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Reply #200: Oh, the dry drunk is quite real [View All]

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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Oct-12-03 12:07 AM
Response to Original message
200. Oh, the dry drunk is quite real
I've experienced it in all its technicolor glory. It's not a 'sinister mind-trap,' but a term which describes someone who continues to relate to others in the way that they did when they were using. Relying on maladaptive behaviors like self-pity, stage-managing others' lives, and oneupmanship creates emotional distress and tempts one to use again. That's all.

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  -Twelve step Cults? KFC  Oct-10-03 11:08 PM   #0 
  - Keep coming back!  Rollins   Oct-10-03 11:14 PM   #1 
  - Oh, bullshit  Eloriel   Oct-10-03 11:16 PM   #2 
  - No...  Dookus   Oct-10-03 11:24 PM   #4 
  - Bill Wilson was never the "Leader" of AA...  stlsaxman   Oct-11-03 09:44 AM   #53 
     - Really?  Kanzeon   Oct-11-03 10:05 AM   #55 
        - See post #58 n/t  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 10:22 AM   #59 
  - just alot of cigarette  rchsod   Oct-10-03 11:25 PM   #5 
  - Funny, I never felt threatened. Basic focus is to be honest with  SharonAnn   Oct-10-03 11:22 PM   #3 
  - It looks like a crock  xJlM   Oct-11-03 09:40 AM   #52 
  - Well this is one of those issues...  Dookus   Oct-10-03 11:25 PM   #6 
  - Looking for loophles  qwertyMike   Oct-10-03 11:32 PM   #9 
  - Actually....  Dookus   Oct-10-03 11:41 PM   #13 
     - You can and do drink/use?  qwertyMike   Oct-10-03 11:49 PM   #16 
     - I'm missing your logic...  Dookus   Oct-10-03 11:51 PM   #19 
        - " group of people participating in rituals and sharing a belief system"  qwertyMike   Oct-11-03 12:05 AM   #26 
        - well....  Dookus   Oct-11-03 12:09 AM   #28 
        - sounds like the catholic church....I am a recovering catholic!  Gin   Oct-11-03 09:27 AM   #48 
        - But that is different  knight_of_the_star   Oct-11-03 12:13 PM   #71 
           - who are these  maxanne   Oct-11-03 12:40 PM   #76 
        - Problems with the 3rd step?  KaraokeKarlton   Oct-11-03 09:32 AM   #50 
           - Atheists in AA  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 02:02 PM   #91 
     - Name some cults  qwertyMike   Oct-10-03 11:51 PM   #18 
     - well....  Dookus   Oct-10-03 11:54 PM   #20 
        - Big Book Nazis  qwertyMike   Oct-11-03 12:02 AM   #25 
     - Dookus, I think you're missing something very important  KaraokeKarlton   Oct-11-03 09:28 AM   #49 
  - Interesting, my cult interest also started with Scientology  KFC   Oct-10-03 11:35 PM   #10 
  - The ingenious thing about AA is they get people who are  Clark Can WIN   Oct-11-03 12:01 AM   #23 
     - LOL...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 12:06 AM   #27 
     - Why?  sandnsea   Oct-11-03 02:33 AM   #36 
        - Easy.  Clark Can WIN   Oct-11-03 02:44 AM   #37 
           - Not much of a response  sandnsea   Oct-11-03 03:15 AM   #40 
           - They also don't recruit  Eloriel   Oct-11-03 12:21 PM   #72 
              - not exactly....  Dookus   Oct-11-03 01:04 PM   #83 
                 - The Recovery Industry  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 02:09 PM   #93 
                 - Baloney...  Kucinich04   Oct-11-03 06:52 PM   #166 
                    - Incredulity  Dookus   Oct-11-03 08:25 PM   #181 
                    - Chances of a Spontaneous Remission  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 10:25 PM   #189 
                       - again...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 10:27 PM   #190 
           - Not Even Close  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 11:11 PM   #195 
  - AA versus Scientology  Liberal Classic   Oct-11-03 01:35 AM   #35 
     - AA does not use peer pressure to  Clark Can WIN   Oct-11-03 02:47 AM   #38 
        - No, they don't  KaraokeKarlton   Oct-11-03 09:39 AM   #51 
        - Nope  qwertyMike   Oct-11-03 11:06 AM   #68 
  - So I've heard this stuff about AA - but usually...  Selwynn   Oct-10-03 11:25 PM   #7 
  - Again...  Dookus   Oct-10-03 11:28 PM   #8 
     - I've watched peole who quit on their own.  qwertyMike   Oct-10-03 11:37 PM   #12 
     - Study please  sandnsea   Oct-11-03 03:20 AM   #41 
     - the burden of proof  iverglas   Oct-11-03 02:13 PM   #95 
        - Hard to say in general - It was effective for me so I'm biased  SharonAnn   Oct-11-03 08:13 PM   #177 
     - AA's Success Rate  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 02:20 PM   #100 
  - As my sponsor said to me: "Yes AA is about brain washing,  roughsatori   Oct-10-03 11:36 PM   #11 
  - secular groups?  GinaMaria   Oct-11-03 11:00 AM   #67 
     - one is SOS  iverglas   Oct-11-03 01:13 PM   #84 
        - you might try putting the blame  maxanne   Oct-11-03 02:31 PM   #106 
        - you go with your experience  iverglas   Oct-11-03 02:54 PM   #111 
           - Intellectually Offensive Nonsense  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 03:43 PM   #129 
        - Goose Stepping  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 10:20 PM   #187 
        - Thanks for answering my question  GinaMaria   Oct-12-03 02:15 PM   #211 
  - Rational Recovery - Oxymoron  qwertyMike   Oct-10-03 11:41 PM   #14 
  - And to me...  Dookus   Oct-10-03 11:49 PM   #17 
  - Nothing is universally helpful  Mikimouse   Oct-10-03 11:57 PM   #21 
  - No argument  qwertyMike   Oct-10-03 11:58 PM   #22 
  - And best of luck to you, too...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 12:01 AM   #24 
     - Ahhhhh, now I get it -- re "dry drunk"  Eloriel   Oct-11-03 12:51 PM   #78 
  - Jargon, dookus  Eloriel   Oct-11-03 12:38 PM   #75 
  - Low Quality Sobriety  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 03:20 PM   #122 
     - huh?  Dookus   Oct-11-03 03:22 PM   #123 
        - Dry Drunk  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 03:47 PM   #132 
           - I didn't post the original claim...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 03:52 PM   #134 
              - Eleven Years?  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 04:14 PM   #139 
                 - I believe...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 04:18 PM   #141 
                 - excuse me for butting in  iverglas   Oct-11-03 04:36 PM   #148 
                    - Thank you iverglas...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 04:40 PM   #150 
  - AA Turnoffs  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 03:50 PM   #133 
     - Again...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 03:56 PM   #135 
        - Personal Experiences  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 04:22 PM   #143 
           - sigh....  Dookus   Oct-11-03 04:26 PM   #145 
  - No, addiction is not irrational...  Kanzeon   Oct-11-03 10:24 AM   #60 
     - AA's Success Rate  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 01:58 PM   #90 
  - I agree AA is a cult  gate of the sun   Oct-10-03 11:45 PM   #15 
  - You made some good points.  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 12:45 AM   #31 
  - She'll get there  sandnsea   Oct-11-03 12:59 AM   #33 
  - oh please  maxanne   Oct-11-03 01:00 AM   #34 
  - Diabetics Don't Have Slogans  REP   Oct-11-03 02:49 AM   #39 
  - Deleted message  Name removed   Oct-11-03 09:14 AM   #44 
     - No feeling of superiority evident here...  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 02:10 PM   #94 
        - roll your eyes all you want  maxanne   Oct-11-03 02:21 PM   #101 
           - Dry Drunk  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 03:03 PM   #112 
              - All AA arguments are based on certain premises  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 06:29 PM   #160 
                 - Informed Opinion  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 11:03 PM   #194 
  - you talk from a "limited viewpoint"  gate of the sun   Oct-12-03 12:11 AM   #201 
     - I see  maxanne   Oct-12-03 12:31 AM   #204 
  - it's not a cult...people transfer one dependance to another....the drug of  Gin   Oct-11-03 09:25 AM   #47 
     - The family should go to Al-Anon for themselves  KaraokeKarlton   Oct-11-03 09:49 AM   #54 
  - I have lots of experience with A.A.  liberalnproud   Oct-11-03 12:10 AM   #29 
  - Ah, so much to respond to here...  Kanzeon   Oct-11-03 10:17 AM   #56 
     - government-mandated  iverglas   Oct-11-03 01:45 PM   #87 
     - gee and you had the nerve to get mad when I said you didn't know what you  dsc   Oct-11-03 03:06 PM   #114 
        - if I could figure out what you were talking about  iverglas   Oct-11-03 03:15 PM   #120 
           - Having problems reading are we  dsc   Oct-11-03 03:39 PM   #126 
     - Godel's Theorem  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 03:28 PM   #125 
     - Hey, this is my opinion. I am entitled to one.  liberalnproud   Oct-11-03 05:46 PM   #152 
  - KFC  maxanne   Oct-11-03 12:32 AM   #30 
  - {{{{Maxanne}}}}}  Eloriel   Oct-11-03 12:59 PM   #79 
  - What hypocrisy  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 08:07 PM   #175 
     - why so nasty  maxanne   Oct-11-03 10:07 PM   #182 
        - Underlying Hostility  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 10:37 PM   #193 
  - Take what you like, leave the rest  sandnsea   Oct-11-03 12:50 AM   #32 
  - What about Atheists?  ReadTomPaine   Oct-11-03 03:48 AM   #42 
  - just fine, thanks  maxanne   Oct-11-03 09:18 AM   #45 
  - No, it IS a religious group.  Kanzeon   Oct-11-03 10:20 AM   #57 
  - I don't own the word  maxanne   Oct-11-03 11:32 AM   #70 
  - Yet...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 01:02 PM   #82 
     - I don't pray to doorstops  maxanne   Oct-11-03 01:46 PM   #88 
  - You don't have to "buy" the God shit if that doesn't suit you...  stlsaxman   Oct-11-03 10:40 AM   #66 
     - As long as you are willing to be dishonest with yourself  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 02:19 PM   #99 
        - horse hockey  maxanne   Oct-11-03 02:22 PM   #102 
        - if that ain't typical  iverglas   Oct-11-03 03:27 PM   #124 
           - why don't you mind your own business  maxanne   Oct-11-03 06:43 PM   #164 
              - Who made you thread nanny?  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 07:17 PM   #169 
              - thanks so much  maxanne   Oct-11-03 07:21 PM   #170 
                 - 'mind your own business' is a point of view?  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 07:28 PM   #171 
                    - I say it again  maxanne   Oct-11-03 10:09 PM   #183 
                       - ah...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 10:13 PM   #185 
                          - ah,  maxanne   Oct-12-03 12:18 AM   #203 
              - the damned funny thing is  iverglas   Oct-12-03 12:20 PM   #206 
                 - If you're going to quote me, iverglas  maxanne   Oct-12-03 03:33 PM   #215 
        - that is crapola  dsc   Oct-11-03 02:26 PM   #104 
           - Define it however you want, I don't believe in a higher power  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 03:40 PM   #127 
              - and I know people in the program  dsc   Oct-11-03 03:45 PM   #131 
                 - 'What ever gets you through the night - it's alright'  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 05:33 PM   #151 
                    - Why does it matter to you, as long as it works?  eileen_d   Oct-11-03 06:01 PM   #154 
                       - That's exactly what I said.  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 06:17 PM   #157 
                          - Well, you did say that, but also:  eileen_d   Oct-11-03 06:30 PM   #161 
                             - Why?  Feanorcurufinwe   Oct-11-03 06:56 PM   #168 
  - Belly full of booze and a head full of AA  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 09:01 AM   #43 
  - As someone who has been through Al-Anon  KaraokeKarlton   Oct-11-03 09:21 AM   #46 
  - While I'm glad you've left him...  Kanzeon   Oct-11-03 10:34 AM   #63 
     - Mother Teresa? Oh please...  KaraokeKarlton   Oct-11-03 03:14 PM   # 
  - LOL. Cult??? One of my favorite AA Tapes is "Bill tells AA"...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 10:21 AM   #58 
  - IOW, the defense is the only reason AA isn't a cult...  Kanzeon   Oct-11-03 10:27 AM   #61 
  - It's an organization that learned from its early mistakes...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 10:32 AM   #62 
     - Hey, if it works for you GOOD. It HASN'T worked for many others, though.  Kanzeon   Oct-11-03 10:36 AM   #64 
        - There are lots of people in AA I can do without. There are also..  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 10:40 AM   #65 
        - sure there do  maxanne   Oct-11-03 11:19 AM   #69 
           - "A coffee pot and a resentment"...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 12:24 PM   #73 
           - the founder  Dookus   Oct-11-03 01:00 PM   #81 
  - Here's an online text version of the tape...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 12:37 PM   #74 
     - Thank you, Junkdrawer.... a great resource!  stlsaxman   Oct-11-03 01:00 PM   #80 
  - Since I came late to the party  dsc   Oct-11-03 12:43 PM   #77 
  - If Bill Wilson Were Alive Today  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 01:40 PM   #86 
     - If you've never read this, sit down and take a few minutes...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 01:53 PM   #89 
  - About A.A, ... direct from the old drunks mouths-  stlsaxman   Oct-11-03 01:16 PM   #85 
  - proof by blatant assertion?  iverglas   Oct-11-03 02:05 PM   #92 
     - You engaged in some very selective editting  dsc   Oct-11-03 02:17 PM   #98 
     - and you might want  iverglas   Oct-11-03 02:29 PM   #105 
        - The sucess rate of AA  dsc   Oct-11-03 02:40 PM   #109 
           - That...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 03:05 PM   #113 
              - It is hard to research for obvious reasons  dsc   Oct-11-03 03:11 PM   #116 
                 - Deleted message  Name removed   Oct-11-03 03:14 PM   #118 
                 - well of course...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 03:14 PM   #119 
                 - Yes they woould  dsc   Oct-11-03 03:42 PM   #128 
                 - but why  iverglas   Oct-11-03 03:18 PM   #121 
                    - AA doesn't take money nor make claims  dsc   Oct-11-03 03:44 PM   #130 
     - AA Is Not A Treatment  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 02:33 PM   #107 
        - what it is and isn't  iverglas   Oct-11-03 03:07 PM   #115 
           - again wrong as wrong can be  dsc   Oct-11-03 03:14 PM   #117 
           - No Cure  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 04:12 PM   #137 
  - I need a drink, a smoke  Liberal_Guerilla   Oct-11-03 02:16 PM   #96 
  - Then by all means- indulge and enjoy!  stlsaxman   Oct-11-03 06:39 PM   #163 
  - Well, this thread was like a moth to a "flame" for me  eileen_d   Oct-11-03 02:16 PM   #97 
  - These meetings are very different  dsc   Oct-11-03 02:23 PM   #103 
     - Right  eileen_d   Oct-11-03 02:36 PM   #108 
  - AA saved my life.  Raenelle   Oct-11-03 02:49 PM   #110 
  - I have to wonder about people who attack NA or AA...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 04:08 PM   #136 
  - I think  Dookus   Oct-11-03 04:14 PM   #138 
     - The Recovery Industry  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 04:16 PM   #140 
     - AA is self supporting through its own contributions...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 04:20 PM   #142 
     - yes...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 04:24 PM   #144 
        - From what I understand, AA's "influence" comes from the fact that...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 04:33 PM   #146 
        - Dismal Success Rate  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 04:35 PM   #147 
        - well....  Dookus   Oct-11-03 04:37 PM   #149 
        - it is hardly  maxanne   Oct-11-03 06:53 PM   #167 
        - Dishonest?  Dookus   Oct-11-03 08:21 PM   #178 
           - The God Stuff  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 10:12 PM   #184 
        - that is just not true  dsc   Oct-11-03 07:50 PM   #173 
     - again  maxanne   Oct-11-03 06:47 PM   #165 
        - I didn't blame AA for that....  Dookus   Oct-11-03 08:23 PM   #180 
           - I think you've  maxanne   Oct-11-03 10:15 PM   #186 
              - Maxanne, Read post #141  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 10:21 PM   #188 
              - "poor dookus"?  Dookus   Oct-11-03 10:30 PM   #191 
              - No, sorry maxanne...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 10:34 PM   #192 
                 - thank you  maxanne   Oct-12-03 12:16 AM   #202 
  - This is utter bullshit...  Kucinich04   Oct-11-03 05:56 PM   #153 
  - Agreed. And if you really want to see people trying to make money...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 06:01 PM   #155 
     - Gawd, I remember going to that RR site  eileen_d   Oct-11-03 06:06 PM   #156 
        - First...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 06:20 PM   #158 
           - Oh, but the initial post cites the RR website...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 06:23 PM   #159 
           - You should read some of the other posts above for some context  eileen_d   Oct-11-03 06:36 PM   #162 
  - Beer Ain't Drinkin  HalfManHalfBiscuit   Oct-11-03 07:43 PM   #172 
  - You're Rush, aren't you...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 07:55 PM   #174 
     - Hot Damn - You nailed me!  HalfManHalfBiscuit   Oct-11-03 08:08 PM   #176 
        - One of the most assinine stories in the 3rd Edition Big Book...  Junkdrawer   Oct-11-03 08:23 PM   #179 
  - hah! hah! hah! .... 12 step, i'm addicted! let me first get my swig  hedgetrimmer   Oct-11-03 11:18 PM   #196 
  - thanks all...  Dookus   Oct-11-03 11:22 PM   #197 
  - Problem With Drinking?  RoonShark   Oct-11-03 11:46 PM   #198 
  - A guy in AA boiled the questionnaire down to 2 questions  Raenelle   Oct-11-03 11:56 PM   #199 
  - Oh, the dry drunk is quite real  forradalom   Oct-12-03 12:07 AM   #200 
  - Is Dubya a "Dry Drunk?"  Virginian   Oct-12-03 12:39 AM   #205 
     - He's dry or wet, but not in recovery, IMO  Raenelle   Oct-12-03 02:05 PM   #210 
  - A question for our AA critics...  Junkdrawer   Oct-12-03 12:52 PM   #207 
  - you just be as offensively dismissive and trivializing as you like  iverglas   Oct-12-03 02:00 PM   #209 
     - My. All that to say "AA is exploiting drunks"...  Junkdrawer   Oct-12-03 02:18 PM   #212 
        - and why am I not surprised ...  iverglas   Oct-12-03 02:31 PM   #213 
           - Why do I have a vision of a broken-down store front...  Junkdrawer   Oct-12-03 02:45 PM   #214 
  - AA saved my life  Amerikav60   Oct-12-03 01:03 PM   #208 
 

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