Reply #159: He had more than a "few" scrapes..and was incarcerated for 8 months

[SoCalDem]

when he was 16..He did "marvelously" while he was locked up. Prior to that he did multiple stints in juvenile hall.. he was "in therapy" off and on from the time he was 12.. Until puberty, he was a "model" child..straight A's, stubborn, but eventually obedient..The first inkling we had was when, at TWELVE, he just took off for 8 days.. Every time the phone rang, we expected to hear a policeman asking us to come and identify a head they had found in an orange grove.. Where had he been?? He went surfing at San Onofre with a bunch of 18 & 19 year olds... He just waltzed in one afternoon as if he had been next door watching TV. His rationale? If he had ASKED, we would have said NO..DUH!!


He was "into" substance abuse, tagging, theft..you name it.. We "delivered" him to the police on more than one occasion for stealing our car, my jewelry, etc..and each time they basically laughed at us and told us it was "a family matter" and that they did not get involved until they committed a felony.. There was NO pro-active help for us..even therapy was only marginally effective because he rationalized everything as "our problem" because HE didn't think his behavior was outrageous..

We tried every kind of intervention, and nothing worked. The shrink said that normally the diagnosis was NOT applied to someone as young as he, but in HIS case it all fit.Meds did nothing except make him sleepy (which we did not mind, but HE did..)

He even had the nerve to "complain" that we did not buy him a car:eyes:. We never even allowed him to get a drivers' license while he lived here (he moved out at 20).. We reminded him that his shenanigans cost us the equivalent of a couple of Porsches..

Calif charged us $68 a DAY for the 8 months he was at "camp".. We were scared to death for him.. He was one of FIVE Anglo kids at this juvenile work camp.. The others were Bloods, Crips, Asian gang members..His "counselor" complemented him on his "leadership" and intelligence.. Color us stunned! But "on his own" he could not handle things at all.

Complicating matters was the fact that his younger brother was valedictorian, Prom King, Homecoming King, summa cum laude, 4 sport letterman.. you name it. I know it irked him that we praised his younger brother.

edit to add:

The "event" that got him 8 months was when he was a passenger in a stolen car escapade. He had the NERVE to do the following..

The cop stopped them.. they ran.. the cop SHOT at them )luckily missed), and when our son realized that he had left HIS BROTHER'S new leather jacket in the back seat of the car they STOLE..he called the owner and asked for the jacket back.. (The guy gave it back :eyes:..)

Talk about NERVE! We did not even find this out until a cop brought the jacket to our house one day ..