Reply #17: not a big deal, please!

[unblock]

mrs. unblock wants to go to a strip club more than i do!

besides, it doesn't matter where you get your appetite just as long as you eat at home.

look, everybody likes feeling attractive, everybody likes feeling that other people find are attracted to them. this is true even of married or otherwise paired people.

as a women, you can dress to the nines, or something tight and/or revealing, and simply walk down the street and guys will turn their heads or even ogle and maybe even hit on you. of course, it's a bit of an illusion that these guys are attracted to you, they don't know you, they're more attracted to the display, or the fact that you are preening.

as a man, how can you get that feeling? personally, i can look as dashing as any movie actor and walk down the street, but women still won't make eye contact because that means something different for women.

if a man goes to a strip club, they get the illusion that a bunch of women who are sexy enough to attract anyone they choose are actually interested in them. of course, this too is an illusion, but they get that feeling nonetheless.

in truth, most strippers are fairly disgusted by their customers and see them simply as wallets. many are actually lesbians. yes, some are prostitutes on the side, but the vast majority of men go to strip clubs without doing anything beyond that, especially if they went with a group of people.

furthermore, everytime i've been to a strip club (not very often) i've heard people making business deals. if your husband is in any position where he might have to entertain a client, well, if the client wants to go to a strip club, that's where you go.

my own experience with strip clubs is limited. i went maybe a dozen times when, shortly after a serious car accident, i was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and prescribed amytriptyline(elavil), which is a mood improver. not an anti-depressant, which only makes you feel better if you're depressed; this stuff makes you a bit manic even if you're not depressed. i don't have a logical explanation for why i suddenly felt the urge to go to a strip club other than that, and i haven't been to one since i went off the medication.

i found it arousing, yes, but also innocuous and a bit pathetic. anyone who says that strip clubs are degrading to women has never been in one. they're degrading to men, that's what they are. the women are completely in charge and the men are readily manipulated by a simplistic sex drive to open their wallets and part with its contents. the women leave with exactly what they hoped for, and when the men leave it hits them that it was all an illusion, which is a depressing thought.

oh and, by the way, in new york, people stand on the sidewalk and stuff things into pedestrians' hands. usually it's chinese menus and such, but sometimes it's ads for strip clubs. you can't just toss it on the ground because that's littering. so you just stick it in your pocket intending to toss it when you see a garbage can, but sometimes you forget because you thought nothing of it in the first place....

if he actually went, he's much more likely to have remembered to cover his tracks, assuming he knows you'd be upset, and i'd bet he knows at least that much about you.