Reply #1: The guy who robbed me at gunpoint

[liberalhistorian]

in my work parking lot in August this year was black, I'd say around 18 or 19, he could easily have pulled the trigger of the gun he jammed in my ribs without blinking an eye. For a few weeks, I'm terribly ashamed to admit that actually found myself thinking in a racist manner when it came to subjects like this, bullshit like well, if they'd quit robbing people and committing crimes all the time maybe people wouldn't be afraid of them and they wouldn't have to worry about not having jobs.

I was even afraid of every black male I saw, whether teenager or adult. Yes, I know how ridiculous and stupid and racist and wrong that was. Emotionally, though, at that time, that was just the way I felt.

I came to my senses, of course, and have given a cheerful earful to those who still make racist remarks to me about the robber, asking them if they'd say that about all whites if the kid had been white instead of black and reminding them of the many, many white male teens and adults that are in the news, including locally, for their crimes. Now that I've long since come to my senses, I wonder about the robber (he's never been caught, and I have yet to get ahold of the officer in charge of my case, haven't spoken to him since it happened three months ago, I guess they don't care about things like that unless you're actually shot and hurt or killed), what made him do what he did, how he could be so casual about hurting me, etc.

Was he a drug addict who was desperate for a fix? Did he have some urgent economic need that made him desperate (if so, I would have tried to have helped him without the encouragement of a loaded gun jammed in my ribs and then my neck when he demanded the PIN# of my ATM card). Or was he tired of not being able to get a job because of the stereotypical misperceptions of potential white employers, who see all black males as potential or probable criminals), was he getting desperate and, if so, did he just think the hell with it, I need money and can't get a job anyway? Was he angry that he wasn't being given a chance to prove himself through honest employment? I wonder about that all the time.