Thanks, loads, FreedomAngle82! Once, at a school board meeting, one of the board members gave me the secret handshake -- I kid you not. Instead of putting his whole hand against mine, he pulled back two fingers for the grip. He said, "Oh. I thought you were one of us." I laughed and said, "No. Sorry."
I believe he reported me to the proper authorities. Some days I get the feeling I've been, uh, uh... Where's my hat?

This is the guy they were looking for:
A good man. He helped teach me to give a damn.