Reply #124: A short addendum to this thread.

[Fenris]

I should add that my mother got pregnant when she 18 - a full year before Roe v. Wade. In talking with my mother, I have no reason to doubt that she was mortified at the prospect of having a child out of wedlock. As strained as my relationship has been with my father over my lifetime, I have never stopped respecting him for not leaving my mother. He stayed, and they were married just in time for my mother to have my brother inside of marriage. This was important to my mom of course, because she remains a Catholic and grew up under the most pious Catholic parents I have ever seen. My parent's first years of marriage were not the most pleasant, and my brother, who often bore the brunt of my father's rage, can attest to the unhappy nature of the household. But over time, things got better.

When my mother became pregnant again in 1977, she was thrilled to be having another child. Graham was to be their planned offspring, unlike Ben who had been purely accidental. However, my mother became very ill with toxemia during the end of her pregnancy. She was in the hospital, knocked out on medication, the baby coming out premature. The doctor came out and told my dad he had a choice: my mother or Graham.

He chose my mother. Graham was delivered, survived for three days, and then expired. My father had to make all the necessary funeral arrangements: purchasing the plot, buying the tiny coffin, etc. My mother never saw Graham. She never got to hold him, and she did not attend the funeral.

My mother went into a deep, deep depression for several years after that. It wasn't until 1982 that she felt ready to have another child. In 1983 she became pregnant again, with me. I was born without complication (unless you consider a c-section a complication). My mother still tells me today that I was a wanted child.

And throughout all of this, my mother and father have remained staunchly pro-choice.

I have a lot of respect for them.