Reply #7: Steve, Trust Me

[StElsewhere]

Here's what you do. Tell them you are four feet, eleven inches tall and weigh three hundred and twenty-two pounds. Describe the hairy mole at the end of your nose as being "cute." Tell the ladies you're a big fan of flowers and always keep a fresh rose pinned to the empty sleeve of your shirt. Set up dates as soon as possible. Once they meet you in person, they'll be so relieved, a little thing like three marriages won't seem all that important.
Hey, I'm just trying to help.