Reply #36: When my mom passed,

[woodsprite]

it was very peaceful and very quick. I was with her the night before until about 2am. She was awake, alert, sitting up sipping water, joking with my inlaws, though we knew it was a matter of time - she had developed DIC (disseminated intravascular coagulation) and could not be treated. She kept insisting that someone was beside me and wanted to know who else was in the room with us. She had been legally blind for years, but could still see shadows/color, but no detail. She reached up and grabbed my ear to turn my head in the direction and insisted it was her brother, who had passed away 3 yrs earlier. I told her that I didn't see Uncle Harry, but that if she saw him, then I wasn't going to tell her that he wasn't there - just that I couldn't see him.

She sat back in bed, kissed me goodnight and patted my hand and told me it was OK for me to go check on my hubby and sick baby. She'd see me in the morning. I told her that I'd be back bright and early. She told me how special it was to have a daughter to be friends with and how proud she was of me and my husband, our daughter and new son. When I got there at 8am, she was in the final stages but was holding on. I talked to her briefly, she seemed to acknowledge that I was there because she reached for my hand. She exhaled a huge breath and she never took another after I held her hand and told her I was there and that my brother and I would be fine, but that she needed to be with Dad now. I sat with her about 10 minutes holding her hand quietly, then called the dr. in to have him check vital signs. Since they knew there was nothing that they could do, they had disconnected all monitoring machines days earlier. We were waiting for release to home hospice care.

When my dad passed, the nurse told my mother to sit quietly with him as the time of death drew very near because interaction with the patient will keep the spirit, spark of life, whatever you call it, grounded to their body longer. He had been thru much with multiple myeloma that was untreatable (like leukemia), she didn't want to keep him here any longer if he was ready to go. I tried to do the same for her after I said my goodbyes.

It can happen within a few short minutes, let alone a few hours, and it can happen in a dignified manner without additional intervention.