Reply #93: I'm so sorry...

[Stargazer09]

...you and your son had to go through all of that. Poor kid.

My ex-husband and I are on decent terms now, but when we first divorced, it was ugly. He wanted to drag things out through the courts, just to punish me for wanting out of our abusive marriage. I wouldn't do it, even though it meant that my ex took our sons away from me. Not having my children with me nearly killed me, but at least our young children did not have to hear the ugly details about why their parents were divorcing. (We've since gone to a flexible custody arrangement, based on what's best for the individual children at a given time in their lives.) Our oldest child just turned 18, and when I take him on his graduation trip later on this year, I'm going to tell him the truth about the divorce.

Believe me, I get a lot of harrassment from some quarters about not having all of my children with me. I have learned to be very quick to explain that I'm doing what's best for my children. And I strongly believe in supporting them, even across the miles. I am not a deadbeat mom!

I hope that you will still be able to help your son as he reaches the age where he can make his own decisions about where to live and who to turn to for support. Take care and good luck!