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Reply #26: If Dr. Seuss Were a Woman [View All]

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Scout Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-22-04 11:00 AM
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26. If Dr. Seuss Were a Woman
If Dr. Seuss Were a Woman

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am
I don't live on Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam
I don't brag to my buddies, about my erections
I won't drive to Hell before asking directions
I act nice at parties, don't act like a clown
And I know how to put the damn toilet seat down!

I won't grab your boobies, I won't pinch your butt
My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut
I don't go around readjusting my crotch
Or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch
I don't belch in public, don't scratch my behind
I'm a woman you see--I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman, so glad I could sing
And thrilled I'm not covered with shag carpeting
Hair won't grow from my ears, or cover my back
And when I bend over, you can't see my crack.

I'm a woman, a lass, and I'm proud don't you see?
I'm blessed to have two breasts and squat when I pee.
I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal
I don't need male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks
I'll never join The Hair Club or think with my dick.
I'm a woman by chance, and thankful I am!
I'm so glad I'm a woman, not a man, yes I am
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  -Why are you glad to be a WOMAN? Taverner  Apr-21-04 11:06 PM   #0 
  - Because I can do all of this...  Kadie   Apr-21-04 11:11 PM   #1 
  - Hear me roar  SarahBelle   Apr-21-04 11:13 PM   #2 
  - lol!  PROUD DemocRAT   Apr-21-04 11:15 PM   #4 
  - I was thinking with something else actually.  SarahBelle   Apr-21-04 11:17 PM   #5 
  - Re #1 - Never a victim of bite and turn?  Taverner   Apr-21-04 11:39 PM   #8 
     - Oh yes...  SarahBelle   Apr-22-04 09:03 AM   #19 
  - Multiple -  PROUD DemocRAT   Apr-21-04 11:14 PM   #3 
  - I second that ...ummmmm shoe thing  proud patriot   Apr-22-04 12:12 AM   #11 
  - Because I get to be a mom  SW FL Dem   Apr-21-04 11:18 PM   #6 
  - I honestly can't say that I am  Jen6   Apr-21-04 11:39 PM   #7 
  - me too  Djinn   Apr-22-04 02:29 AM   #14 
     - I did that..  huellewig   Apr-22-04 04:12 AM   #15 
     - ONE OF US! ONE OF US!  REP   Apr-22-04 05:25 AM   #18 
  - Besides the being able to be a mom part, I'd rather be a man  slinkerwink   Apr-21-04 11:41 PM   #9 
  - I HATE being female  undergroundpanther   Apr-22-04 12:10 AM   #10 
     - Great answer! Thanks for taking the time to post this.  bezdomny   Apr-22-04 01:11 AM   #13 
  - The friends, the camaraderie, the support network.  bezdomny   Apr-22-04 01:09 AM   #12 
  - I don't have to be tough or  Piperay   Apr-22-04 05:04 AM   #16 
  - Higher IQ  REP   Apr-22-04 05:22 AM   #17 
  - Lots of wardrobe options  noonwitch   Apr-22-04 09:05 AM   #20 
  - because my genitals do not control me  Skittles   Apr-22-04 09:29 AM   #21 
  - Aye, there's the rub...  Bruce McAuley   Apr-22-04 10:33 AM   #25 
     - women like sex too  Skittles   Apr-22-04 11:38 AM   #27 
        - Yup, the virgin and the whore...  Bruce McAuley   Apr-22-04 12:00 PM   #28 
  - I used to didn't think I was.  democratreformed   Apr-22-04 09:32 AM   #22 
  - I wouldn't trade my genitals for a man's  Misunderestimator   Apr-22-04 09:36 AM   #23 
  - nicer body. prettier face.  lionesspriyanka   Apr-22-04 09:38 AM   #24 
  - If Dr. Seuss Were a Woman  Scout   Apr-22-04 11:00 AM   #26 
  - Easier to get out of traffic tickets  Ramsey   Apr-22-04 12:15 PM   #29 
  - I am glad to be a woman now  Lizz612   Apr-22-04 12:52 PM   #30 
  - Very glad to be a woman  skippysmom   Apr-22-04 01:00 PM   #31 
  - Nothing to prove...  liberalitch   Apr-22-04 01:03 PM   #32 
 

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