Reply #56: For those offended by the OP...

[onager]

From "BlackAdder's Xmas Carol..."

Baldrick: Well, I was a bit rushed. I've been helping out with the workhouse nativity play.

Ebenezer: Oh, of course! How did it go?

Baldrick: Well, not very well -- at the last moment, the baby playing Jesus died!

Ebenezer: Oh, dear! This high infant-mortality rate is a real devil when it comes to staging quality children's theatre. What did you do?

Baldrick: Got another Jesus.

Ebenezer: Oh, thank goodness. ...and his name?

Baldrick: `Spot'. There weren't any more children, so we had to settle for a dog instead.

Ebenezer: Oh, dear. I'm not convinced that Christianity would have established its firm grip over the hearts and minds of mankind if all Jesus had ever said was "Woof."

Baldrick: Well, it went all right until the shepherds came on. See, we hadn't been able to get any real sheep, so we had to stick some wool...

Ebenezer: ...on some other dogs.

Baldrick: Yeah... and the moment Jesus got a whiff of them, he's away! While the angel's singing "Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Mankind," Jesus scampers across and tries to get one of the sheep to give him a piggyback ride!

Ebenezer: Scarcely appropriate behaviour for the son of God, Mr Baldrick. Weren't the children upset?

Baldrick: Nah, they loved it. They want us to do another one at Easter -- they want to see us nail up the dog.