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FarmerOak Donating Member (528 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-13-04 12:14 PM
Response to Original message
20. Heresy!
Hand-ripping lettuce is what got this salad into the sorry shape it's in today! Don't you realize that when you hand-rip your lettuce, you might just as well be eating a POTATO salad... or no salad at all?!?

Hand-ripping is just one step away from FOOT-ripping, and why would you want to do THAT??? Why do you hate this salad so much? Are you a spy sent in here by the rutabaga lobby, trying to rip our salad to shreds? I'd really like the moderators to investigate you, and see if you don't have some sort of connections to the pickled-beet people, who try to ruin our salads just because they lack integrity.

Years ago, everyone here used to chop their lettuce with a KNIFE, and we all got along. There was much rejoicing, and we danced long into the night. You rippers (frippers?) came in here, and it's never been the same since!

If you rip-heads are going to ruin this salad for everyone, I AM LEAVING, and I'm taking my tasty cherry tomatoes WITH me.
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  -Time to needlessly factionalize DU Robb  May-13-04 12:02 PM   #0 
  - that's because you are a barbarian Robb...  BigMcLargehuge   May-13-04 12:05 PM   #1 
  - Okay, you can take your hand-ripped lettuce and shove it!  bunnyj   May-13-04 12:05 PM   #2 
  - Cutting them to look like little roses certainly is! n/t  Career Prole   May-13-04 12:07 PM   #6 
  - Oh great, another radish-hating type...  Robb   May-13-04 12:07 PM   #7 
  - You're damn right I support cukes! Nukes too!  bunnyj   May-13-04 12:11 PM   #16 
  - Radishes are the food of the Gods.  JCCyC   May-13-04 12:07 PM   # 
  - What does that make Horseraddish?  ChavezSpeakstheTruth   May-13-04 12:15 PM   #21 
     - Pegasus! (nt)  JCCyC   May-13-04 12:17 PM   #23 
        - Then call me Perseus!!! WASABI - LET'S FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ChavezSpeakstheTruth   May-13-04 12:25 PM   #31 
  - No, broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts  liberalhistorian   May-13-04 12:07 PM   #9 
  - Anyone who actually eats lettuce...  VelmaD   May-13-04 12:05 PM   #3 
  - What kind of lettuce...? Ice berg?  SOteric   May-13-04 12:18 PM   #24 
     - Any lettuce.  VelmaD   May-13-04 12:20 PM   #27 
        - Well then. It'll all work out beautifully.  SOteric   May-13-04 12:32 PM   #40 
           - I'm a little scared of steak right now...  VelmaD   May-13-04 02:02 PM   #54 
              - I'd send you some prime Washington beef,  SOteric   May-13-04 03:01 PM   #57 
                 - I'm actually considering...  VelmaD   May-13-04 03:09 PM   #60 
  - I prefer MY salad to be cut with a Porcelean knife  new_beawr   May-13-04 12:06 PM   #4 
  - The toilet paper should be positioned  JCCyC   May-13-04 12:06 PM   #5 
  - You're right!  bunnyj   May-13-04 12:13 PM   #19 
  - You're right, only wack-job freepers would  Parrcrow   May-13-04 12:21 PM   #28 
     - To those lurking under-rollers:  JCCyC   May-13-04 12:23 PM   #29 
        - We can say all we want out here in DU  Robb   May-13-04 12:27 PM   #34 
           - they're NOT born that way  WoodrowFan   May-13-04 12:34 PM   #43 
           - Personal choice my ass!  JCCyC   May-13-04 12:37 PM   #44 
  - When you say 'hand-ripped'  SOteric   May-13-04 12:07 PM   #8 
  - I Bet You're A  Don_G   May-13-04 12:09 PM   #10 
  - As someone whose mother was killed by lettuce,  Rabrrrrrr   May-13-04 12:09 PM   #11 
  - Hah! Censorship!!  SOteric   May-13-04 12:16 PM   #22 
     - I'm just saying that it would be nice if people be a little more sensitive  Rabrrrrrr   May-13-04 12:26 PM   #32 
        - Ah. Well then.  SOteric   May-13-04 12:33 PM   #41 
        - Ouch!  Rabrrrrrr   May-13-04 12:39 PM   #45 
        - it was probbaly HER fault  WoodrowFan   May-13-04 12:44 PM   #47 
           - It wasn't - it's because the lettuce was picked by a DIRTY IMMIGRANT  Rabrrrrrr   May-13-04 01:11 PM   #48 
  - I like to tie my shoes making ONE bunny ear and wrapping the other lace  lovedems   May-13-04 12:09 PM   #12 
  - Hand Rip This  Beetwasher   May-13-04 12:10 PM   #13 
  - Alert!!! We have a Freeper in our midst!!!  ChavezSpeakstheTruth   May-13-04 12:10 PM   #14 
  - what kind of jerry-lewis-loving FREAK cuts their lettuce???  sus   May-13-04 12:10 PM   #15 
  - lettuce must be separated from itself humanely  Parrcrow   May-13-04 12:11 PM   #17 
  - Anyone who puts butter instead of sour cream on their baked potatoes...  terrya   May-13-04 12:11 PM   #18 
  - Sour cream?  JCCyC   May-13-04 12:20 PM   #26 
     - So now you're saying that Jews should have no voice in American politics?  Rabrrrrrr   May-13-04 12:28 PM   #35 
        - How predictable that YOU would call me anti-semitic  JCCyC   May-13-04 12:34 PM   #42 
           - So you say one thing, but yet you completely deny them the right  Rabrrrrrr   May-13-04 12:40 PM   #46 
  - Heresy!  FarmerOak   May-13-04 12:14 PM   #20 
  - Salad is wrong.  Feanorcurufinwe   May-13-04 12:19 PM   #25 
  - YES YES YES  VelmaD   May-13-04 12:24 PM   #30 
     - You want to take away vegetable's rights to touch one another?  Robb   May-13-04 12:29 PM   #36 
  - To rip or not to rip...that is the question!  icymist   May-13-04 12:27 PM   #33 
  - ## Support Democratic Underground! ##  DU GrovelBot   May-13-04 12:29 PM   #37 
  - Oh, man! Now the strife and bitter antangonisms are getting even worse...  terrya   May-13-04 12:31 PM   #38 
  - It's the PATRIOT ACT that threatens DU, not the economy, you IDIOT! (nt)  JCCyC   May-13-04 12:32 PM   #39 
     - That's not what you said over on the radish blog. n/t  Robb   May-13-04 01:46 PM   #52 
        - Is this insane or what? STOP STALKING ME! (nt)  JCCyC   May-13-04 02:40 PM   #56 
  - All Hail Robb, the One True Dingbat!!!  TXlib   May-13-04 01:26 PM   #49 
  - SALAD IS MURDER!  NoPasaran   May-13-04 01:41 PM   #50 
  - You are either with Star Trek or against it  Endangered Specie   May-13-04 01:43 PM   #51 
  - Why are you atheists so intolerant?  Quahog   May-13-04 02:01 PM   #53 
  - This thread is one step away from being a sex thread!  ChavezSpeakstheTruth   May-13-04 02:04 PM   #55 
  - SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  bunnyj   May-13-04 03:02 PM   #58 
     - You need to turn on your sarcasm meter!  ChavezSpeakstheTruth   May-13-04 05:48 PM   #61 
        - okay!  bunnyj   May-13-04 05:54 PM   #62 
  - I've had you on ignore for so long . . .  m-jean03   May-13-04 03:08 PM   #59 

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