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Am I on the no-fly list .. and why? Not what you think. [View All]

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DemoTex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:31 PM
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Am I on the no-fly list .. and why? Not what you think.
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I am not a clothes horse. I buy relatively cheap jeans on the internet and wear them out. However, I did develop a penchant for Calvin Kline boxer shorts when I was still flying. I would get stuck in DC for a couple of weeks at a time (when I was commuting from Dallas), run out of clean undies, and run over to Nordstrom's at Pentagon City for clean underwear. I'd buy the gray Calvin Kline knit boxer shorts (a compromise between tighty-whiteys and loosey-gooseys).

Last month I had a very embarrassing incident (like a Flannery O'Conner story). I went to Dallas (1000 miles) to see my good doctor for my annual physical. When I "dropped trousers" I felt a breeze on my butt. My undies were in tatters! Horror! What did he think of me then?

So, I recently ordered 10 pair of CK undies on the internet @ $195. I know, I know .. but I don't need that lecture tonight. I took a pair out of the box and tried it on. Perfect fit. I took the other nine pairs out of their boxes and threw them all in the washer.

Clean, new undies. Great! I put on the first pair this morning. Good fit! Nice bulge, etc.! Then I took my B/P meds, including a diuretic. Within an hour I had to pee. No problem-o. Oh no, big problem-o! The $19.95 Calvin Kline underwear had no fly! I mean, WTF? How am I supposed to get my Leanon-Portadine out to do it's Watson trick? This is total BS!

Dear reader, what should I do? Boo-hoo, boo-hoo.
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