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jmatthan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-30-05 02:58 PM
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16. Thank you for sharing this
I understand the trauma you have been through. May your mother now rest in peace. I hope that you can start to relax your own life a little knowing you did all in your power to see her life was happy when she was in your care.

My wife is the caregiver for her 85 year old mother who has dementia. (We have both taken early retirement at reduced pension, but we are comfortably off.)

It is a full time responsibility, but luckily in Finland they give my mother-in-law 10 days in an Old People's Home so that my wife and I can get some rest.

Mother-in-law is happy at home and because of home care, the dementia has not deteriorated over the last 5 years and we have been able to take her off ALL medication. All she has are vitamins and supplements.

The problem in the Old People's Home is that they have to get things done, so the timings are strict. Whereas, at home mother-in-law can get up when she wants, eat when she wants, sleep when she wants - so she is happy at all times.

Our prayers are with you at this time.

Jacob Matthan
Oulu, Finland
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  -Been caring for mom for twenty years. She died Thursday. Festivito  Jul-30-05 02:33 PM   #0 
  - You are a saint  WatchWhatISay   Jul-30-05 02:36 PM   #1 
  - you are what helps make this world go round.  William769   Jul-30-05 03:30 PM   #23 
  - I'm sorry for her and your suffering and admire your love  IChing   Jul-30-05 02:36 PM   #2 
  - I'm in awe of you and your story.  flamingyouth   Jul-30-05 02:38 PM   #3 
  - Extremely tough situation.  Maestro   Jul-30-05 02:39 PM   #4 
  - My heartfelt condolences to you  auntAgonist   Jul-30-05 02:40 PM   #5 
  - thoughts  Parche   Jul-30-05 02:40 PM   #6 
  - Loss of Mother  auntAgonist   Jul-30-05 02:42 PM   #9 
  - I admire your patience and your love.  JimmyJazz   Jul-30-05 02:42 PM   #7 
  - My sincere condolence - may her soul rest in peace  mazzarro   Jul-30-05 02:42 PM   #8 
  - "Your a saint"  Old_Fart   Jul-30-05 02:43 PM   #10 
  - ((((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))  merh   Jul-30-05 02:44 PM   #11 
  - I'm fuckin' crying with you. You did all you could...  BikeWriter   Jul-30-05 02:47 PM   #12 
  - I'm so sorry!  mutley_r_us   Jul-30-05 02:47 PM   #13 
  - Birth, illness and death  Kali   Jul-30-05 02:48 PM   #14 
  - Culural shift to the "rule of law" versus the idea of justice.  Festivito   Jul-30-05 03:13 PM   #20 
     - I agree - the science and technology  Kali   Jul-31-05 06:04 PM   #76 
  - I'm so sorry for your loss  proud patriot   Jul-30-05 02:49 PM   #15 
  - Thank you for sharing this  jmatthan   Jul-30-05 02:58 PM   #16 
  - Finland's system sounds wonderful.  Festivito   Jul-30-05 03:29 PM   #22 
  - don't know what to say, Festivito  bertha katzenengel   Jul-30-05 02:59 PM   #17 
  - You have my most heart felt sympathy. May she rest in peace...  Kahuna   Jul-30-05 03:11 PM   #18 
  - Same story my hubby went through with his Mom...  readmylips   Jul-30-05 03:11 PM   #19 
  - And, he's lucky to have you, being supportive.  Festivito   Jul-30-05 03:39 PM   #24 
  - My deepest sympathies. I read the whole thing, and I cannot believe  mgdecombe   Jul-30-05 03:14 PM   #21 
  - Oh my God.  Bouncy Ball   Jul-30-05 03:44 PM   #25 
  - what love  faithnotgreed   Jul-30-05 03:45 PM   #26 
  - You are an Angel!  maveric   Jul-30-05 03:46 PM   #27 
  - I am so sorry for you and your family  Darth_Kitten   Jul-30-05 03:51 PM   #28 
  - Thank you to all kind Saturday DUers.  Festivito   Jul-30-05 03:55 PM   #29 
  - So very sorry, Festivito.  Misunderestimator   Jul-30-05 03:56 PM   #30 
  - Sorry for your loss ......  Historic NY   Jul-30-05 04:06 PM   #31 
  - Aw, Festivito!  Lydia Leftcoast   Jul-30-05 04:12 PM   #32 
  - My condolensces and hugs to you...  RetroLounge   Jul-30-05 04:18 PM   #33 
  - My father died yesterday  Lady President   Jul-30-05 04:22 PM   #34 
  - LadyPresident  auntAgonist   Jul-30-05 06:10 PM   #38 
  - I am so sorry about your father....  greatauntoftriplets   Jul-30-05 06:11 PM   #40 
  - I am sorry for your loss.  peacebuzzard   Jul-30-05 09:37 PM   #55 
  - I'm certain they have found their peace.  Festivito   Jul-30-05 11:10 PM   #59 
  - After some time  hyphenate   Jul-30-05 04:24 PM   #35 
  - It would be hard to sue.  Festivito   Jul-30-05 11:23 PM   #61 
  - You did everything right  Spinzonner   Jul-30-05 04:25 PM   #36 
  - I suggest that you hold your head high. You did well.  Festivito   Jul-30-05 11:49 PM   #63 
  - What a wonderful example of love.  OhioBlues   Jul-30-05 04:33 PM   #37 
  - Festivito...I first read your post several hours ago....  greatauntoftriplets   Jul-30-05 06:10 PM   #39 
  - Bless you.  Festivito   Jul-31-05 12:11 AM   #65 
     - Bless you as have done far more than I have....  greatauntoftriplets   Jul-31-05 06:08 PM   #77 
  - i'm so sorry for your loss. you did an amazing job despite social services  bettyellen   Jul-30-05 07:00 PM   #41 
  - Wow, that was blatent of the rehab and hospital.  Festivito   Jul-31-05 12:17 AM   #66 
     - they kept forcing me into meetings...  bettyellen   Jul-31-05 09:21 AM   #74 
  - bless you  leftofthedial   Jul-30-05 07:05 PM   #42 
  - Best to you and peace  benny05   Jul-30-05 07:08 PM   #43 
  - Oh gosh, I'm so sorry.  Bunny   Jul-30-05 07:08 PM   #44 
  - Bless you Festivito  lumberingbear   Jul-30-05 07:22 PM   #45 
  - What a great good long life  sweetheart   Jul-30-05 07:29 PM   #46 
  - Okay. What's a bardo?  Festivito   Jul-31-05 12:20 AM   #67 
     - Bardo is  sweetheart   Jul-31-05 07:06 AM   #71 
  - I'm So, So Sorry For Your Loss & Everything You Had to Go Through  AuntiBush   Jul-30-05 07:32 PM   #47 
  - Wow. You've really been through a lot....  arwalden   Jul-30-05 07:34 PM   #48 
  - Festivito, your mom knew how much you were there  babylonsister   Jul-30-05 07:37 PM   #49 
  - That is an incredible story. I'm so sorry for your loss.  tibbir   Jul-30-05 08:21 PM   #50 
  - there are not words for the good that caregivers do. I am so very  roguevalley   Jul-30-05 08:57 PM   #51 
  - Yes, caregivers are at great risk.  Festivito   Jul-31-05 12:24 AM   #68 
  - If we could all be so caring  u4ic   Jul-30-05 09:11 PM   #52 
  - God bless you!!  dajoki   Jul-30-05 09:21 PM   #53 
  - Family is where most of us learn how to love,  Kurovski   Jul-30-05 09:33 PM   #54 
  - Festivito, my deepest sympathies for what you have been through.  peacebuzzard   Jul-30-05 09:38 PM   #56 
  - I'm so sorry for your loss Festivito  Joan_Alpern   Jul-30-05 09:45 PM   #57 
  - your love is boundless. peace be with you and your family.  kodi   Jul-30-05 09:47 PM   #58 
  - Complete and utter heartfelt sympathies.....nt  IdaBriggs   Jul-30-05 11:21 PM   #60 
  - I'm so sorry  enigmatic   Jul-30-05 11:29 PM   #62 
  - Well, I've alway had a soft spot for enigmatic people.  Festivito   Jul-31-05 12:34 AM   #69 
  - Your Mom lived much longer and had better quality of life under your  spacelady   Jul-30-05 11:50 PM   #64 
  - Your story is a foreshadowing of mine......  alittlelark   Jul-31-05 12:37 AM   #70 
  - The brutality that you and your mom faced is outrageous. It is hard  mom cat   Jul-31-05 07:36 AM   #72 
  - I am so sorry for your loss...  Debbi801   Jul-31-05 07:42 AM   #73 
  - Blessings to the both of you. You've both earned the rest. Take care. nt  blondeatlast   Jul-31-05 09:41 AM   #75 
  - Sorry to hear about this, Fest  5thGenDemocrat   Jul-31-05 06:47 PM   #78 
  - no words suffice, Festivito.  ulysses   Jul-31-05 06:59 PM   #79 
  - i am sorry to hear of your loss, Festivito  shugah   Jul-31-05 11:46 PM   #80 
  - Sorry for you. That must have hurt so much. You & your family know the  applegrove   Aug-01-05 01:57 AM   #81 

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