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Reply #20: sometimes i go to her grave and talk to her [View All]

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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-10-05 04:30 PM
Response to Original message
20. sometimes i go to her grave and talk to her
Her grave is unmarked, in a Catholic cemetery in Huntington Beach. I don't know why her grave is unmarked or why she was buried in a Catholic cemetery. She wasn't Catholic. I suspect the reason her grave is unmarked is because my stepfather had to borrow or steal to get her buried. Probably my grandmother (paternal) paid for the burial.

I tell her about her grandchildren, and about how I overcame how she and her choices completely fucked me up until I got help. I tell her she's forgiven. I wonder: if she could hear me, would she react to that the way my father does? How would she react? I'll never know.

It's a cliche to get introspective like this on anniversaries, but who cares? That's me.

I haven't gone to her grave in about eight years.
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  -a photo of my mother, on the 31st anniversary of her death bertha katzenengel  Dec-10-05 01:09 PM   #0 
  - May she rest in peace  TallahasseeGrannie   Dec-10-05 01:26 PM   #1 
  - you brought tears to my eyes  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 01:36 PM   #5 
     - Oh gosh...I didn't mean to do THAT  TallahasseeGrannie   Dec-10-05 02:12 PM   #16 
        - Yes, it was a good thing.  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 02:32 PM   #17 
  - Thank you  auntAgonist   Dec-10-05 01:31 PM   #2 
  - just me  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 01:37 PM   #6 
  - Wow, Bertha  LeftyMom   Dec-10-05 01:32 PM   #3 
  - orange t-shirt  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 01:38 PM   #7 
  - thanks for sharing bertha  sundog   Dec-10-05 01:33 PM   #4 
  - sundog  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 01:39 PM   #8 
  - I'm going to hell for this  Commie Pinko Dirtbag   Dec-10-05 01:39 PM   #9 
  - *blink*  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 01:41 PM   #10 
     - The whole enchilada:  Commie Pinko Dirtbag   Dec-10-05 03:28 PM   #19 
     - Wha....?  Richardo   Dec-12-05 09:05 AM   #32 
  - Sending you my love on this anniversary...  Misunderestimator   Dec-10-05 01:42 PM   #11 
  - yes, that's me  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 01:48 PM   #12 
  - Thank you for sharing this moment and your feelings with us...  Left Is Write   Dec-10-05 01:50 PM   #13 
  - I am surrounded by remarkable women on DU, L-W  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 04:35 PM   #22 
  - I'm glad you are in a much better place now  supernova   Dec-10-05 01:52 PM   #14 
  - thank you, supernova  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 04:38 PM   #23 
  - Thank you for sharing this...  RetroLounge   Dec-10-05 02:05 PM   #15 
  - RL  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 04:38 PM   #24 
  - theres nothing i can give you  faithnotgreed   Dec-10-05 03:25 PM   #18 
  - fng  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 04:39 PM   #25 
  - sometimes i go to her grave and talk to her  bertha katzenengel   Dec-10-05 04:30 PM   #20 
  - Because of her, or in spite of her...  MrsGrumpy   Dec-10-05 04:32 PM   #21 
  - Damn  Misunderestimator   Dec-10-05 05:08 PM   #27 
  - hey, you beautiful woman....  progmom   Dec-10-05 05:03 PM   #26 
  - *great big hug*  GreenPartyVoter   Dec-10-05 05:08 PM   #28 
  - Sending big hugs your way today.............  Bullwinkle925   Dec-10-05 05:31 PM   #29 
  - May she rest in peace and may she find peace wherever she is now  socialdemocrat1981   Dec-10-05 08:09 PM   #30 
  - Your last line sums it up, Bertha!  bigwillq   Dec-11-05 11:27 AM   #31 
  - I hope you find your answers, B.K.  CBHagman   Dec-12-05 09:08 AM   #33 

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