHellNewYorker   Jan-13-06 11:34 AM   #42 
  - I married for the first time at age 47, and it has worked well for me.  kwassa   Jan-13-06 11:43 AM   #43 
  - the marriage concept is predicated  datasuspect   Jan-13-06 12:22 PM   #44 
  - re  StellaBlue   Jan-14-06 11:43 AM   #72 
  - Yes.  southlandshari   Jan-13-06 12:23 PM   #45 
  - add another to the list  LSK   Jan-13-06 12:30 PM   #46 
  - yeah, but it took me a divorce to realise it.  CanuckAmok   Jan-13-06 12:33 PM   #47 
  - I had to go and try it first, f*** it  ForrestGump   Jan-13-06 02:43 PM   #58 
  - Took us 25 years of living together to get married 5(?) years ago  graywarrior   Jan-13-06 04:32 PM   #60 
  - I'm only a teen, so of course what I think will probably change.  WritingIsMyReligion   Jan-13-06 04:42 PM   #61 
  - I probably would  lizziegrace   Jan-14-06 08:59 AM   #66 
  - Yes, but I married and my husband loves me  Nikia   Jan-14-06 10:18 AM   #67 
  - You're probably not going to like what I am about to say....  MrsGrumpy   Jan-14-06 10:31 AM   #68 
  - that's great for you  StellaBlue   Jan-14-06 11:36 AM   #71 
  - My point I guess was (not finding the right man not open minded)  MrsGrumpy   Jan-14-06 11:44 AM   #73 
     - thanks for the post  StellaBlue   Jan-14-06 11:54 AM   #74 
     - I didn't think I was cheerleading. I thought I was projecting the reality  MrsGrumpy   Jan-14-06 12:00 PM   #75 
     - and  StellaBlue   Jan-14-06 12:02 PM   #76 
        - I take things for what they are until they aren't. But, one can still  MrsGrumpy   Jan-14-06 12:03 PM   #77 
  - Wow  GirlinContempt   Jan-14-06 12:28 PM   #79 
     - It took much stupidity on my part and a very long time as well.  MrsGrumpy   Jan-14-06 02:09 PM   #81 
  - Yes.  C_eh_N_eh_D_eh   Jan-14-06 10:40 AM   #69 
  - Yes.  hippiechick   Jan-14-06 11:03 AM   #70 
  - Between the ages of 18 and 20  NV Whino   Jan-14-06 12:12 PM   #78 
  - I've been sure most of my life that marriage is a road I won't travel.  Ladyhawk   Jan-14-06 12:41 PM   #80 
 

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC